Venting There is no place for a person like me

[Gaga786]

I honestly believe this world is meant for arrogant, confident, egotistical, boundaries creating people. I noticed this pattern throughout my life. Majority of the people who are successful are determined and have these qualities. I was raised to be a people pleaser and to survive on helping others and preaching kindness. Look where that got me : a life full of misery, abuse, lack of happiness, neglect, shitty self esteem etc. Just today I went out to eat and there was a waiting. I was standing for quite a long time and as soon as a chair got free, rather than sitting on it, I looked around frantically for someone else In need potentially more deserving than me. I noticed that this is exactly what I have been programmed to do, prioritise other people and their needs before myself. My parents did the same and they passed it onto me. In school I would give all of my lunch money to other students in need whilst keeping less for myself. No matter how much I try to put myself first, I just can't stop thinking about others. I hate how im like this and the consequences of having such a personality– to feel everything so deeply– is one of the reasons why I want to CTB. It's like each day im waiting to make my move to make someone happy so I can feel pleased and happy with myself and I often make myself seem like a fool. I doubt I can survive living like this for the future
Im not trying to boast about being such a wonderful human being because im not. Im just as bad as the rest of the people if not worse

 

[Duochrome-Seahorse]

Yeah being a people pleaser does nothing in trying to live a good life. I used to be a people pleaser in fear that I'll get hurt if I don't comply. But now I'm trying to put my foot down when people try to overstep my boundaries, including my friends and family.

It's a really REALLY scary first step to take, but learning to stand up for urself/set boundaries will make your life a bit easier to handle. I had anxiety attacks when I said no to people, I still have them now lol, but eventually people need to realize that they can't get everything they want from you.

People make selfishness some sort of bad thing when in reality it's people trying to take care of themselves and their limits, doesn't make them selfish in the slightest. I wish it was normalized too.

I hope things get easier for you. I believe that you can break the cycle no matter how small the progress!

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

There is a place, I'm sure you're a good person and valuable to many people

 

[Gaga786]

There is a place, I'm sure you're a good person and valuable to many people

Thanks, but look what the world has done to me.Im beyond broken and no one cares about it. Wherever I go people treat me in such a weird way. I have always felt so odd and peculiar compared to the rest. I also deserve peace from this cruel world

Yeah being a people pleaser does nothing in trying to live a good life. I used to be a people pleaser in fear that I'll get hurt if I don't comply. But now I'm trying to put my foot down when people try to overstep my boundaries, including my friends and family.

It's a really REALLY scary first step to take, but learning to stand up for urself/set boundaries will make your life a bit easier to handle. I had anxiety attacks when I said no to people, I still have them now lol, but eventually people need to realize that they can't get everything they want from you.

People make selfishness some sort of bad thing when in reality it's people trying to take care of themselves and their limits, doesn't make them selfish in the slightest. I wish it was normalized too.

I hope things get easier for you. I believe that you can break the cycle no matter how small the progress!

Yeah, it really is. I doubt it'll be possible because my whole life I've always depended on this pleasing aspect. I just crave peace from this horrible world

 

[makebelieve]

As far as I can remember I've always been a people pleaser. I guess its my way to compensate for my lack of social skills and ugly appearance.