The social workers I'm dealing with are faux-naïf and it blows my mind.

[BerryCakes]

Context: I'm homeless and currently staying at a shelter.

So! Today, my shelter, which primarily serves women, and has a overcrowded dorm where beds are right next to each other and there's zero privacy, decided it'd be a swell idea to let in some 16-year-old boy who's probably about six feet tall. Wonderful, just wonderful. As if being in a shelter doesn't already feel threatening enough as it is.

Look, I get that he's probably going through a hard time. I do! I really do. But if you want to keep a homeless family together, maybe! Just maybe! They should be put in one that focuses on families? That's mixed gendered and has different spaces for men and women? That has different rooms for each tenant? It's not like they don't exist! They do!

Males are stronger than females! Who fucking knew? Apparently, neither of the social workers I talked to! They acted like I was out of my fucking mind for having an issue. This one in particular kept saying "he's a wittle boi :c" when the dude fucking towers over LITERALLY EVERYONE there. 16-year-olds aren't children. At least not physically. Holy Hell.

Now I'm having to ask to move somewhere else. Even better, when I talked about potentially finding a pet-friendly shelter so that I can take the cat with me, this one woman tried to claim it was the shelter's cat. First of all, I was given permission by other staff to take her. Second of all, this cat was fucking chewing its skin off due to the amount of fleas and other parasites on it until I spent nearly $100 on meds for her. I mean! If you want to claim the cat is yours, then go ahead, because I'll be more than happy to get you investigated for animal abuse/neglect! You won't even give the damn thing a cat house to sleep in! You won't even give it food! Luckily, the worker could tell I would raise Hell over this cat, so they gave up, but FUCK. I can't believe this.

Just a word to anyone else out there struggling with poverty or homelessness: DON'T let social workers bully you, make you feel spoiled, or make you feel insane, because trust me, THEY WILL TRY if they think it'll make you shut up. You have to fight for yourself and anybody you love, because if you don't, you'll end up dead or worse. Don't take shit from these people.

 

[Spitfire]

That sucks you are homeless. Were you outside for awhile before getting in to the shelter? A rain box is a nice thing they should probably have in there for you at least anyway, and probably some food, and a few other people who can relate to you and your situation. A few good things.

The cat thing is awesome for you too!

 

[BipolarGuy]

Context: I'm homeless and currently staying at a shelter.

So! Today, my shelter, which primarily serves women, and has a overcrowded dorm where beds are right next to each other and there's zero privacy, decided it'd be a swell idea to let in some 16-year-old boy who's probably about six feet tall. Wonderful, just wonderful. As if being in a shelter doesn't already feel threatening enough as it is.

Look, I get that he's probably going through a hard time. I do! I really do. But if you want to keep a homeless family together, maybe! Just maybe! They should be put in one that focuses on families? That's mixed gendered and has different spaces for men and women? That has different rooms for each tenant? It's not like they don't exist! They do!

Males are stronger than females! Who fucking knew? Apparently, neither of the social workers I talked to! They acted like I was out of my fucking mind for having an issue. This one in particular kept saying "he's a wittle boi :c" when the dude fucking towers over LITERALLY EVERYONE there. 16-year-olds aren't children. At least not physically. Holy Hell.

Now I'm having to ask to move somewhere else. Even better, when I talked about potentially finding a pet-friendly shelter so that I can take the cat with me, this one woman tried to claim it was the shelter's cat. First of all, I was given permission by other staff to take her. Second of all, this cat was fucking chewing it's skin off due to the amount of fleas and other parasites on it until I spent nearly $100 on meds for her. I mean! If you want to claim the cat is yours, then go ahead, because I'll be more than happy to get you investigated for animal abuse/neglect! You won't even give the damn thing a cat house to sleep in! You won't even give it food! Luckily, the worker could tell I would raise Hell over this cat, so they gave up, but FUCK. I can't believe this.

Just a word to anyone else out there struggling with poverty or homelessness: DON'T let social workers bully you, make you feel spoiled, or make you feel insane, because trust me, THEY WILL TRY if they think it'll make you shut up. You have to fight for yourself and anybody you love, because if you don't, you'll end up dead or worse. Don't take shit from these people.

