Venting the universe is against me ctb

[meowzers3276]

between getting the wrong chemical in a naive search for DSL (im kind of laughing about it), the girl i was going to get high potency opiate from getting raided by cops, and now being exhausted of resources it feels like the universe is just trying to make this as difficult or humiliating of a process as possible. plus i'm in a long term relationship and it's been causing trouble because i've had to hide things on my phone such as using sasu more often & searching up methods on my own, and having to constantly delete it and hide my notifications. i'm also a bad liar and also constantly in thought of ways i can aquire things or find methods to ctb and how to hide the fact im planning ctb from the person im constantly around. honestly, the pressure and rush of having to scramble to find a for-sure ctb lined up is making me feel so stressed and get even more depressed. i'm just hoping things turn around for me and i'm at least able to get my hands on a high potency opiate and maybe i can find a way to make it harder to be found so no one can revive me. i dont really know why im posting this lol!! thanks for reading if you did

 

[telekon]

it doesn't sound like the universe is against you, it sounds like it's trying to save you

 

[d4isy]

i'm in the same boat. i can't even find a goddamn anchor point for my rope. and i don't even know if my rope's good enough for fsh!! i only have two options currently: plastic bag suffocation and bathtub drowning. that's it. maybe drowning in a lake but there's a high risk of being seen. i hate that i'm trapped here i just wanna die that's all i want.

 

[meowzers3276]

i'm in the same boat. i can't even find a goddamn anchor point for my rope. and i don't even know if my rope's good enough for fsh!! i only have two options currently: plastic bag suffocation and bathtub drowning. that's it. maybe drowning in a lake but there's a high risk of being seen. i hate that i'm trapped here i just wanna die that's all i want.

it's so frustrating, and the load of thought it takes to plan makes me want to die even more!!!! i already got a body bag i was going to die in so no one has to clean up my mess. i have everything ready besides the things that actually matter! im considering weighing myself down & taking benzos since thats all i can get. i live right by the ocean so might as well use it. i just wish that ethical and voluntary end of life care services were available so we wouldn't have to resort to this. i wish you the best !!

 

[d4isy]

i just wish that ethical and voluntary end of life care services were available so we wouldn't have to resort to this. i wish you the best !!

god, me too!! like why do i have zero say in whether *i* live or die? it should be my choice alone. none of us asked to be born and we should be given the option to leave on our own terms and peacefully at that.

thank you btw and likewise <3