Venting There is no such thing as "true" friends for someone like me.

[BecomingTired]

I don't understand. I try my best to be there for them, for whatever situation they might be in. I pick up on their feelings even on the least obvious moments to the point they share gratitude for me always wanting to support them. I purposely show as much affection as possible to let them know there is someone out there who loves for and cares for them; yet every goddamn fucking time i try to open up to a single one of these people who I constantly supported, they express discomfort and immediately start showing disinterest if I try to talk any further. Even when they don't and tell me they care, if I EVER were to accidentally go against them at the wrong mood, they pull out all the insecurities I told them like a knife in the back to viciously insult me in a fit of rage; I just constantly take their insults, their swears, their venting and try again at being their support until they feel better about themselves and stop. It's to the point they treat my lack of self-worth as me just being a 'saint' in their equally sad lives and they "can't imagine life without me".

I genuinely want to be there for them and want them to be happy so I just try to ignore it but each time it just sticks. It never goes away, just silently gnawing at my sanity as I live out my already horrible, depressing life. That was not even my breaking point. It was when the one time I fucked up and gave half-hearted support (because of things that happened IRL got me into an even more sad mood than usual), I get sent screenshots of them telling people everything I told them, just to be mocked by them all due to how "pathetic" I seemed.

I can't even think anymore without my mind hurting right now, and the worst thing is that I still don't want to bring myself to cutting off the relationship; funnily enough, despite being the one relied on, I became the person attached.

 

[Sleeper System]

People have different needs thus they require different kinds of friendships. It's not one size fits all when it comes to finding folks you can depend on and be depend on by.

Your situation requires that you have friends who reciprocate your emotional, mental, and kinetic support.

In short, the people you have attached yourself to only use you and do so selfishly without regard. They are not interested in mutual friendship. Just one sided interactions where only they benefit.

My advice, distance yourself from them slowly. It's not easy but it will show you who if any are actually a friend and seek you out when it no longer benefits them.

The harsh reality is maybe none of them do. That's a risk you have to decide if you want to take. I can understand the thought process behind " Friends im not happy with are better than no friends at all." So it's up to you.

 

[BecomingTired]

People have different needs thus they require different kinds of friendships. It's not one size fits all when it comes to finding folks you can depend on and be depend on by.

Your situation requires that you have friends who reciprocate your emotional, mental, and kinetic support.

In short, the people you have attached yourself to only use you and do so selfishly without regard. They are not interested in mutual friendship. Just one sided interactions where only they benefit.

My advice, distance yourself from them slowly. It's not easy but it will show you who if any are actually a friend and seek you out when it no longer benefits them.

The harsh reality is maybe none of them do. That's a risk you have to decide if you want to take. I can understand the thought process behind " Friends im not happy with are better than no friends at all." So it's up to you.

I'll try that, I'm just not sure how I can just break off friendships like that when we did share good memories together.

 

[Sleeper System]

I'll try that, I'm just not sure how I can just break off friendships like that when we did share good memories together.

Once you have collected a memory it is yours until death.
You can hold on to them or let them go as you chose.

As for the method, just slowly stop returning calls or text right away. Seem less interested in them. Maybe start doing things yourself that keeps you busy. Time will do the rest.

Or you can get gangsta and straight up confront them and tell them how you feel and lay it all out clearly. They will have to make a choice or you will make it for them.