Venting The worst decision I made for someone else...

[ketzo.why]

I was on the verge of death as I took more than enough pills to overdose myself, saying my last goodbyes to the people that I somewhat cared for and, unfortunately enough, that someone is a friend, awake at that time, and expressed concerns about me... Urge me to go or contact a hospital, we went back and forth, me convincing that person thats a bad idea as I felt my body slowly numb. For me dying isn't really generally a bad thing but ofc im aware that it's also not a good thing either. As the moment I've been yearning for is finally here, my body just picks up my phone dials 911, and makes a decision, choosing someone else over me... (I was later found unconscious, overdosing on pills.) I woke up in a hospital without being able to move my body properly, and in the upcoming month, I was also not able to walk. I was then transferred to a psychiatric hospital because of the suicidal ideation. My parents are called as I was brought to the hospital to inform them (the thing is my parents really dont believe in this kind of stuff as I was born in a country that don't really take that into account yet and there's still alot of stigma around it. My parents didn't take this seriously as they also deeply religious and blamed me for everything as yah probably can tell I didn't really have a good relationship with my family as they didn't really understand me, there was this massive disconnect of me to everyone else...) as I stayed in the psychiatric hospital it didn't really help me deal with everything, i been there for a month or 2, the constant eyes on me and the constant constraints its choking. My worst fear has come true: this thing that's "wrong" with me has finally made me a captive, and trying to even attempt cant free me, I've been in constant hell. I have been transferred to a mental hospital where I've been coming in and out. What I called home can't even be called that anymore, what was once my room is a condiments for me to be locked in check, and the friend that I choose cut all ties with me... Im alone, with my mind and my body that suffered permanent damage, torturing me from inside.
...
I'm in constant pain.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

That sucks. He wasn't a real friend apparently. But in all fairness, he did try to help and expecting someone to deal with something like that is a lot to ask.

Also, from what I have observed, it seems like posts that are broken up into paragraph's get more responses.