“The root of all suffering is desire”

[sserafim]

Once I told my crush that I had no desires and that the root of all suffering is desire (and attachment). He told me to "stop with the Buddhist bullshit". What do you think? Is this true or not? How can you prevent yourself from having desires? How can you become truly non-attached?

 

[LittleCupcake]

I'd say it is. We all have dreams and when they're realistic but unachievable that can lead to depression and other issues.

 

[BlendedHeart]

How about your crush? How would you define that?

 

[dragonofenvy]

It's one of the truths but not the truth. Letting go of desire means that you are happy by nature. The Buddhist monks trained themselves to let go of this desire through rigorous education, meditation, living in the mountains for years and all that jazz.

I don't think it's possible to not have desires. I think you can prevent yourself from desiring many things but the way humans are wired we will want something. Detachment is the ability to be okay with those desires being unfulfilled. I saw this which says desire is on a spectrum. How you be free from your desires affecting you I don't know. Modern practitioners try to speedrun it which I know isn't correct. The old Buddhists used something called the eightfold path as a piece of being free from desire.

One question to ask: Is being free of desire worth it? Or will you just be resigned?

 

[sserafim]

How about your crush? How would you define that?

Idk lol. I just like him cuz he's smart, fun, cool and interesting. Sadly he has a gf now…

 

[Homo erectus]

And the cause of desire is deficiency. I am not sure if this is also part of Buddhism. I think they say something like stubbornness. The society amplifies and exaggerates scarcity to induce fear for control.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I think that you are on the right lines but I wouldn't call it the root of all suffering as there is still a layer underneath that. A layer which, had it not existed, desires wouldn't exist to begin with. This layer is procreation. If one was never born to begin with, they wouldn't have desires and subsequently cannot suffer from the deprivation of said desires.

But, yes, once somebody has desires, they can suffer a lot from the absence of said desires. An example of this is a lack of food, water, shelter, love etc. Also, what works in conjunction to desires is competition due to limited resources. Because of competition, there has to be winners and losers hence there has to be people who don't have their desires met.

I don't believe that desires can cease to exist whilst people are alive. Everybody has desires even if it's involuntarily caused by the human body's desire for food and water. I mean, in my case, I desire to be dead but I can't just starve myself to death because my body would desire for food and water

 

[whywere]

With being the most intelligent living thing on this planet, human nature, desire, intelligence, everything is always maybe not much more complicated, BUT it sure takes time to figure things out.

Being 68, only mention this aspect, as with 6 plus decades of life experience and just observing humans, but at least in my thoughts, having desire for someone else is so awesome. It does NOT have to be all about sex, BUT to watch, hand in hand, a beautiful sunrise, with morning tea and sweets, or an evening sunset, with a drink of choice and cheese and the like.

One asepct that I would do over in a flash if I got a second chance, is not brush off, back in the 1970's and 1980's, ladies that wanted to take a walk with me and jsut get to know me. I missed, screwed that up, as far as working too much and the like.

My 50th high school class reunion is coming up this summer, and I can honestly say, where did the last 50 years go? in a blink of the eye is where, so enjoy having a partner, friend(s) and relax.


You are a caring and wonderful person, and this thread made me smile for you as hoping that you stop and smell the roses, hand in hand.

All my best to you, my good friend,

Walter

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Desires are certainly not the root of all suffering but they can cause a lot of mental suffering when it is clear that the desires never can become true anymore.

 

[sserafim]

Desires are certainly not the root of all suffering but they can cause a lot of mental suffering when it is clear that the desires never can become true anymore.

What do you think the root of suffering is then?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I think that you are on the right lines but I wouldn't call it the root of all suffering as there is still a layer underneath that. A layer which, had it not existed, desires wouldn't exist to begin with. This layer is procreation. If one was never born to begin with, they wouldn't have desires and subsequently cannot suffer from the deprivation of said desires.

But, yes, once somebody has desires, they can suffer a lot from the absence of said desires. An example of this is a lack of food, water, shelter, love etc. Also, what works in conjunction to desires is competition due to limited resources. Because of competition, there has to be winners and losers hence there has to be people who don't have their desires met.

I don't believe that desires can cease to exist whilst people are alive. Everybody has desires even if it's involuntarily caused by the human body's desire for food and water. I mean, in my case, I desire to be dead but I can't just starve myself to death because my body would desire for food and water

I think we should split it into natural desires (like food, water, a home/bed to sleep, health) and desires we have bc of the society we live in - those desires are far more than the basic needs all living creatures have. The desires that are directly connected to our society like social status, options we may have in our lives, the desire to get a good uni degree, the desire to drive a fast car, to live in big flat instead of a 1-room apartment at bare minimum, the desire to have the newest iPhone all that wouldn't be necessary for a simple natural life. If all those things wouldn't exists we wouldn't crave for them and we would have much less desires.

What do you think the root of suffering is then?

What kind of suffering? Because of poor health, bc you were so close to a dream job but were rejected in the last moment, bc you had dreams for your life but they are unattainable bc of a failure and your age ... there so many different things that can cause personal mental suffering.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Once I told my crush that I had no desires and that the root of all suffering is desire (and attachment). He told me to "stop with the Buddhist bullshit". What do you think? Is this true or not? How can you prevent yourself from having desires? How can you become truly non-attached?

Yes desires cause suffering.

Unbearable pain from diseases , cancer, stroke, disabilities, parasites, old age, , accidents , homelessness can also cause suffering and there's is only one way to avoid that and all suffering and that is non-existence forever

 

[uzuf86]

I agree with the statement. Look at the monks in Tibet or other countries that do nothing but wake up and meditate and sleep. They have no desires, no problems. They live life until it kills them naturally

 

[tbroken]

The root of suffering is incapacitation and the impossibility to speak out your suffering. I suffered this when i was young and it is terrible. I had to do twice thae job to become 'happy', and now i burnt out and I'm not even that good. Also I'm not the depressed guy type, i was good at life, it's the trauma that made me like this, and I can't still believe it.

 

[sserafim]

The root of suffering is incapacitation and the impossibility to speak out your suffering. I suffered this when i was young and it is terrible. I had to do twice job to become 'happy', and now i burnt out and I'm not even that good. Also I'm not the depressed guy tipe, i was good at life, it's the trauma that made me like this, and I can't still believe it.

Wdym?

 

[Dark Window]

Not really.

Suffering is mental resistance to something like an event, thought, feeling, sensation, experience. Suffering is caused by mental resistance.

Of course desire can play a role because you want a particular end outcome and if your life conflicts with the image in your mind of what you'd prefer it to be, then suffering arises.

Acceptance calms suffering. So yes desire plays it's role.

But try not suffering when you are literally burning alive or suffering from excruciating pain. If you've done 10000 hours of meditation like a monk, it is possible to be in excruciating pain without suffering, but it would be very difficult, and there's only so much anyone can tolerate.

It's not as simple as desire causes suffering. Suffering is caused by resistance and desire for things can lead to resistance.

 

[tbroken]

Wdym?

I had physical trauma, i could not solve it in an easy way and I was scared of everything, because it was not caused by me and I did not have a good opinion of the ppl surrounding me.
My father did not care that much about me also and he was always there, hiding something, i don't know.
So i had to wait a lot, to solve the trauma on my own.
As i stated in previous posts, i was and I'm still surrounded by entitled middle class ppl, who don't understand much of anything and I had to suffer and solve things all on my own.
It was really terrible. I also had narcisistic cousin that wanted to steal my father's attention.

Ps: i could have died of that trauma.