I don't know why some people who work in the public sector are like this.
I don't know if it's manipulation, bullying, or whatever.

I once had a psychologist who I had never met before tell me that if I complain again, she will have me sectioned!
Luckily I'm not easily intimidated.

 

[Ghost2211]

That's probably equally uncomfortable to the 16 year old. I doubt the boy will do anything in a crowded room. Do you have privet areas to change and use the bathroom?

 

[BerryCakes]

That's probably equally uncomfortable to the 16 year old. I doubt the boy will do anything in a crowded room. Do you have privet areas to change and use the bathroom?

To change? No, unless you count bathroom stalls. The bathroom is sorta like a locker room, just without the actual lockers, ahah.

 

[Ghost2211]

I can see how that would be awkward then, for everyone involved.

 

[rt1989526]

I can see why you're uncomfortable. I have always wondered how they deal with gender allocation in shelters. Is he the only male there? One point you made that I don't understand is what males being physically stronger than females have to do with this scenario? Do you mean you think he could harm you?

 

[BerryCakes]

I can see why you're uncomfortable. I have always wondered how they deal with gender allocation in shelters. Is he the only male there?Also I don't understand what males being physically stronger than females have to do with this scenario?

Some places have different dorm spaces for men and women to be separated. He's not the only male here, but he's def the only one that's above the age of 12.
I don't know what to say if you can't pick up on what I'm referring to. I couldn't even walk down the halls in high school without random boys trying to grab me. I know men don't understand the paranoia, but us women are only paranoid because we've had to deal with it already.

 

[rt1989526]

Some places have different dorm spaces for men and women to be separated. He's not the only male here, but he's def the only one that's above the age of 12.
I don't know what to say if you can't pick up on what I'm referring to. I couldn't even walk down the halls in high school without random boys trying to grab me. I know men don't understand the paranoia, but us women are only paranoid because we've had to deal with it already.

Ok I see what you're saying. Sorry I am not good at picking up on things I am socially inept.

 

[BerryCakes]

Ok I see what you're saying. Sorry I am not good at picking up on things I am socially inept.

Don't worry about it. I might be a bit defensive after having to deal with... certain people.......

 

[mooncake]

First let me say, that I am sorry to hear that you are homeless at the moment. Especially during a global pandemic! I'm so sorry, that you are in a place where you feel unsafe.

DON'T let social workers bully you, make you feel spoiled, or make you feel insane, because trust me, THEY WILL TRY if they think it'll make you shut up. You have to fight for yourself and anybody you love, because if you don't, you'll end up dead or worse. Don't take shit from these people.

I'm shocked at how you see social workers. And I don't mean to tell you, that your experiences aren't real. It's just sad to me, that you feel like you can't trust us right now.
I'm currently in school for social work (more than half way through) and I've worked in that field for a couple of years before starting uni. I have never encountered anyone in that profession, who wants to bully clients or make them feel dumb on purpose. So I find it a bit harsh to say that we WILL try to do that, as a general statement tbh. Most social workers I have met through work, school and being a client myself, are in that line of work to help people. It's a job that is emotionally exhausting, and doesn't pay well. Sometimes case will keep you up at night. The overwhelming majority of us are by no means sadistic.

But if you want to keep a homeless family together, maybe! Just maybe! They should be put in one that focuses on families? That's mixed gendered and has different spaces for men and women? That has different rooms for each tenant? It's not like they don't exist! They do!

Regarding the boy being placed in your dorm. That could simply be because of a lack of space due to Covid. I don't work with the homeless at the moment, but I have classmates that have been working in homeless shelters all throughout this pandemic. They have told me before how they had to tweak their housing concepts, to at least give some people a safe place to stay.

Males are stronger than females! Who fucking knew? Apparently, neither of the social workers I talked to! They acted like I was out of my fucking mind for having an issue. This one in particular kept saying "he's a wittle boi :c" when the dude fucking towers over LITERALLY EVERYONE there. 16-year-olds aren't children. At least not physically. Holy Hell.

