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Venting The weight of my promise

theblueveil

theblueveil

Rock bottom; still I keep falling.
Jul 15, 2024
13
The weight of my promise is crushing me. I used to console myself with knowing that the end was near; that once my sister was grown I could finally relieve my pain. Now I must keep my promise. The years of my life that sprawl ahead of me are unfathomable, I can't even wrap my brain around the lifetime of relentless suffering I have ahead of me. Some nights I pray that God will take me in my sleep. Some nights I have prayed that God would take my beloved away from me, so that I might fulfil my promise and finally kill myself. I don't think I would even make it to his funeral. I would be gone before then.

Tonight I will pray that I hit rock bottom, so that I can take comfort in knowing I cannot fall any further.
 
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