the sins of the fathers fall on the children

[topolinia]

Hello everyone, I am new to the forum it was a long time since I was looking for a similar place, reading it makes me understand that I am not alone with these thoughts.
I am Italian, I apologize for my English.
I have been living with the thought of suicide for several years now, but in the last few days things have gotten worse and I am more and more convinced to take the step. Last night my father yelled at me that for the millionth time that I am useless and that I should never have been born, I no longer feel the pain of his words.
In Italy we do not have strong drugs, the alplazolam pills if I take them all, the most I get is diarrhea, the same for the SN, everything is blocked here, we have no arms sales or anything else. The only thing that comes to mind is the cut of the veins, I don't even have a bridge nearby but I'm not sure I would be able to jump.
What can you tell me about the veins?
Thank you very much

 

[narudo]

From what I've heard you have to slice up the arm and not across the wrist. Hope that helps.

 

[LastBusStop]

What can you tell me about the veins?

Don't. There's a huge probability you'll fail, suicide by cutting isn't successful. Even if you succeed it'll be a long painful death lying in your own blood, find another method.

 

[Niko66]

I am sorry for your situation. Parents who so carelessly hurt and abuse their children are despicable and so easily ruin lives.

Is independence and distance from them not a possibility at all, if not now in the future? I know it's really difficult with the current state of the world even more so when you are struggling because of them in the first place, being taught that you are incapable and no good... But perhaps time away from your abusers could slowly heal some of the pain you are going through.

Cutting is a slow death and likely to fail, of survival instinct kicking in and of being found as people are pointing out. I'd look into the resources thread more for something that could otherwise be possibly feasible for you as an exit.

 

[topolinia]

I am sorry for your situation. Parents who so carelessly hurt and abuse their children are despicable and so easily ruin lives.

Is independence and distance from them not a possibility at all, if not now in the future? I know it's really difficult with the current state of the world even more so when you are struggling because of them in the first place, being taught that you are incapable and no good... But perhaps time away from your abusers could slowly heal some of the pain you are going through.

Cutting is a slow death and likely to fail, of survival instinct kicking in and of being found as people are pointing out. I'd look into the resources thread more for something that could otherwise be possibly feasible for you as an exit.

I live in a small town in Calabria / Italy, I don't have much around me and as I explained, Italian drugs are very weak to be addictive, so if you take a box of anything, I just have a stomach ache.
I am fat and I am discriminated against, so I cannot find a job, I took a course to become a health assistant but I do not hire from the pandemic, I tried to make myself independent but I failed miserably.
I don't care about the pain or whether it will be long, the important thing is that there is an end

 

[Hercules]

Please don't. It's not as easy as it looks in the movies. The success rate for slitting your wrists is only 2 percent. You would have to cut deep and cut through all your tendons and several major nerves in order to succeed. This will be difficult to do. It will be very painful and your blood will start clotting before you can finish. You will end up disabled if manage to cut deep enough and damage your radical nerve .

 

[Someone123]

I am sorry you are in so much pain. In the u.s. cutting almost never works- according to a harvard study in works 1 in 87 times, barely over 1% of the time. But this could damage your ability to use your hands. There are other methods that could work- you can see choices in the Suicide Resource Compilation section:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

Mental and emotional abuse from your parents is maybe the worst kind of abuse, because you don't have bruises you can show anyone and ask for help. Are there any friends or relatives you can stay with? If you could get away from this abuse you might heal some and start to feel some hope for your life.

I do support choice for ctb but I also think that especially when people are younger that people should try to explore options before doing this.

My parents mental and emotional abuse ruined my life and due to age there is not enough time tio fix things. But for those under thirty, or even forty, there is still a lot of time, which can help.

 

[topolinia]

Mi dispiace che tu stia soffrendo così tanto. Negli Stati Uniti il taglio non funziona quasi mai, secondo uno studio di Harvard in opere 1 su 87, poco più dell'1% delle volte. Ma questo potrebbe danneggiare la tua capacità di usare le mani. Ci sono altri metodi che potrebbero funzionare: puoi vedere le scelte nella sezione Compilazione delle risorse per il suicidio:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

L'abuso mentale ed emotivo da parte dei tuoi genitori è forse il peggior tipo di abuso, perché non hai lividi che puoi mostrare a nessuno e chiedere aiuto. Ci sono amici o parenti con cui puoi stare? Se riuscissi a liberarti da questo abuso, potresti guarirne alcuni e iniziare a provare un po' di speranza per la tua vita.

Sostengo la scelta per ctb, ma penso anche che, soprattutto quando le persone sono più giovani, le persone dovrebbero provare a esplorare le opzioni prima di farlo.

Gli abusi mentali ed emotivi dei miei genitori hanno rovinato la mia vita e a causa dell'età non c'è abbastanza tempo per sistemare le cose. Ma per chi ha meno di trent'anni, o anche quarant'anni, c'è ancora molto tempo, che può aiutare.

Ho provato a chiedere aiuto a mio fratello ma lui è stato chiaro nel ribadire che non vuole essere disturbato, ho pochi amici e tutti sono andati avanti con la loro vita, sono felice per loro, non provo invidia o risentimento. Una volta ho provato a parlarne con loro ma non hanno mai capito quanto stessi soffrendo e dopo avermi raccontato i soliti cliché, ho desistito. Ho chiamato il telefono amichevole, ma funziona fino alle 22:00 e posso chiamare dopo quell'ora, comunque quelle poche volte che hanno risposto le prime volte l'ho trovato comodo, ma con gli anni tutto è peggiorato. Ho 36 anni, per l'azienda italiana sono già vecchio per qualsiasi lavoro.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

From what I've heard you have to slice up the arm and not across the wrist. Hope that helps.

a man in the psych hospital i worked at sliced his arms about 5 times each arm to the tendons and was found in a pool of blood, but survived - one of the carers puked when they were redressing his wounds, said you could see his tendons and bone, this method is the hardest it seems

 

[narudo]

a man in the psych hospital i worked at sliced his arms about 5 times each arm to the tendons and was found in a pool of blood, but survived - one of the carers puked when they were redressing his wounds, said you could see his tendons and bone, this method is the hardest it seems

I guess 13 reasons why just made it look easy

 

[Pain In The Ass]

13 reasons

what is 13 reasons?

 

[topolinia]

I guess 13 reasons why just made it look easy

The series was not supposed to show how to commit suicide, but to deal with other topics

 

[narudo]

The series was not supposed to show how to commit suicide, but to deal with other topics

Yes i get that but my point still remains that they made slitting your arms look easier than it is in real life

 

[topolinia]

I am not prepared on this topic, suicide, I just imagined it was the only way not having another one

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide by cutting sounds unreliable and an awful way to go. I have never considered this method personally. I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. Life is so cruel and unfair. I understand being desperate to leave this world and I know that it is so dreadful having limited options for ctb. People should be able to exit peacefully at a time of their own choosing. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[topolinia]

Suicide by cutting sounds unreliable and an awful way to go. I have never considered this method personally. I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. Life is so cruel and unfair. I understand being desperate to leave this world and I know that it is so dreadful having limited options for ctb. People should be able to exit peacefully at a time of their own choosing. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Yes, I read a lot yesterday on the subject and I realize I imagined it was simple. the days go by and the desire to fade grows. thanks to all of you