A 16 year old IS NOT SAFE out on the streets, when grown adults aren't. Regardless of their hight. He needs to stay with his family and if there was no open slot in a family shelter (which was probably why your shelter took them in),there aren't many other options unfortunately.

I wasn't there for your conversations with the staff there, so I won't tell you, that you're wrong to feeling unheard or not taken seriously by them when expressing your discomfort with someone male in the same room. Sometimes we have to make an executive decision, that although they might not make everyone happy, the make sense objectively. I'm sure no one was exactly in this situation but they had to choose the lesser evil and that was you being uncomfortable, but probably not in danger, over a minor without shelter.
If I were the staff in that situation I would have asked, if he said or did anything to MAKE you uncomfortable in his presence. And if he did, there would have had to be other arrangement made to house him, were he wasn't a threat. If he didn't, technically, him being male, over 12 years old and tall doesn't by default make him dangerous. That's simply not enough to kick a minor out on the street.

As if being in a shelter doesn't already feel threatening enough as it is.

I totally get that there mostly likely are plenty of reasons, why you felt the way you did.
However to a professional, that isn't attached to your experiences, and who has already gotten a sense what the kids is like (through conversation), it's probably easier to access the risk from a more objective standpoint. Which is never an excuse to be insensitive towards any client though.
I would have hoped, they tried to work with you, to find an accommodation, where you could feel safer staying at in a sensitive way.

At the end of the day, minors deserve protection. Even though most counties consider people to be adults, capable of making their own decisions and being responsible for their own survival, at 18, that is the minimum age required. Before than, most governments agree, that people need to have a guardian to provide food, shelter, protection and affection. And as much as I feel for you discomfort, maybe even fear, I also feel for this kid who is homeless at 16 years old.

Now I'm having to ask to move somewhere else. Even better, when I talked about potentially finding a pet-friendly shelter so that I can take the cat with me, this one woman tried to claim it was the shelter's cat. First of all, I was given permission by other staff to take her.

The thing with the cat is so confusing. Why would one staff member allow you to take the shelter cat and another one denies you the cat? Do they not communicate between eachother?
And why do they have a shelter cat that doesn't get taken care of by the shelter?

This isn't meant as an attack btw and I hope you are safe wherever you are right now.

I don't know why some people who work in the public sector are like this.
I don't know if it's manipulation, bullying, or whatever.

I dont know if you mean the cat thing, but if mean mean housing, it's because often times our hand are tied. Who gets to stay in which shelter, as well how to handle overflow, is usually regulated by law. And not abiding by the laws can make a shelter vulnerable to loosing founding and having to close down. Therefore even less shelter for people in need. At least that what its what its like in Germany.

If you did mean the cat thing, then I can't give you an explanation lol. That was just plain wrong.

I once had a psychologist who I had never met before tell me that if I complain again, she will have me sectioned!
Luckily I'm not easily intimidated.

Sorry you made that experince

 

[BerryCakes]

First let me say, that I am sorry to hear that you are homeless at the moment. I'm sorry, that you are in a place where you feel unsafe.


I'm shocked at how you see social workers. And I don't mean to tell you, that your experiences aren't real. It's just sad to me, that you feel like you can't trust us right now.
I'm currently in school for social work (more than half way through) and I've worked in that field for a couple of years before starting uni. I have never encountered anyone in that profession, who wants to bully clients or make them feel dumb on purpose. So I find it a bit harsh to say that we WILL try to do that, as a general statement tbh. Most social workers I have met through work, school and being a client myself, are in that line of work to help people. It's a job that is emotionally exhausting, and doesn't pay well. Sometimes case will keep you up at night. The overwhelming majority of us are by no means sadistic.


Regarding the boy being placed in your dorm. That could simply be because of a lack of space due to Covid. I don't work with the homeless at the moment, but I have classmates that have been working in homeless shelters all throughout this pandemic. They have told me before how they had to tweak their housing concepts, to at least give some people a safe place to stay.


