The web and the desire to fit in useless communities has ruined my life

[CPY]

It's almost funny to say it but my life has been ruined by my desire to know and fit in

I always wanted to master something to be able to say I'm an expert in this or that field, but I don't really fit in anywhere.Especially when it comes to technology, I always identified myself as "the one who's good at tech" but there is just so much to learn in tech and I don't even want to pursue it as career but I feel compelled to learn about all this very advanced topics like programming, Linux etc just to try to fit in somewhere, look cool on the internet or just being ok with myself

It also happens with other things like movies or anime.I always feel like I'm left behind and don't really fit in with the community

This might sound like incoherent rambling but I really do suffer for this, my life has literally been ruined, i live in a constant anxious state because my brain thinks I'm behind everyone, and over the years this has turned into reality: I'm 26 almost, no job, no anything I've been neet since I left high school but I'm not the kind of neet that enjoys it because the internet gives me anxiety I don't really fit in with any community on the web

I can't bring myself to get past this even though know this doesn't really mean anything in real life

I really hope someone somewhere in this forum experiencing something similar can give me some guidance

 

[Captain laser]

honestly i dont know either i feel completely lost online as well the only advice i can give is the sort of thing that has been said a million times, and frankly i need to follow it as well, pick up some sort of hobby, preferably that doesnt involve a screen, i occasionaly do watercolor landscapes and a bit of japanese calligraphy, its not like it cures my depression but its a small bit of enjoyment.
unfortunately i have no advice for feeling like you dont belong online, those communities are broad and imense and ive only ever done well with small groups.