Therapy

[perpetualsomnolence]

I have therapy in about an hour. I am torn between letting her know how I feel because I am so low and it'll be hard to pretend and I feel I need to get stuff off my chest, but also I have made up my mind and don't want her to get in the way.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it's a terrible idea opening up about wanting to die as ending up trapped in a psych ward certainly sounds so horrible to me. Sadly we exist in a world that punishes those who wish to do the perfectly logical thing of choosing not to delay the inevitable, I hate how suicide isn't accepted as being a personal decision.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You should definitely avoid saying anything that could be related to CTB and even only thoughts about it. It's better to vent here regarding this stuff. I wish you all the best with your therapy and should you want to talk about crucial stuff like CTB and other things the "normies" out there are not being able to understand you will always find people here you can talk to. I wish you all the best with our therapy.

 

[Catastrofe]

It depends how much you trust your psychologist ... have you ever mention your suicidal thoughts before? If not you may start saying you have sometimes thought about but have no active behaviour or actual plan. Being suicidal is a matter of degrees : there anre people that just think about, or dream about (passive behaviour), some others are looking for informations on how to do that (active behaviour), some others have a plan, some others a datevand method set. The first thing the psychologist has to asset is if you are passive or active, and what stage you are in. If you are passive suicidal usually there is no consequence in saying that, because it is considered low risk - they are just thoughts.
If you want to try, you can start to mention your thoughts and see the reactions. It will help you know if to say any further.

My psychologist know all about my active behaviour (I have almost everything for the SN method) and he told me he cannot stop me or report me, so I freerly speak about.

That said, it is of course up to you.

 

[gap]

Even my psychologist knows that if some conditions coincide, I would like CTB, she explained to me that they cannot prevent it, unless you inform her that you are about to imminently endanger your life, only in that case she has the obligation to intervene.

 

[SexyIncél]

How'd it go?

 

[Strangeasangels]

It is really hard to find a good therapist. I've been seeing the same therapist for over a year and she has this habit of sitting in silence after I have an emotional outburst. I've called her out on it a few times. Why the fuck am I paying this person?

I've been really depressed lately, because my cat died last week I told her that I was suicidal, and she told me to go to a hospital. So the hospital can lock me up and then I can lose all the clients I have worked for and then I can really have a reason to want to die?

Therapists are a joke. I ended up firing her a couple of days ago.

 

[perpetualsomnolence]

I think it's a terrible idea opening up about wanting to die as ending up trapped in a psych ward certainly sounds so horrible to me. Sadly we exist in a world that punishes those who wish to do the perfectly logical thing of choosing not to delay the inevitable, I hate how suicide isn't accepted as being a personal decision.

How'd it go?

I told her as I was so upset I couldn't really keep it in. But I assured her it wasn't imminent as I am going to a music festival this weekend (I plan for this to be my last kind of celebration) and told her I would check in with her on Monday. I am planning to do it next week.

It is really hard to find a good therapist. I've been seeing the same therapist for over a year and she has this habit of sitting in silence after I have an emotional outburst. I've called her out on it a few times. Why the fuck am I paying this person?

I've been really depressed lately, because my cat died last week I told her that I was suicidal, and she told me to go to a hospital. So the hospital can lock me up and then I can lose all the clients I have worked for and then I can really have a reason to want to die?

Therapists are a joke. I ended up firing her a couple of days ago.

Im sorry you had such a shitty experience. Mine is so lovely I almost feel a little bad about what Im gonna do. I know she'll feel responsible.

 

[Catastrofe]

. I know she'll feel responsible.

If (and only if) you are up for any kind of recovery, maybe you can start from that : you can try to ask her what she feels about your ideas, if she 2ill feel responsible if you do that ... it is just a way to start talking about.
If course if you want.

 

[hahayeaj]

I have therapy in about an hour. I am torn between letting her know how I feel because I am so low and it'll be hard to pretend and I feel I need to get stuff off my chest, but also I have made up my mind and don't want her to get in the way.

I think it's worth it to open up about wanting to die, you shouldn't be put into a psych ward unless they think and you say your plan is going to be put into action. Therapy only helps with honesty and vulnerability. Even if it hurts

 

[perpetualsomnolence]

If (and only if) you are up for any kind of recovery, maybe you can start from that : you can try to ask her what she feels about your ideas, if she 2ill feel responsible if you do that ... it is just a way to start talking about.
If course if you want.

I know she will and many others in my life will, despite the fact that this is my choice alone and a lot less painful than continuing living. It is something I'll have to deal with.

I think it's worth it to open up about wanting to die, you shouldn't be put into a psych ward unless they think and you say your plan is going to be put into action. Therapy only helps with honesty and vulnerability. Even if it hurts

I told her that it wasn't imminent ie. next 24 hours (which it isn't, I need to do more prep). So she didn't need to call anyone.

 

[Catastrofe]

I know she will and many others in my life will, despite the fact that this is my choice alone and a lot less painful than continuing living. It is something I'll have to deal with.

I see, and I understand how you feel. I feel kinda the same.
So you told about.. how did it go? What did she say? (If you feel comfortable to share)