Story They lied

[PeaceBeWithU]

I started walking a girl home in December of 2022. I had 2 classes with her but didn't know her name at this point. I crossed the street to the other side of a bridge she looked like she was going to jump off. In May we started dating, in Late July/August we broke up. She cheated on me in June with a person she promised literally the day it happened that it wouldn't happen. I forgave her because she told me as soon as possible and not much happened between them. She broke up with me. Then told people I raped her! (I didn't she lied), verbally berated me for months. (We are still close friends). I moved to get away from her and the problems she created, I regret that. She held a loaded gun to my head once I'm November, and as I was sitting on the floor crying I begged her to pull the trigger. She obviously didn't I'm still alive. Last week I bought one. To use on myself. With bullets she gave me from our incident. My plan is to shoot myself in the chest (brain damage fucks with me). She'll get my phone after with a series of notes to her (I was nice in all of them, I'm pretty forgiving and don't want her to off herself just because I did, before I met her I was very happy haha), family, friends, and acquaintances. I can't have her no matter how much I allow her to push me down. She won't allow me to date anyone else whilst keeping her in my life. She's already moved on. And I am stuck. People told me, it would get better, but they lied. They lied. It didn't get better. And I don't want to be trapped anymore. I don't know why I joined this forum. Or why I'm writing this. I can't tell anyone in my life about everything I write here. And I just want my story to be known. I want people to know what happened to me. How trying to save another person had the butterfly effect of leading me here.

 

[mortuarymary]

Is she really worth it?

 

[PeaceBeWithU]

Is she really worth it?

I hope if I see God he gives me a Time Machine. I hope if I become a spirit or something I can haunt her dreams.

It's funny that you say that specifically, because she carved into her arm with a knife NWFF, (Not Worth Fighting For) and for the past YEAR I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PROVE SHE IS. And I'd rather die to prove that than admit maybe she isn't haha. I've become delusional I'm gonna be honest. I should've seen the red flags and ran. But right now I'm kinda stuck because of her. And I would rather die right and maybe make some sort of lasting impact on her life that makes her feel worth something, worth anything, thank live feeling worthless whilst she feels worthless to. And I know that's stupid. I know that doesn't prioritize myself or even make an attempt at trying to save myself. She's probably not worth it.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I hope if I see God he gives me a Time Machine. I hope if I become a spirit or something I can haunt her dreams.

It's funny that you say that specifically, because she carved into her arm with a knife NWFF, (Not Worth Fighting For) and for the past YEAR I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PROVE SHE IS. And I'd rather die to prove that than admit maybe she isn't haha. I've become delusional I'm gonna be honest. I should've seen the red flags and ran. But right now I'm kinda stuck because of her. And I would rather die right and maybe make some sort of lasting impact on her life that makes her feel worth something, worth anything, thank live feeling worthless whilst she feels worthless to. And I know that's stupid. I know that doesn't prioritize myself or even make an attempt at trying to save myself. She's probably not worth it.

Dude, she's a piece of shit. She reminds me of my ex-stepmother and how she treated my dad. She cheated on him and even gloated about it, lashed out at him physically and verbally, made a bunch of false allegations during one of her episodes including rape allegations against my dad, tried lying to his new girlfriend (now ex) when she went to introduce herself to her and claimed that my father was "crazy and bipolar", uses my brother as leverage to continually threaten him, reported him to the police for some lie she made up, etc.

People like your ex are not worth it, end of story. There is no "probably" here. They are Definitely not worth it. They are beyond saving and if they have the chance they will drag you down with them.

You aren't her saviour and she doesn't view you that way either. You are just another person she can hurt. I understand that this might be easier said than done, but you need to cut her completely put of your life and move on. Any help that she needs to turn around and do better needs to come from a professional. You are not that. You cannot save her. You will just hurt ypurself more if you keep on obsessing over her. She is not worth it.

I understand that I may come off as a bit dramatic in this post, but I really need you to get it through to your head that she DEFINITELY not worth it.

 

[mortuarymary]

Got to agree with evisceratedjester she is a piece of shit.
Ending your life for that?
No way man.

 

[PeaceBeWithU]

Dude, she's a piece of shit. She reminds me of my ex-stepmother and how she treated my dad. She cheated on him and even gloated about it, lashed out at him physically and verbally, made a bunch of false allegations during one of her episodes including rape allegations against my dad, tried lying to his new girlfriend (now ex) when she went to introduce herself to her and claimed that my father was "crazy and bipolar", uses my brother as leverage to continually threaten him, reported him to the police for some lie she made up, etc.

People like your ex are not worth it, end of story. There is no "probably" here. They are Definitely not worth it. They are beyond saving and if they have the chance they will drag you down with them.

You aren't her saviour and she doesn't view you that way either. You are just another person she can hurt. I understand that this might be easier said than done, but you need to cut her completely put of your life and move on. Any help that she needs to turn around and do better needs to come from a professional. You are not that. You cannot save her. You will just hurt ypurself more if you keep on obsessing over her. She is not worth it.

I understand that I may come off as a bit dramatic in this post, but I really need you to get it through to your head that she DEFINITELY not worth it.

No you're right. Thank you for saying that. I needed someone to just say it to me. Maybe she'll change some day and we'll meet again. I don't think she will. If she does I'd be willing to be there. Until then she's gotta stay out.