All my illnesses started acting up again with some other weird symptoms that I can't attribute to a specific illness. So I might have something new. My doctors aren't taking me serious again anymore and are not helping me. They send me from one to another, not really diving deep to find out what's wrong with me.
My symtpoms make it so hard for me to do anything at all. I can barely cook or or make my bed, I get exhausted just from bending over to pick something up. All of these tasks are then done by somebody else, usually my boyfriend or my mother and I can't do shit. I try to so often and pull through even though it's only making my symptoms worse, just to prove to them, that I don't use them out of laziness. I want to be able to take care of myself. I planned on moving out with my boyfriend at the end of the year, but how should all of this work if I can't do basic things? How should I start going to school and work again at the end of the year?
It doesn't get better and if it does, always something new flares up. My body must really hate me. I really just want to be independent and safe, but my body doesn't want me to.
I don't see any hope in this life, if I always continue to be ill. All my hope was always about my health issues disappearing, but if they don't, there really is no hope, because then I can never escape this house and this situation. This is not what I want. I would rather be dead. It's so hard to just not give up right now, how many more years am I supposed to be unable to do anything?
My symtpoms make it so hard for me to do anything at all. I can barely cook or or make my bed, I get exhausted just from bending over to pick something up. All of these tasks are then done by somebody else, usually my boyfriend or my mother and I can't do shit. I try to so often and pull through even though it's only making my symptoms worse, just to prove to them, that I don't use them out of laziness. I want to be able to take care of myself. I planned on moving out with my boyfriend at the end of the year, but how should all of this work if I can't do basic things? How should I start going to school and work again at the end of the year?
It doesn't get better and if it does, always something new flares up. My body must really hate me. I really just want to be independent and safe, but my body doesn't want me to.
I don't see any hope in this life, if I always continue to be ill. All my hope was always about my health issues disappearing, but if they don't, there really is no hope, because then I can never escape this house and this situation. This is not what I want. I would rather be dead. It's so hard to just not give up right now, how many more years am I supposed to be unable to do anything?
