Method Think I've worked up the nerve to CTB after my car was broken into and my mom cussed me out

[Cress]

My car was broken into earlier in the morning Someone smashed out the back window and rummaged through everything. Apartment complex has video of It happening.


Called my mom and she cussed me out Explaining what a terrible son I am. I think I'm going to use this motivation to mix up some SN and catch the bus.

I haven't eaten anything in 24 hours but I did sip on a little bit of yogurt maybe 10 hours ago and a little bit of pop. Hopefully the sugar won't interfere with it. My stomach is grumbling and it feels pretty clear. I'm going to make a SN drink and sit down in my car for a little bit. Hopefully I can work up the nerve

 

[Wolf Girl]

I'm so sorry for whatever brought you to this point in life. There is no shame in waiting if you decide it's not the right time. I wish you the best with whatever you choose.

 

[Leonszabs]

Hey, firstly I am sorry that your car was broken into! I know that must have been a really frustrating experience for you. I don't want you to influence you in any way, but I will say that you are worth more than you know. As someone who also has a frustrating relationship with their mom, you are not what she makes you out to be. You deserve peace and happiness, and I just wanted to let you know that. Sending my love to you Also, if you ever want to message me, feel free!

 

[Nightfoot]

Sorry that happened to you, thieves are the worst. Also sorry your mom responded that way. I doubt you are a terrible son and I hope things get better for you.

 

[Cress]

Hey, firstly I am sorry that your car was broken into! I know that must have been a really frustrating experience for you. I don't want you to influence you in any way, but I will say that you are worth more than you know. As someone who also has a frustrating relationship with their mom, you are not what she makes you out to be. You deserve peace and happiness, and I just wanted to let you know that. Sending my love to you Also, if you ever want to message me, feel free!

Wasn't so much the fact that my car was broken into as my mom responding to it. someone breaking into my car isn't The end of the world. I called my mom and she told me what a useless waste of space that I am. I'm sure I could go to sleep and tomorrow everything will be fine but I was going to utilize my manic state to CTB.

Took some meto earlier in the day. I was going take a little bit more and a bit here. I already took 400mg of tramadol Hopefully it's enough to keep me calm but I don't want to vomit. I measured Out a couple of cups of 24 to 25g Of SN

Planning on waiting for the tramadol to kick in and calm me down and then going to sit out in my car and down the dose of SN while having a second cup ready when I vomit. I'm just going to listen to the crickets

 

[imtiredasf]

Wasn't so much the fact that my car was broken into as my mom responding to it. someone breaking into my car isn't The end of the world. I called my mom and she told me what a useless waste of space that I am. I'm sure I could go to sleep and tomorrow everything will be fine but I was going to utilize my manic state to CTB.

Took some meto earlier in the day. I was going take a little bit more and a bit here. I already took 400mg of tramadol Hopefully it's enough to keep me calm but I don't want to vomit. I measured Out a couple of cups of 24 to 25g Of SN

Family is the fucking worst. They're supposed to support, and love, and care for you and the vast majority of family I've had or from people I've met has been fucking shit. I'm sorry that your mom is a fucking creature and part of the reason that you're going to ctb. You deserved better than that. Find peace.

 

[Leonszabs]

Wasn't so much the fact that my car was broken into as my mom responding to it. someone breaking into my car isn't The end of the world. I called my mom and she told me what a useless waste of space that I am. I'm sure I could go to sleep and tomorrow everything will be fine but I was going to utilize my manic state to CTB.

Took some meto earlier in the day. I was going take a little bit more and a bit here. I already took 400mg of tramadol Hopefully it's enough to keep me calm but I don't want to vomit. I measured Out a couple of cups of 24 to 25g Of SN

Your mom seems like she is just projecting her insecurities and issues onto you. I am really sorry that you are dealing with someone who does nothing but make you feel like shit. I don't know you, but I know for sure that you aren't worthless. Either way, I am not going to pressure you into staying if you truly do not want to. I just wanted to let you know that I hear you and understand you. Much love

 

[Cress]

Thanks for everyone's kind words. I don't feel pressured or anything just planning on getting everything prepared and staring at the glass of SN. I imagine it'll be just like every other time and I'll wuss out and you'll hear from me

 

[amerie]

I am going to touch whoever broke into your car I'm serious. Bitch we ride at dawn.

 

[Cress]

Doesn't look like much when it's inside a Drinking cup. Just a little bit of sugar. Either way this is the last step

Anyway I have a degenerative nerve condition. It's not like my life was going well. My girlfriend passed away in January. I wouldn't mind seeing her again. I'm pretty sure I've posted a lot of my story over the years about my nerve condition. That's my primary reason for not wanting to live anymore. Someone telling you you're worthless like your mother helps get you off your ass And finally work up the nerve to do it.
I just called one of my friends and told him this would probably be the last time we talking. He said he was probably A terrible person to call as he was just going to make fun of me for being suicidal again. I can't really blame him i've been here many times before.

Anyway I think I've taken all of my pre meds We're gonna go sit out in my car And stare at my solution of SN.

Thank you for all the kind words everyone's given.

 

[Wolf Girl]

Are you still with us? How are you feeling?

