The rope looms quite soon. It's clear I'm under a perpetual assault from a society which doesn't want me. Has never wanted me.

[Area Man]

And this rope is a proper rope, not a cope out. I have a scarf to apply around my neck as well to prevent too much chaffing and will use partial suspension. The kit is good and even if it ain't entirely comfortable on the way out I'll make sure I have time and it does the job. This is different to the frantic first attempt which was cobbled together in a fit of anxiety over my dire situation. I've thought frequently about this and reflected upon everything about my situation and what is realistic and what I'd get from sticking around and I've decided whatever the pros the cons now blow them out of the water.

Living a financially stable, 'supported' existance is not good enough. You need character and prospects to have a life and that can pull you forward even without money or stability. I have neglected these and honestly was a poor match for thise societies expectation anyhow. There must've been a mistake putting me here unless something else has gone terribly wrong.

I've been thinking more optimistically about an afterlife lately too. I believe that whatever comes next is not a continuation but a rebirth of some sort. Maybe you're lifted out of the simulation. Maybe you live through your life again with some extra wisdom within your soul. Maybe you are reborn in some other time and space within the universe completely. But one hopes that what happened here can be forgotten as nothing more than some cautionary tale of folly for yourself and others.

I'm waiting.

 

[lostmyacc]

I have a terrible feeling there will be reincarnation of some type too. I know i won't get better circumstances than these even if I still want to commit suicide.
So i am pretty desperate to avoid this obviously.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that there is nothing after this personally. To me the thought of any afterlife is horrifying, I just want to cease to exist. It really is such a cruel and unfair life and I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I know that it is hard to carry on when you suffer so much. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

 

[Area Man]

I believe that there is nothing after this personally. To me the thought of any afterlife is horrifying, I just want to cease to exist. It really is such a cruel and unfair life and I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I know that it is hard to carry on when you suffer so much. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

A fairer shot at a better life. It won't be coming this time around now. Too late. But maybe next time beers, birdsongs and a bit more traveling and adventure can bit enjoyed without many of this lifes burdens. I would've liked an intresting life more often welcomed by others rather than hated.

I have a terrible feeling there will be reincarnation of some type too. I know i won't get better circumstances than these even if I still want to commit suicide.
So i am pretty desperate to avoid this obviously.

Well I'm not sure how you'll avoid it, it'll come evenually. Some people actually do live fun, fulfilling experiences and achieve happiness. It's been rare but its out there and more common than it used to be... Its a coin you have to keep flipping.

 

[ineverlived]

Do you ever have an instinct for revenge?

 

[Area Man]

Do you ever have an instinct for revenge?

I think about some retibutive action sometimes but I know me, I'm not one for aggression which is one of my flaws I suppose. And such an action would negate the chance of a completed suicide which I'd still prefer. To end all this.

 

[ineverlived]

I think about some retibutive action sometimes but I know me, I'm not one for aggression which is one of my flaws I suppose. And such an action would negate the chance of a completed suicide which I'd still prefer. To end all this.

same man, same.