The twee of ‘what keeps you going”

[darkenmydoorstep]

I have to laugh morbidly whenever I hear "what keeps you going?"
Is it not obvious that for so many of us it's literally a lack of safe, reliable means of ending it. That's it.
I wonder how many people would still be here if death were simple as switching off an engine.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

Death is looking pretty simple for me these days, just put on my exit bag hood turn on the gas, breathe it in, pass out while breathing it, and die. I don't know if I can wait until October, my set month for this, because I'm beginning to see how much more I'm worthless. Like nobody really cares about me, for me to make an exit thread. Why should I even leave a note? I'm not telling my friend I'm leaving. All these things make it so much easier.

 

[Akashaaa]

I don't fear death, but I do fear what lies after it. The hell/heaven dynamic I lack faith in, however, I do believe in a form of reincarnation.

I have lived a very shameful, selfish, and generally evil life, and this is despite me being well off materially.

If karma exists, I'm almost certainly going to be born into an even more wretched existence. It's a terrifying prospect.

 

[TBONTB]

I have to laugh morbidly whenever I hear "what keeps you going?"
Is it not obvious that for so many of us it's literally a lack of safe, reliable means of ending it. That's it.
I wonder how many people would still be here if death were simple as switching off an engine.

That's the thing...I think a lot of people have enough bad days to "turn off the engine". The bar has to be a little higher than that IMO.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Death is looking pretty simple for me these days, just put on my exit bag hood turn on the gas, breathe it in, pass out while breathing it, and die. I don't know if I can wait until October, my set month for this, because I'm beginning to see how much more I'm worthless. Like nobody really cares about me, for me to make an exit thread. Why should I even leave a note? I'm not telling my friend I'm leaving. All these things make it so much easier.

I thought it was quite hard to do with gas these days because they'd taken something out of it or something in more recent years, at least in the UK. Maybe I have misunderstood.

I don't fear death, but I do fear what lies after it. The hell/heaven dynamic I lack faith in, however, I do believe in a form of reincarnation.

I have lived a very shameful, selfish, and generally evil life, and this is despite me being well off materially.

If karma exists, I'm almost certainly going to be born into an even more wretched existence. It's a terrifying prospect.

I thought it was quite hard to do with gas these days because they'd taken something out of it or something in more recent years, at least in the UK. Maybe I have misunderstood.

I thought it was quite hard to do with gas these days because they'd taken something out of it or something in more recent years, at least in the UK. Maybe I have misunderstood.

I don't fear death, but I do fear what lies after it. The hell/heaven dynamic I lack faith in, however, I do believe in a form of reincarnation.

I have lived a very shameful, selfish, and generally evil life, and this is despite me being well off materially.

If karma exists, I'm almost certainly going to be born into an even more wretched existence. It's a terrifying prospect.

Yes I get that but if a hell exists I'm probably going anyway for an abortion I had years ago. Way I see it, I'm only postponing whatever is inevitable.

 

[TBONTB]

Death is looking pretty simple for me these days, just put on my exit bag hood turn on the gas, breathe it in, pass out while breathing it, and die. I don't know if I can wait until October, my set month for this, because I'm beginning to see how much more I'm worthless. Like nobody really cares about me, for me to make an exit thread. Why should I even leave a note? I'm not telling my friend I'm leaving. All these things make it so much easier.

I'm sorry you are so abandoned.

 

[otoyikim]

I have to laugh morbidly whenever I hear "what keeps you going?"
Is it not obvious that for so many of us it's literally a lack of safe, reliable means of ending it. That's it.
I wonder how many people would still be here if death were simple as switching off an engine.

I know it's a very cliché answer but it is my parents. I live with my mother, my father and my grandmother the people i am worried the most for are my father and my grandmother. My grandmother is turning 80 in a couple of weeks and my father had a heart attack this year. If i kill myself it might send them over the edge with me. I am also worried for my mother because when she saw be being sad for so long it was probably the first time i saw her cry in years. I want to die but i don't want to have my family destroy themselves in the procces either.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I hear you. I don't think there's ever a 'good time', a bit like having a baby.

But it's sweet that you're considering them and looking to ease the burden of potential grief.

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly is for me and I always suffer so much from how I cannot just access that as all I want is to never suffer in this futile, torturous existence ever again, I just wish for peace from the dreadful and cruel burden of existence that I always saw as a mistake and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, non-existence is all that's positive and desirable for me, I'd never wish for the suffering of existing.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

It certainly is for me and I always suffer so much from how I cannot just access that as all I want is to never suffer in this futile, torturous existence ever again, I just wish for peace from the dreadful and cruel burden of existence that I always saw as a mistake and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, non-existence is all that's positive and desirable for me, I'd never wish for the suffering of existing.

Yes I know you have been on this forum a long time. I know you are in deep emotional pain x

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sure you're right. Do you suppose there would be a great many impulsive or ill thought out attempts if it truly was like flicking a switch though?

I do on the one hand think that the choice to suicide should be well thought out. I suppose being faced with brutal methods or, multiple hoops of fire to obtain (relatively) peaceful methods is one hell of a hurdle to get over. So, a 'natural' stop of impulsive attempts. Not to say I do agree with all of it of course. I personally think we should have access to peaceful assisted suicide but have systems in place to prevent impulsive atttempts and murder.

I suppose it also depends on what value you place on life and, what you believe about the afterlife though. Very little about this world even matters to me now. It won't matter that I've wiped out my potential because ultimately, it comes down to me working my arse off to make rich people richer. I'm tired of playing that f*cking game! I'm also getting sick of the requirement to stay for others. (Unless the person is a parent. Then, I do tend to think they created that responsibility for themselves.)

But, individually speaking, does it matter at what time in life we die, if we no longer exist afterwards? It's not like we can look back and regret the decision. So yeah, I'm always of two minds on impulsive attempts. I wonder how many even are that impulsive. I think it's more that this world doesn't really want to hear that people are struggling. I think an awful lot of people just hide it to avoid being shunned, having their liberty taken away etc.