A 16 year old IS NOT SAFE out on the streets, when grown adults aren't. Regardless of their hight. He needs to stay with his family and if there was no open slot in a family shelter (which was probably why your shelter took them in),there aren't many other options unfortunately.

I wasn't there for your conversations with the staff there, so I won't tell you, that you're wrong to feeling unheard or not taken seriously by them when expressing your discomfort with someone male in the same room. Sometimes we have to make an executive decision, that although they might not make everyone happy, the make sense objectively. I'm sure no one was exactly in this situation but they had to choose the lesser evil and that was you being uncomfortable, but probably not in danger, over a minor without shelter.
If I were the staff in that situation I would have asked, if he said or did anything to MAKE you uncomfortable in his presence. And if he did, there would have had to be other arrangement made to house him, were he wasn't a threat. If he didn't, technically, him being male, over 12 years old and tall doesn't by default make him dangerous. That's simply not enough to kick a minor out on the street.


I totally get that there mostly likely are plenty of reasons, why you felt the way you did.
However to a professional, that isn't attached to your experiences, and who has already gotten a sense what the kids is like (through conversation), it's probably easier to access the risk from a more objective standpoint. Which is never an excuse to be insensitive towards any client though.
I would have hoped, they tried to work with you, to find an accommodation, where you could feel safer staying at in a sensitive way.

At the end of the day, minors deserve protection. Even though most counties consider people to be adults, capable of making their own decisions and being responsible for their own survival, at 18, that is the minimum age required. Before than, most governments agree, that people need to have a guardian to provide food, shelter, protection and affection. And as much as I feel for you discomfort, maybe even fear, I also feel for this kid who is homeless at 16 years old.


The thing with the cat is so confusing. Why would one staff member allow you to take the shelter cat and another one denies you the cat? Do they not communicate between eachother?
And why do they have a shelter cat that doesn't get taken care of by the shelter?

This isn't meant as an attack btw and I hope you are safe wherever you are right now.


I dont know if you mean the cat thing, but if mean mean housing, it's because often times our hand are tied. Who gets to stay in which shelter, as well how to handle overflow, is usually regulated by law. And not abiding by the laws can make a shelter vulnerable to loosing founding and having to close down. Therefore even less shelter for people in need. At least that what its what its like in Germany.

If you did mean the cat thing, then I can't give you an explanation lol. That was just plain wrong.


Sorry you made that experince

I really wish you didn't type out this whole essay. I know you're likely just trying to help, and I appreciate that, but this comment doesn't help me see things differently when my real life experiences beg to differ. I doubt social workers in different sectors are all that similar, anyways. I live in the USA and deal with workers who help the homeless. I'm not a kid in Germany.

I can't say I appreciate you downplaying my fears, either. This "kid" has other options than the street.

 

[tidalwxves]

I appreciate you sharing what your experience has been like, have you considered making a social media account that is more public to raise awareness of these issues? I feel like you have a strong voice. Wishing you well and once again please let us know if there is anyway we can support.

 

[rt1989526]

This "kid" has other options than the street.

What are they? I'm trying to understand why he shouldn't be there.

Can you ask to be moved to another section around females only?

 

[BerryCakes]

What are they? I'm trying to understand why he shouldn't be there.

Can you ask to be moved to another section around females only?

Uh... see, here's the thing... this is supposed to be a women's shelter. Hence the problem. There is no "female only" section. Technically, the whole place should be, but hey. I can't even escape social workers trying to gaslight me on SS, so what do I know?

 

[rt1989526]

Uh... see, here's the thing... this is supposed to be a women's shelter. Hence the problem. There is no "female only" section. Technically, the whole place should be, but hey. I can't even escape social workers trying to gaslight me on SS, so what do I know?

Ahh shit I didn't realize it was a strictly women's only shelter. Disregard my question.

 

[inactive]

Yikes. That is more than unacceptable as far as safety goes.

You clearly recognise that you deserve better than this and that is excellent. Keep fighting, OP. Not that you should have to :(

 

[The Abyss]

The guy is obviously a rapist, he should freeze to death on the streets.

 

[BerryCakes]

The guy is obviously a rapist, he should freeze to death on the streets.

