It started in July, when I was terminated from a good-paying job…they said my inability to stand for 8 hours uninterrupted meant I couldn't do the job, fired me for cause, & denied me unemployment. So I did what I always do when I'm unemployed, I raided my mutual fund.
By September I was so desperate for work I took a "commission based" position in financial sales. After commuting every day in September & October, & making all of $101 for the two months together, it was no longer feasible. So I resigned, and with nothing left in the mutual fund, took a work from home position with another financial sales firm promising "base + commission." I made $200 for all of November, was furloughed for December, & at 6 AM on Christmas Day, my employer called to announce he was closing the business.
I couldn't make January rent & started selling my furniture so I could afford food. None of my friends offered to take me in. One of my friends owes me $3000, knows I'm in financial ruin & facing homelessness, & still refuses to repay me. She says she loves me, but hearing me say I don't even have soap to wash myself doesn't inspire her to pay me back. With "love" like that, it's easy to want to leave this world.
My landlady demanded my clothes, furniture, & money from my father's estate. In response, I attempted to kill myself by washing down pills with eyedrops containing Tetrahydrozoline. I was unsuccessful, spent a week at an inpatient psychiatric facility where I was diagnosed as bipolar 1 at 46 years old, and none of my friends noticed that I was MIA for a week.
Squatting in the apartment with no furniture, no job, no money, going days at a time without seeing another human being, I am depressed to the point where I no longer want to live. Since getting out of the hospital, I've been researching different, hopefully better, ways to end my life.
By September I was so desperate for work I took a "commission based" position in financial sales. After commuting every day in September & October, & making all of $101 for the two months together, it was no longer feasible. So I resigned, and with nothing left in the mutual fund, took a work from home position with another financial sales firm promising "base + commission." I made $200 for all of November, was furloughed for December, & at 6 AM on Christmas Day, my employer called to announce he was closing the business.
I couldn't make January rent & started selling my furniture so I could afford food. None of my friends offered to take me in. One of my friends owes me $3000, knows I'm in financial ruin & facing homelessness, & still refuses to repay me. She says she loves me, but hearing me say I don't even have soap to wash myself doesn't inspire her to pay me back. With "love" like that, it's easy to want to leave this world.
My landlady demanded my clothes, furniture, & money from my father's estate. In response, I attempted to kill myself by washing down pills with eyedrops containing Tetrahydrozoline. I was unsuccessful, spent a week at an inpatient psychiatric facility where I was diagnosed as bipolar 1 at 46 years old, and none of my friends noticed that I was MIA for a week.
Squatting in the apartment with no furniture, no job, no money, going days at a time without seeing another human being, I am depressed to the point where I no longer want to live. Since getting out of the hospital, I've been researching different, hopefully better, ways to end my life.
