Venting The secret to why I am hated. 555

[CFLoser]

I am consistently phased out of friend groups and friendships.

This is entirely my fault. I can't control my emotions and I am very annoying and I struggle to communicate well.
I CANNOT EXPRESS how many times people start off liking me, only to gradually hate me more and more.

This happened with my friends, at work (was very bad), and even with people I talked with online.

There is a fundamental way in me that everyone else can see but I am blind to. it really feels like the more comfortable and expressive I get around people, the more they hate me. It's as if they finally crack a code and understand why I'm a bad person who should be avoided and mocked.

My brother, one time he said "your problem is that..." but then he stopped himself because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He even talked to some of my older friends so I know his statements aren't unfounded.

I wish there was a way to completely change personality overnight. I've read a few things about weird experiments and I want to just try them. I could be so much better, especially on the inside.

 

[Rollo]

So what exactly on your inside you feel needs to be bettered?

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

Unfortunately it can be hard for people to relate to one another if their minds work differently. Loneliness is a painful thing though and even if you do something that might be awkward or weird I don't think you deserve to suffer for that.

To a degree depression and other mental health issues can also lead to certain social "paranoia" or overly negative view of oneself, which leads to thoughts such as "others hate me", but I don't know your full situation of course. I wish at least people would be more honest with you, so that you can get a better idea of where you are at with others and if you can avoid some of the things that you think come off as offputting towards others.

Wish you all the best, dude

 

[TheCrow]

I am consistently phased out of friend groups and friendships.This is entirely my fault.

Then these aren't your people! & it's not your fault. Don't feel bad for being yourself.

I wish there was a way to completely change personality overnight.

Relatable. Also, DON'T EVER CHANGE! As I've said, I like your personality! You are fun & bubbly & interesting. You'd be fun to be around! Just because a few lame people don't understand you doesn't mean you're not worth understanding.

 

[Redt2go]

I am consistently phased out of friend groups and friendships.

This is entirely my fault. I can't control my emotions and I am very annoying and I struggle to communicate well.
I CANNOT EXPRESS how many times people start off liking me, only to gradually hate me more and more.

This happened with my friends, at work (was very bad), and even with people I talked with online.

There is a fundamental way in me that everyone else can see but I am blind to. it really feels like the more comfortable and expressive I get around people, the more they hate me. It's as if they finally crack a code and understand why I'm a bad person who should be avoided and mocked.

My brother, one time he said "your problem is that..." but then he stopped himself because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He even talked to some of my older friends so I know his statements aren't unfounded.

I wish there was a way to completely change personality overnight. I've read a few things about weird experiments and I want to just try them. I could be so much better, especially on the inside.

I can relate to this

 

[CFLoser]

So what exactly on your inside you feel needs to be bettered?

I need to be less annoying, calmer, and more in control of my emotions. And generally nicer and more understanding.

 

[Redt2go]

I need to be less annoying, calmer, and more in control of my emotions. And generally nicer and more understanding.

It happens as you mature from different situations. Everyones annoying at some point lol

Not saying you're immature*

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

I need to be less annoying, calmer, and more in control of my emotions. And generally nicer and more understanding.

I do as well

 

[Rollo]

I need to be less annoying, calmer, and more in control of my emotions. And generally nicer and more understanding.

Can you give a specific example of you acting these traits out? Just to better understand what you're talking about.

 

[CFLoser]

Can you give a specific example of you acting these traits out? Just to better understand what you're talking about.

Yes I remember my friends always called me annoying because I would get excited and happy and start talking a lot while we played games.

At work I was quieter but my managers (they were just about 2-3 years older than me, but had children and stuff so rly mature) they would get mad since I was bad at my job and slow.

 

[21Neberg]

I need to be less annoying, calmer, and more in control of my emotions. And generally nicer and more understanding.

Maybe this isn't your personality, but a result from your mental problems. It's something I've noticed with myself as well.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

As above, it's possible that this isn't your fault at all. If you feel like you're going between manic and depressive states, or failing to read between the social lines for instance, it could mean something else. Have you ever been tested for a mood disorder or learning disability? Sometimes these can be pretty mild, and there's a very broad spectrum.