Based.
I love when ignorant men throw in their two cents about women rightfully feeling fearful for their safety. I've seen men on 4chan act more understanding than you, lol.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's good that this social worker backed off about the cat at least. If you spent that much on it, then you basically do own it at that point. People spend less on just adopting them so I'd say that by now this one is rightfully yours.

As a guy myself...16 is definitely old enough to not be in such a private space around women. Most men are in the middle of puberty already at that point and the potential for something really bad to happen is pretty high. The fact it's a women's-only shelter also makes it even more crazy that he was allowed there in the first place. I don't have much experience in living in any shelters but hopefully this gets resolved for you. Do they have any superiors you can talk to? This might be the perfect time to become a Karen about it when you and potentially other women are in actual danger.

 

[Panna]

Except nothings happened, he's not a rapist, and he's not going to run around murdering women. Can't stand when folks run around slandering men without proof of their specific wrong doing. If he tried to assault you, or someone there that's one thing, but if he's there because of overcrowding with other nearby shelters, or some other reason that you're not considering, then i'd say you're being far too harsh. I'd assume if they had space elsewhere, him and his family would be relocated.

 

[BerryCakes]

Except nothings happened, he's not a rapist, and he's not going to run around murdering women. Can't stand when folks run around slandering men without proof of their specific wrong doing. If he tried to assault you, or someone there that's one thing, but if he's there because of overcrowding with other nearby shelters, or some other reason that you're not considering, then i'd say you're being far too harsh.

Ahh, are you one of those types? Do you think men and women should share public bathrooms, too? How about locker rooms? How about dressing rooms, hmm? Does that sound good? Heck, why not prisons! Clearly, this type of thing DOESN'T MATTER unless the guy has already done something wrong! Let's just fucking get rid of the concept of gender-exclusive spaces altogether. Who cares? Not you, apparently!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@BerryCakes, I really applaud your self-advocacy and strength. You definitely need it.

I've worked in community mental health with social workers, and I've seen how the environment can change someone with the best of intentions into someone who sees the client as less than, who doesn't know their own self, and even as an adversary.

I've also been the recipient of social services. I've been in DV shelters. I lived in transitional women's housing for a year and a half. At one point later on I walked into a homeless shelter and was able to walk back out, I had enough of a cushion for a short time to ride out a bad situation and get into a better one, but the environment at that shelter and the way the employees treated the residents, I knew I was going to be as miserable with the staff as with the residents. In all of these social services environments, it's always the staff against those they serve, and those they serve against the staff; sometimes it's not egregious, sometimes it is.

In the transitional housing, run by a huge non-profit organization, the staff were run down by their interactions with residents, you know what shelter residents can be like. But it was clear they had crossed a line where they bunched us all together as being of the same mentality, all immature, all trying to take, all being either criminal or having personality disorders. The main point of contact at the front desk treated us like we were her personal soap opera to watch, she would provoke reactions, she would do favors and yet talk down, she would ask what was in our mail just because she was nosy, and she had horrible, horrible boundaries. Honestly, she would have fit in as resident herself, she was as personality disordered as any resident. But of course when I complained about very real issues with her, I was just a complainer, and I had more education, customer service experience and social service experience than all of the employees with the exception of the director, who kept total distance from us and spent all of her efforts on funders and none on the residents. I may sound to some like I'm bitter, but I've had experience on both sides of the desk and I know exactly what I'm talking about. The social services system in the US is inherently sick.

I can imagine the impact it's having on a bunch of women to have a huge young man share such intimate quarters. I'm sure all or most all of the women there have experienced abuse, including sexual abuse. It's just creepy, wrong, and downright predatory to put him with you all. I would share a personal experience I had at a DV shelter, but one relevant detail that I can't get around not sharing would lead to this thread getting locked. So all I can say is, I understand how destabilizing this is for you and for the group. Like y'all don't have enough fucked up boundary issues among each other, now they have to throw a young man into the mix. Fuck that.

