Actually, you may not have. I'm starting to understand the point that you have been trying to make, and I was looking at what you were saying from a different perspective. So it appeared as a contradiction.
Well, first you said "Good people don't keep their head above water by pushing others down, they drown."
and then you said, "If anyone is in my way. I believe they should be 6 feet under."
But you also said, "But many people think stepping on others to reach higher isn't good. :("
So what I'm making of everything at this point is that you are basing your life off the "morality" of the general population? And therefore saying you feel undeserving of happiness? If that is the case, I think you need to become God the Moralist. Fuck what other people think about whether or not you eat meat, or what clothes you want to wear. And if someone is being an asshole, stepping on your toes, getting in your way....squash them. They had it coming. That does not make you a bad person at all. You deserve happiness. And so does the asshole who you squashed. There's a difference between deserving suffering/punishment for your actions and being worthy of happiness. Everyone gets what is coming to them eventually. But they still deserve to be happy... They are human. That is not to say there are not people out there who deserve to suffer forever, but with most people this is not the case.
They were a rude, disrespectful asshole who stepped on you......so you stepped on them back. Sounds like a fair trade. They had it coming, so it balances out. Where's the problem?