 

[CFLoser]

As above, it's possible that this isn't your fault at all. If you feel like you're going between manic and depressive states, or failing to read between the social lines for instance, it could mean something else. Have you ever been tested for a mood disorder or learning disability? Sometimes these can be pretty mild, and there's a very broad spectrum.

no i have never been tested for anything. I definitely experience 'manic' and 'depressive' states though. I think it's getting better though, kinda... I feel like people don't like me when I am happy (aka manic) and people enjoy me when im depressed.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I CANNOT EXPRESS how many times people start off liking me, only to gradually hate me more and more.

Me too. This really hurt a lot when I was in my teens and in college because I wanted to be around others, doing fun things, living life while I was "young" the way you see people doing in movies... On the up side, I don't admire human nature, that we can so easily justify doing hurtful things. So... Hope things are looking up for you.

 

[Broken]

I am consistently phased out of friend groups and friendships.

This is entirely my fault. I can't control my emotions and I am very annoying and I struggle to communicate well.
I CANNOT EXPRESS how many times people start off liking me, only to gradually hate me more and more.

This happened with my friends, at work (was very bad), and even with people I talked with online.

There is a fundamental way in me that everyone else can see but I am blind to. it really feels like the more comfortable and expressive I get around people, the more they hate me. It's as if they finally crack a code and understand why I'm a bad person who should be avoided and mocked.

My brother, one time he said "your problem is that..." but then he stopped himself because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He even talked to some of my older friends so I know his statements aren't unfounded.

I wish there was a way to completely change personality overnight. I've read a few things about weird experiments and I want to just try them. I could be so much better, especially on the inside.

Realising somone that really liked you no longer does is fucking well hard. It's made me hate myself

 

[Redt2go]

Realising somone that really liked you no longer does is fucking well hard. It's made me hate myself

Shit fucking retweet

 

[Rollo]

Yes I remember my friends always called me annoying because I would get excited and happy and start talking a lot while we played games.

At work I was quieter but my managers (they were just about 2-3 years older than me, but had children and stuff so rly mature) they would get mad since I was bad at my job and slow.

I feel like people don't like me when I am happy (aka manic) and people enjoy me when im depressed.

See that's the problem with changing your ways to receive approval - people will be annoyed by you for all kinds of stuff, especially people who don't really like or respect you. To the point of them being annoyed just cause you're happy while they're not.

I remember my father didn't like me talking when we watched movies together. He used to ask me 'What did this guy just said?' just to shame me for him missing it due to me talking. While he ofcourse would talk whenether he felt like. Many are hypocrites like this - they hold themselves to quite a different standard that they so righteously and angrily trying to impose on you. Cause it's them you know, a big deal, and then it's you, no big deal at all. Which is not all that unhealthy either - they are sticking up for themselves, even if in such a manner. It's just here you either stick for yourself, for your happiness, or become their doormat.

You don't have to be nice to anyone. And it's up to you to look deep down in your soul and figure out to whom and when you really want to be nice (which always comes at your expense) and when you don't want to be nice. And then act it out without looking back at whether others will approve and defend yourself from them in case they don't. Which is sure way to loose some relationships but they way I see it - even the whole world loving and admiring you like you're God is not worth sacrificing even the tiniest act of self-love when deep down you know this is how you want to live.

 

[Final Escape]

I need to be less annoying, calmer, and more in control of my emotions. And generally nicer and more understanding.

I find it hard to believe u are that abrasive in person. How old are u if u don't mind me asking? Many people are not socially great and it takes practice and mindfulness to get good at being social. 90% of all communication is not verbal so there's a lot more to it besides opening your mouth. This is something u can improve but may have to learn about it more. So u can identify what u might be doing that doesn't work. It took me a while when I started working in a bar before I could easily strike up conversations. I'm not naturally confident, kind of shy at times.

 

[CFLoser]

I find it hard to believe u are that abrasive in person. How old are u if u don't mind me asking? Many people are not socially great and it takes practice and mindfulness to get good at being social. 90% of all communication is not verbal so there's a lot more to it besides opening your mouth. This is something u can improve but may have to learn about it more. So u can identify what u might be doing that doesn't work. It took me a while when I started working in a bar before I could easily strike up conversations. I'm not naturally confident, kind of shy at times.

I am 18, I turn 19 soon tho!

It's sad though, I don't want to have communication issues but it keeps feeling like I do :/ when I was young I don't think I had these issues, but maybe not talking a lot to people past 5 years has hurt me.

 

[JustAboutDone]

You are who you are and how you are and if other people are unkind to you then they are the ones with the flaws. Everyone is different and people should like having a mix of different people around. Don't go changing to try and please other people. I think you're lovely just how you are.