Venting The "You have to keep going" bullshit

[pony No.2]

I will never understand why would you tell a suicidal person to "keep going", especially after hearing their valid reasons for wanting to die. It's like you're ignoring their quality of life and only want them to live because you think every problem is temporary or can be fixed. Yeah, life is precious, which why it shouldn't be forced upon someone with a poor quality of it.

I don't think anyone can fathom how fucking emotionally and psychologically damaging for someone talk about how lost they are in life, how they don't know what else to do, or maybe even mention wanting to kill themselves, but choose to keep getting up every morning, to be met with praise for continuing to live all while everything they've been through is ignored, or their struggles being completely downplayed and people are only focused on them choosing to live.

You're praising someone for choosing to put themselves in more emotional hardship and psychological damage because they feel obligated to live for several reasons influenced by society's indifference to mental health and quality of life and the extreme aversion of making a choice when it comes to living or dying on one's own terms and the right to death if someone chooses.

It's giving, "Thanks for taking on the optional burden of life and continuing to live or else I'd be really sad because I want you to live so you can make ME happy!", or "Thanks for not killing yourself! That'd really make me/my company look bad."

You can give valid reasons for self harming or being suicidal, and they'll tell you to keep living or to find another coping skill all while knowing they don't have anything to offer to make your quality of life better besides medication and therapy. Which is unlikely to work or do anything, those can change your outlook on life and your mood, but those can't change your situation or living environment. Even if it does in some cases, that's extremely rare and unlikely, it all depends on several factors.

 

[annointed_towers]

I think people confuse "life is precious" and "life is a gift" and "life is beautiful" with everyone's life being those things. Often spoken from a place where their lives have been those things, or bearable enough, the ratio enough in favor, that they may genuinely believe that life is bearable and worth it and precious.

There are some things I like about life. Not many, though. Not enough people i like, either, and not enough people who like me. And virtually none who really love me, except maybe my parents and a friend or two, and even then my relationships with them are not unambiguously good and healthy.

The things I do like, I don't find so compelling and amazing and fulfilling that I need to do them for years and years, an entire lifetime, however many years until my natural death.

And my pain and disability has prevented me from enjoying even those things. And prevented me entirely from doing other things I enjoyed, and finding other things I might enjoy, had my life unfolded in a way where I still had my health, had money, ability, capacity, etc.

I can't make a life worth living out of little things. I don't even get to experience the little things that often, or without the veil of extreme nerve pain on top of it, or experiencing everything through the lens of guilt and regret, rumination, how things were or could have been. Everything is loaded with some parallel life I'm not living, didn't get to live. Or lived for a moment before it was taken away.

After a while, living for a the little things becomes sort of insulting. Like, be grateful you have this at all. You could have even less. Show appreciation for your tiny consolation prizes, that over time seem like taunts, like evidence that you're a loser, a failure, reminders that you're trying to make a life out of, I don't know. A cup of tea, hearing birds outside, seeing a tree, a song. Something nice to eat. While others have fuller lives, and in which those things are incidentals, if they are even noticed at all, let alone appreciated. And yet for some it becomes the stuff a life must be made out of.

Life is precious, or was to me, even when I didn't like it, even when it hurt me and disappointed me and made me sad. I still see things to love about it, about people, despite all.

But now, I don't see it the same way. I see it as endurance, as burden. I don't see it as a gift, I don't see my life as worth continuing, and I don't expect someone happy with their life, satisfied with it or at least content with it overall to understand or validate or affirm to me or people in this situation that I'm right to feel this way.

I don't extrapolate my experience and make it some universal. I don't say "see, and therefore life is not precious, therefore life is evil, should never have happened, should stop being perpetuated."

My experience doesn't invalidate someone else's.

The difference is, I'm not trying to bring someone down, I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should feel.

Just how I feel.

I'm not building an existential philosophy based on it.

Just adding a data point to the chart of human experience, which I think is more ambiguous and less enthusiastically in support of "life is a gift" and "life is beautiful" than gets acknowledged.

People forget that quality of life matters, not just life itself for the sake of life. I'm not some vessel that exists so life may exist through me, and I must stay alive so that life can live.

I'm a person, not a conduit. I'm not subordinate to some concept of life, some Sherpa of life I'm now responsible for that I didn't ask for in the first place.

If my quality of life is not good, I don't owe life my continued endurance until it's done with me

 

[ForMeanGhosts]

If it somehow makes you feel better, they are litterally programmed to think and feel this way.

Unless heavily forced to face despair, basically all humans have this innate belief that life is worth it no matter what, like a zero sum game where death is -infinity and any living is better.

But I think it isn't really anyone's fault things are like this. That doesn't mean it makes it feel any better overall, but maybe it helps a bit.

