Venting things are just getting worse

[BlueberrySylv]

hey everyone, it's been a while since I've been on this website, trying to get better and feel better and all that stuff you think of.
it's been a long way since first time I learnt about this website, and participated in it.
I learnt a lot of things and ultimately did something which now idk if I wish for it had it succeeded or not.

I had gone on anti depressants for 5 months and then I had to stop for because of my finals.
and now that it's done, I'm free again... just that, I'm feeling shit again. I'm feeling horrible once again, I feel like I have no energy, I feel like I want to cry constantly everything is annoying me and I'm just back to square zero again....

and Because I was *pulled* away from my routines and hobbies and things it's so hard to go back into them like reading and drawing and everything of that.

the war happened between Israel and Iran and since I live in one of the said countries it's just. horrible they have blocked my access completely for a while although now things have calmed down.

things are so dire. everything is so just, shit and turns out I've failed 4 of my subjects in the finals (mainly due to how I was so depressed in first term).
and this news is just breaking me mentally I really don't know how I can make this better, I really don't know how I'm going to fix this I barely can function inside the house let alone try to appeal/redo the exam and study even and hope for the best.

it's just has been a lot. lot lot. my brain has been actively against me I've been having sleep issues and it's just been. so freaking shit. sigh.


sorry for my rant, I just needed to tell someone... something this.
if you've made it this far down thank you <3 you're an amazing person. wish me luck. with my life I truly need it.

 

[ChainedCrow]

It might be the drugs coming off i personally didnt feel any diffrence on the antidepressants so its hard for me to think of a reason. I wouldnt worry to much on the exams and stuff all that is important is that you are alive as it sounds like u want to recover and keep living. Im so sorry to hear about the israel war and how it affected you i couldnt imagine being in such a situation. It takes time to feel better or learn to do things again so take all the time in the world to learn again. Meow Meow much love and good luck with whatever future throws at you

 

[BlueberrySylv]

I was thinking of the same thing too, maybe that the drugs are coming off and this is just the side effects.
but I believe it's just how it is to be honest.
cause it's been now over 2 months since I have stopped taking any anti deps.
and it just feels like I'm going to my old self, before taking anything and just back to before.
sigh, it's just. depressing by itself too lul which is ironic
also meow meow to you too! and thank you <3

 

[enjoytheride]

Hi! Are you able to do any sports or physical activities such as walks, running or fitness? If you are and it is not part of your routine, I reckon it could help make up for the emptiness left by antidepressants. Physical activity is known to "create" good mood chemicals in our brains. I am not a therapist and this is just a thought. I never took antidepressants but I can imagine that stopping them can be very harsh.

Life is ups and downs, and most of us, if not all of us on this forum, perhaps feel that there is no strength left in us to handle these ups and downs. I, for once, have been craving for stability, for a pause in everyday psychological warfare, which includes actual warfare and its cruel consequences.

I hope that your "up" period is just around the corner, approaching. It helps to think that, as Heraclitus has said, the only constant thing is change. Sorry if I sound preachy.

Best regards