I am a big Juice WRLD and Lil Peep fan also because of this forum. I enjoy listening to both of them a lot. Sad music eases my manic agitation a little bit.
I currently struggle a lot mentally. Maybe I am forced to commit suicide soon. I try to postpone it. I am close to a mental breakdown. My psychiatrist said well increase the addictive medication because I cannot cope with the college stress anymore. I could become pretty pretty hard when I relapse. The fragility of my mom's health made suicide way harder. I am so trapped. All I can do is postpone the demise as long as possible.
I think a lot about suicide recently. Even more than usual. The pressure on my shoulders is completely bonecrushing and inhuman.
Here are some songs I like a lot:
Better off (dying) - Lil Peep
Nineteen - Lil Peep
Crybaby - Lil Peep (my first Peep song)
Awful things - Lil Peep
more Lil Peep songs: Star shopping, Hellboy, Suck my blood, Runaway, U said, Live forever (maybe not for my suicide lol), Falling down (when I was very suicidal some months ago this was the song for my suicide). Life is Beautiful, Lil Kennedy, Benz Truck (not for my suicide maybe), I crash you crash
Some Juice WRLD songs: Used and abused, Wishing well (my first Juice song), Fast life, Fast, Fighting demons, Flaws and sins/From my window (maybe not for my suicide), Don't love me, Real love, Without my lean
So why do I like them? They capture my sadness and melancholia pretty good. I am always very depressed in the evening and these songs can comfort me. I am not the only one in mental anguish. They are so sad and beautiful at the same time. They are kind of bittersweet. And sometimes I think life is bitterweet. There are some things I can somehwhat enjoy - if I could have a good life I would like to have it. I work hard for it. But it seems to be unreachable for me. There are things that can relieve my pain a little bit. Describing and expressing my pain is like a valve. There is some beauty in that. Moreover these artists died pretty young, And if I kill myself soon I will also be quite young. They had a way different approach to life. They wanted to have a fast and thrilling life. I always wanted to have a calm and steady one. But now I am in a pretty messy one. There is a lot of stress and I have to cope with medication. In contrast to them I am not abusing them but I can kind of relate why they express their love for benzos lol. It would be kind of sad to die so young without ever been truely happy. However these two also died pretty prematurely without reaching some of their goals. Peep often described he wanted to die. For example in Better of (dying). I think he captures my ambivalence on life pretty good. There are some parts of life which seem to be interesting. At the same I wish I would die in my sleep because I struggle so much on a daily basis.
I currently struggle a lot mentally. Maybe I am forced to commit suicide soon. I try to postpone it. I am close to a mental breakdown. My psychiatrist said well increase the addictive medication because I cannot cope with the college stress anymore. I could become pretty pretty hard when I relapse. The fragility of my mom's health made suicide way harder. I am so trapped. All I can do is postpone the demise as long as possible.
I think a lot about suicide recently. Even more than usual. The pressure on my shoulders is completely bonecrushing and inhuman.
Here are some songs I like a lot:
Better off (dying) - Lil Peep
Nineteen - Lil Peep
Crybaby - Lil Peep (my first Peep song)
Awful things - Lil Peep
more Lil Peep songs: Star shopping, Hellboy, Suck my blood, Runaway, U said, Live forever (maybe not for my suicide lol), Falling down (when I was very suicidal some months ago this was the song for my suicide). Life is Beautiful, Lil Kennedy, Benz Truck (not for my suicide maybe), I crash you crash
Some Juice WRLD songs: Used and abused, Wishing well (my first Juice song), Fast life, Fast, Fighting demons, Flaws and sins/From my window (maybe not for my suicide), Don't love me, Real love, Without my lean
So why do I like them? They capture my sadness and melancholia pretty good. I am always very depressed in the evening and these songs can comfort me. I am not the only one in mental anguish. They are so sad and beautiful at the same time. They are kind of bittersweet. And sometimes I think life is bitterweet. There are some things I can somehwhat enjoy - if I could have a good life I would like to have it. I work hard for it. But it seems to be unreachable for me. There are things that can relieve my pain a little bit. Describing and expressing my pain is like a valve. There is some beauty in that. Moreover these artists died pretty young, And if I kill myself soon I will also be quite young. They had a way different approach to life. They wanted to have a fast and thrilling life. I always wanted to have a calm and steady one. But now I am in a pretty messy one. There is a lot of stress and I have to cope with medication. In contrast to them I am not abusing them but I can kind of relate why they express their love for benzos lol. It would be kind of sad to die so young without ever been truely happy. However these two also died pretty prematurely without reaching some of their goals. Peep often described he wanted to die. For example in Better of (dying). I think he captures my ambivalence on life pretty good. There are some parts of life which seem to be interesting. At the same I wish I would die in my sleep because I struggle so much on a daily basis.
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