Stay strong. Don't let these folks gaslight you. I hope you get whatever support and healthy opportunities you need to eventually be able to have your own place and take care of your own self, because social services don't take very good care of people. They can easily do as much harm as good, if not more harm.

 

[Panna]

I think that both sides, need their privacy, however when it comes to desperate times, especially in this already hard enough year, everyone should try and sacrifice for the good of everyone involved. Making things harder for someone due to reasons they can't control is pretty petty. It's not like he asked to be put in a space with only women. I know if it was me, i'd rather sleep outside since I wouldn't want to inconvince the residents who were already there.

 

[BerryCakes]

I think that both sides, need their privacy, however when it comes to desperate times, especially in this already hard enough year, everyone should try and sacrifice for the good of everyone involved. Making things harder for someone due to reasons they can't control is pretty petty. It's not like he asked to be put in a space with only women. I know if it was me, i'd rather sleep outside since I wouldn't want to inconvince the residents who are already there.

I like how you purposely avoid quoting my post, so you can feign ignorance and act like the concept of gender-exclusive spaces exist for no valid reason. I hate using the phrase "fragile male ego" but you basically embody it. Go away.

@BerryCakes, I really applaud your self-advocacy and strength. You definitely need it.

I've worked in community mental health with social workers, and I've seen how the environment can change someone with the best of intentions into someone who sees the client as less than, who doesn't know their own self, and even as an adversary.

I've also been the recipient of social services. I've been in DV shelters. I lived in transitional women's housing for a year and a half. At one point later on I walked into a homeless shelter and was able to walk back out, I had enough of a cushion for a short time to ride out a bad situation and get into a better one, but the environment at that shelter and the way the employees treated the residents, I knew I was going to be as miserable with the staff as with the residents. In all of these social services environments, it's always the staff against those they serve, and those they serve against the staff; sometimes it's not egregious, sometimes it is.

In the transitional housing, run by a huge non-profit organization, the staff were run down by their interactions with residents, you know what shelter residents can be like. But it was clear they had crossed a line where they bunched us all together as being of the same mentality, all immature, all trying to take, all being either criminal or having personality disorders. The main point of contact at the front desk treated us like we were her personal soap opera to watch, she would provoke reactions, she would do favors and yet talk down, she would ask what was in our mail just because she was nosy, and she had horrible, horrible boundaries. Honestly, she would have fit in as resident herself, she was as personality disordered as any resident. But of course when I complained about very real issues with her, I was just a complainer, and I had more education, customer service experience and social service experience than all of the employees with the exception of the director, who kept total distance from us and spent all of her efforts on funders and none on the residents. I may sound to some like I'm bitter, but I've had experience on both sides of the desk and I know exactly what I'm talking about. The social services system in the US is inherently sick.

I can imagine the impact it's having on a bunch of women to have a huge young man share such intimate quarters. I'm sure all or most all of the women there have experienced abuse, including sexual abuse. It's just creepy, wrong, and downright predatory to put him with you all. I would share a personal experience I had at a DV shelter, but one relevant detail that I can't get around not sharing would lead to this thread getting locked. So all I can say is, I understand how destabilizing this is for you and for the group. Like y'all don't have enough fucked up boundary issues among each other, now they have to throw a young man into the mix. Fuck that.

Stay strong. Don't let these folks gaslight you. I hope you get whatever support and healthy opportunities you need to eventually be able to have your own place and take care of your own self, because social services don't take very good care of people. They can easily do as much harm as good, if not more harm.

God bless you. I really needed this reassurance. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You're right, even the other tenants here are horrible to deal with. The whole way this works is disgusting.

 

[Panna]

I like how you purposely avoid quoting my post, so you can feign ignorance and act like the concept of gender-exclusive spaces exist for no valid reason. I hate using the phrase "fragile male ego" but you basically embody it. Go away.

Is this better?

 

[BerryCakes]

Is this better?

I'm going to unironically take back what I said. Not because it's no longer true, but because I have a soft spot for people who somehow make passive-aggressiveness seem more hilarious than annoying.

 

[Cowtipper]

Not everything is about you.

Context: I'm homeless and currently staying at a shelter.

