![CFLoser](/data/avatars/l/4/4325.jpg?1639297767)
CFLoser
I fcking hate myself
- Dec 5, 2018
- 611
I am consistently phased out of friend groups and friendships.
This is entirely my fault. I can't control my emotions and I am very annoying and I struggle to communicate well.
I CANNOT EXPRESS how many times people start off liking me, only to gradually hate me more and more.
This happened with my friends, at work (was very bad), and even with people I talked with online.
There is a fundamental way in me that everyone else can see but I am blind to. it really feels like the more comfortable and expressive I get around people, the more they hate me. It's as if they finally crack a code and understand why I'm a bad person who should be avoided and mocked.
My brother, one time he said "your problem is that..." but then he stopped himself because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He even talked to some of my older friends so I know his statements aren't unfounded.
I wish there was a way to completely change personality overnight. I've read a few things about weird experiments and I want to just try them. I could be so much better, especially on the inside.
This is entirely my fault. I can't control my emotions and I am very annoying and I struggle to communicate well.
I CANNOT EXPRESS how many times people start off liking me, only to gradually hate me more and more.
This happened with my friends, at work (was very bad), and even with people I talked with online.
There is a fundamental way in me that everyone else can see but I am blind to. it really feels like the more comfortable and expressive I get around people, the more they hate me. It's as if they finally crack a code and understand why I'm a bad person who should be avoided and mocked.
My brother, one time he said "your problem is that..." but then he stopped himself because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He even talked to some of my older friends so I know his statements aren't unfounded.
I wish there was a way to completely change personality overnight. I've read a few things about weird experiments and I want to just try them. I could be so much better, especially on the inside.