 

[Pluto]

 

[itsgone2]

Life is not a gift. It's not precious either. Not for some of us anyway.
We should have peaceful options.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Life is meaningless and not everyone is asked to be here. No one wants to be here. Unless you're a fucking spoon fill normie, where your life is perfect and nothing goes wrong, and you have a wonderful support circle that lifts you up when you're down. Not everyone has that. In fact, there are a lot of people who don't. I'm a 44 year old man, I lost my mother and wife and father. I have nobody in my life that loves me. And it's hard to find a reason to keep going. I'm not licensed to carry because of my mental disabilities. So I can't have a gun. Because if I did, I probably would have already fucked off by now. So it's best that I don't own one, I suppose. But literally, what is there these days? All is social media and fucking attention seeking posts you see online. YouTube videos are just crap all around. There's nothing interesting or exciting these days. It's all just trash. And when we're dealing with our own inner war, there's nothing that helps it. I believe in copes like alcohol and drugs, but they can be abused and make you worse off than you were prior to. I get that. But moderation, I think it's okay. People can't even take two minutes out of their day if they actually did give a shit and write you to make sure you're okay, or give you a call for about five minutes to see how you are. See, when I was growing up, we did that stuff. We didn't have stupid social media. I fucking hate social media and cell phones because those are the reasons a lot of people are lonely. If you don't meet the criteria of what society holds standard, you're fucked. You might as well just pack up your shit and catch the bus. Because no one's gonna give a fuck about you, especially if you're a guy. Holy shit. No one gives a damn when a guy is suffering only when women do, and it makes me so fucking angry. You can say I'm a misogynist, and it's because of that reason. I won't hate you if you're a legitimately good person, however. People who hold their high ego bullshit, though, I can't stand people like you. That goes for both genders. I'm not playing the lefty game here either. No one has to be here, and no one is destined for greatness, and that's all I gotta say.

 

[HNR_]

Like I said in another thread, I think it's a mix of, both, that, and how institutions/governments have suicide hotlines, shrinks, mental hospitals etc just so people can keep contributing to society (read make money) otherwise, people wouldn't have to pay for any of the aforementioned established ways of helping out suicidal people
When there's a transaction in the way of that "help" however, it comes across as inherently predatory

Not that what I'm saying applies to everyone of course, I'm sure it helped people live wonderful lives after they've received the help they needed but treating everyone the same way isn't the way to go

 

[sweetdecadance77]

Like I said in another thread, I think it's a mix of, both, that, and how institutions/governments have suicide hotlines, shrinks, mental hospitals etc just so people can keep contributing to society (read make money) otherwise, people wouldn't have to pay for any of the aforementioned established ways of helping out suicidal people
When there's a transaction in the way of that "help" however, it comes across as inherently predatory

Not that what I'm saying applies to everyone of course, I'm sure it helped people live wonderful lives after they've received the help they needed but treating everyone the same way isn't the way to go

exactly true. its dehumanizing how the standards of professional help and institutions only exist to force us to stay alive so we can get back to our 9 to 5 later. cant make money and have a booming economy if everybody kills themselves !!!! think of the children !! the community !!!

 

[CleanGopher]

I will never understand why would you tell a suicidal person to "keep going", especially after hearing their valid reasons for wanting to die. It's like you're ignoring their quality of life and only want them to live because you think every problem is temporary or can be fixed. Yeah, life is precious, which why it shouldn't be forced upon someone with a poor quality of it.

I don't think anyone can fathom how fucking emotionally and psychologically damaging for someone talk about how lost they are in life, how they don't know what else to do, or maybe even mention wanting to kill themselves, but choose to keep getting up every morning, to be met with praise for continuing to live all while everything they've been through is ignored, or their struggles being completely downplayed and people are only focused on them choosing to live.

You're praising someone for choosing to put themselves in more emotional hardship and psychological damage because they feel obligated to live for several reasons influenced by society's indifference to mental health and quality of life and the extreme aversion of making a choice when it comes to living or dying on one's own terms and the right to death if someone chooses.

It's giving, "Thanks for taking on the optional burden of life and continuing to live or else I'd be really sad because I want you to live so you can make ME happy!", or "Thanks for not killing yourself! That'd really make me/my company look bad."

You can give valid reasons for self harming or being suicidal, and they'll tell you to keep living or to find another coping skill all while knowing they don't have anything to offer to make your quality of life better besides medication and therapy. Which is unlikely to work or do anything, those can change your outlook on life and your mood, but those can't change your situation or living environment. Even if it does in some cases, that's extremely rare and unlikely, it all depends on several factors.

 

[pony No.2]

What does this mean?

 

[CleanGopher]

What does this mean?

Just a gif to raise morales, positivity is the way I cope, so I try and spread it to help others too 3:

 

[pony No.2]

Just a gif to raise morales, positivity is the way I cope, so I try and spread it to help others too 3:

Ohhh thank you then. I had no idea

Life is not a gift. It's not precious either. Not for some of us anyway.
We should have peaceful options.

Yeah true. Whether or not if life is a gift depends on your circumstances in your life.