So! Today, my shelter, which primarily serves women, and has a overcrowded dorm where beds are right next to each other and there's zero privacy, decided it'd be a swell idea to let in some 16-year-old boy who's probably about six feet tall. Wonderful, just wonderful. As if being in a shelter doesn't already feel threatening enough as it is.

Look, I get that he's probably going through a hard time. I do! I really do. But if you want to keep a homeless family together, maybe! Just maybe! They should be put in one that focuses on families? That's mixed gendered and has different spaces for men and women? That has different rooms for each tenant? It's not like they don't exist! They do!

Males are stronger than females! Who fucking knew? Apparently, neither of the social workers I talked to! They acted like I was out of my fucking mind for having an issue. This one in particular kept saying "he's a wittle boi :c" when the dude fucking towers over LITERALLY EVERYONE there. 16-year-olds aren't children. At least not physically. Holy Hell.

Now I'm having to ask to move somewhere else. Even better, when I talked about potentially finding a pet-friendly shelter so that I can take the cat with me, this one woman tried to claim it was the shelter's cat. First of all, I was given permission by other staff to take her. Second of all, this cat was fucking chewing its skin off due to the amount of fleas and other parasites on it until I spent nearly $100 on meds for her. I mean! If you want to claim the cat is yours, then go ahead, because I'll be more than happy to get you investigated for animal abuse/neglect! You won't even give the damn thing a cat house to sleep in! You won't even give it food! Luckily, the worker could tell I would raise Hell over this cat, so they gave up, but FUCK. I can't believe this.

Just a word to anyone else out there struggling with poverty or homelessness: DON'T let social workers bully you, make you feel spoiled, or make you feel insane, because trust me, THEY WILL TRY if they think it'll make you shut up. You have to fight for yourself and anybody you love, because if you don't, you'll end up dead or worse. Don't take shit from these people.

Leave the kid alone, he doesn't need some emo harassing him.

 

[mooncake]

I really wish you didn't type out this whole essay. I know you're likely just trying to help, and I appreciate that, but this comment doesn't help me see things differently when my real life experiences beg to differ. I doubt social workers in different sectors are all that similar, anyways. I live in the USA and deal with workers who help the homeless. I'm not a kid in Germany.

I can't say I appreciate you downplaying my fears, either. This "kid" has other options than the street.

Reading how you see social workes was not only sad but also kinda got to me. If you were right, I'd have to be a horrible person too. My former and current coworkers, and my classmates would all be bad people. I know that's not true, so I offered you my professional perspective, that social workers are not inherently evil, which I stand by.
At no point did I mean, the social workers you have encountered, didn't treat you unfairly, or the experiences you made were invalid.

Social work is a profession with international standards, so it's not fundamentally different from country to country.
If the family had that many safe options, they probably would have taken them, just like you would have.
The basics of children's rights, aren't that different either, and the covid situation is even worse in the States, than it is over here. So putting the boy in your dorm was most likely done out of necessity, not ignorance, or to mess with you. Acknowledging that, isn't meant to downplay you fears either.
Fear just isn't always the best compass, even when rooted in real life trauma.

Uh... see, here's the thing... this is supposed to be a women's shelter. Hence the problem. There is no "female only" section. Technically, the whole place should be, but hey. I can't even escape social workers trying to gaslight me on SS, so what do I know?

Wow

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@mooncake, I say directly and honestly, not with anger but with admitted feelings of irritation like I've been scratched by something abrasive, the post wasn't about you, nor about what goes on in your country. Even though you weren't talking to me, it troubled me the way you spoke to the OP about the decisions "we" have to make objectively, and explaining to her what she's experiencing and how she's incorrectly interpreting it. I feel like the us vs them social service environments I described in my previous comment here got brought to this thread. I've sat on both sides of the desk, and the OP is, to me, speaking from a self-empowered place of self-advocacy and self-respect.

I'm not defending her, she's perfectly capable of doing so for herself. I speak because I felt your words, too. I felt like you were putting the OP in her place. I respect myself, I respect you, and I respect us both enough to say that it didn't feel okay.