 

[EmptyBottle]

I'm surprised to be reading the thread in realtime vs days old... keep in mind that there is no obligation to do (or not do) anything, and we will respect your decision either way.

Spoiler: feelings

(tho it feels unfortunate reading... personally, I'd try to at least report the theft somehow....especially if I could contact whoever has the CCTV footage)

Feel free to state a little interesting fact if u wish tho, like favourite food (mine is sushi)

 

[Cress]

I'm surprised to be reading the thread in realtime vs days old... keep in mind that there is no obligation to do (or not do) anything, and we will respect your decision either way.

Spoiler: feelings

(tho it feels unfortunate reading... personally, I'd try to at least report the theft somehow....especially if I could contact whoever has the CCTV footage)

Feel free to state a little interesting fact if u wish tho, like favourite food (mine is sushi)

My favorite food is also sushi. For some reason I really like it cold. You can buy this for like $15 at Costco

Are you still with us? How are you feeling?

Yeah I'm still here. I mixed the SN with a little bit of water. Taken even more tramadol. Haven't worked up the nerve to drink the SN yet. It's truly the point of no return

 

[darksouls]

View attachment 175781View attachment 175780


Doesn't look like much when it's inside a Drinking cup. Just a little bit of sugar. Either way this is the last step

Anyway I have a degenerative nerve condition. It's not like my life was going well. My girlfriend passed away in January. I wouldn't mind seeing her again. I'm pretty sure I've posted a lot of my story over the years about my nerve condition. That's my primary reason for not wanting to live anymore. Someone telling you you're worthless like your mother helps get you off your ass And finally work up the nerve to do it.
I just called one of my friends and told him this would probably be the last time we talking. He said he was probably A terrible person to call as he was just going to make fun of me for being suicidal again. I can't really blame him i've been here many times before.

Anyway I think I've taken all of my pre meds We're gonna go sit out in my car And stare at my solution of SN.

Thank you for all the kind words everyone's given.

I am so sorry for the loss of your girlfriend
wishing you the best, I hope you find peace

 

[imtiredasf]

It seems like you've just been fucked out of the chance to have meaningful connections with people, and that sucks. Your "friend" sucks, too. No one deserves to be ridiculed for being sad, and no one deserves to have their reaching out dismissed. The spiteful person in me hopes that they have issues dealing with things if you do ctb, but the rest of me is just kind of sad that you don't have anyone to speak with. I'm sorry.

 

[Cress]

It seems like you've just been fucked out of the chance to have meaningful connections with people, and that sucks. Your "friend" sucks, too. No one deserves to be ridiculed for being sad, and no one deserves to have their reaching out dismissed. The spiteful person in me hopes that they have issues dealing with things if you do ctb, but the rest of me is just kind of sad that you don't have anyone to speak with. I'm sorry.

It's alright your kind words mean a lot. If I drink some chocolate milk or something I'll be locking myself out of SN CTB for at least 24 hours. I guess I'll go sit out in my car and think about it and I have everything ready to go.

I am so sorry for the loss of your girlfriend
wishing you the best, I hope you find peace

Yeah it's been hell without her for the past 7 months. We were dating for 5 years. She just crumpled up one day and passed away. She had a lot of medical issues I don't know why she died though
I don't really care about the car I guess it's more so the fact that my mom took it as an opportunity to tear into me. Of course I'm gonna use it as an opportunity to feed off of my suicidal ideation. I guess she thought there was something that I could do. There's literally video of him busting out my back window and crawling in. We have a private parking lot but I guess it's not private enough.

 

[Leonszabs]

View attachment 175785


My favorite food is also sushi. For some reason I really like it cold. You can buy this for like $15 at Costco

Yeah I'm still here. I mixed the SN with a little bit of water. Taken even more tramadol. Haven't worked up the nerve to drink the SN yet. It's truly the point of no return

Do you have any particular favorite sushi rolls? My favorite is the caterpillar roll!

 

[Cress]

Do you have any particular favorite sushi rolls? My favorite is the caterpillar roll!

I like salmon Sushi but you can kind of just see what's in the picture and then there's a specialty type of role I forget what it's called. I don't really like the ones that are gooped up in a bunch of sauce.

I suppose I'm probably better off dumping this SN and Drinking some chocolate milk. Even if my friends and community are going to make fun of me for being suicidal for the 20th time and not going through with it.

 

[EmptyBottle]

I like salmon Sushi but you can kind of just see what's in the picture and then there's a specialty type of role I forget what it's called. I don't really like the ones that are gooped up in a bunch of sauce.

I suppose I'm probably better off dumping this SN and Drinking some chocolate milk. Even if my friends and community are going to make fun of me for being suicidal for the 20th time and not going through with it.

I, and other forum users (unless there are trolls lurking near this thread) won't make fun of you for cancelling.

Chocolate (and even strawberry) milk is indeed tasty.

 

[Leonszabs]

I like salmon Sushi but you can kind of just see what's in the picture and then there's a specialty type of role I forget what it's called. I don't really like the ones that are gooped up in a bunch of sauce.

I suppose I'm probably better off dumping this SN and Drinking some chocolate milk. Even if my friends and community are going to make fun of me for being suicidal for the 20th time and not going through with it.

You got good taste! Also, you can always message me :) I am always here to talk but I really sincerely hope that you feel better.