M19R

M19R

Member
Aug 12, 2024
14
Since my last post things have gotten even worse. I didn't go through with it after my birthday because im a stupid fucking coward and now things are only getting worse.

Now my best friends girlfriend is coming between us, she clearly hates me for being close to her. Has a problem with me being around too much while they're hanging out even though i live here too. She doesn't live here and doesn't acknowledge how much in try to do to make her comfortable when she's over. I dont know if she doesn't see it or doesn't care.

My ex is still over a lot and things are still difficult there. We all love her andbi would never take away the people i know are some of the first real friends she's ever had. She doesn't deserve that. But it fucking hurts, it hurts so bad, especially because woth the kind of relationship everyone had i know her and the girls are having sex. I dont hold that against her either, itb was a thing that happened and i was included in even during the relationship (everyone knew about this and talked through boundaries and everything, no cheating involved), she shouldn't have to change her relationship with other people because shes not with me anymore.

Today though, hit me especially badly. The roommate that is also my manager warned us that shes looking into finding a place with one of her partners. This would include both her moving out and potentially leaving her job entirely or the store i work at. Of course there isn't a timeframe on this either. Two of my other roommates have been laid off (effective for one in a week and the other november 8th). Right now if things go to shit im the last one with a job. If that roommate leaves the store any other general manager will probably fire me for my disability. We've discussed how thats likely to happen.

How do i keep going when things keep getting worse? Whats the best way to end things if i cant? I have a couple pretty severe allergies, could anaphylaxis work or is it too easily treated?
 
M19R

M19R

Member
Aug 12, 2024
14
I went to the living room and watched a movie with my best friend and her girlfriend, im sure the girlfriend still doesn't like me and im not entirely sure im welcome but im just desperately looking for some way to be allowed in my life.
 
M19R

M19R

Member
Aug 12, 2024
14
Broke down on front of my best friend when her girlfriend went to the bathroom. Ive been trying desperately to ask people in my life including her for help, but ive not been able to tell anyone exactly how bad it is so i just dont get any. Last time someone knew how severe things were she left me. Said i was too much said she didn't know a relationship would be that much and that she wasn't ready . Best friend says she'll help me find therapy but what am i supposed to do there if i cant actually tell them how bad it is? I cant be hospitalized again. I just cant do that. Best friend even told me she would prefer if someone else could help but i think im out of options. Im scared and i don't know what to do.
Ill keep trying to forget but through that I remember
I dont know what this means
 
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