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Insomniac

Insomniac

𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
May 21, 2021
1,357
I recently started a ritual of burning my skin with a burning hot knife. at first, it was just as a training to desensitise myself from pain (for the day I need to slice an artery) (I don't have access to any other method, not even hanging).

But I find myself doing it more and more and it's becoming an addiction of mine. I always burn the same spot (to avoid attracting attention) and then use a band aid. Prior to pressing the burning blade on my skin, I put a cloth in my mouth to avoid bitting my tongue when I cringe (or scream, sometimes).

I do make sure to disinfect and everything.

I also do it before bed and it's so therapeutic.
It's weird how physical pain can relieve you from the torture chamber of the mind. isn't it disturbing how the mind comes to prefer the sensation of a burning blade over unwanted thoughts
 
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alwaysdopesick

alwaysdopesick

Member
Oct 19, 2021
61
I'm sorry if you find this rude because I do fucked up shit too, but self harm that you're describing sounds very dangerous, it doesn't matter if you "d isinfect" all supplies involved, your skin is being severely damaged and your cutting instrument is dulling and worsening in quality. You seem like a nice person I wish you didn't like to hurt yourself. I like to make myself feel really good, it helps me cope with my inevitable suicide
 
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Apricity

Apricity

Wizard
Jul 27, 2021
642
It's weird how physical pain can relieve you from the torture chamber of the mind.
I used to cut a lot for that exact reason. I stopped for years but did it again a while back. I might do it again tonight.
 
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Lone_Gray_Wolf

Lone_Gray_Wolf

Fate plays chess with 2 queens
Aug 21, 2020
263
I don't do that, but I self-stitch (body stitching) my left hand because the end result causes me to keep looking at it in joy and distracts me from everything, is like having something to look at that I can feel proud of, and I like it because of other reasons. Mechanisms are diverse, we all do our own thing to get out of our own minds.

Best of luck
 
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Apricity

Apricity

Wizard
Jul 27, 2021
642
I don't do that, but I self-stitch (body stitching) my left hand because the end result causes me to keep looking at it in joy and distracts me from everything, is like having something to look at that I can feel proud of, and I like it because of other reasons. Mechanisms are diverse, we all do our own thing to get out of our own minds.

Best of luck
Body stitching? I'll have to look that up. Do you use a regular needle and thread, or do you get medical sutures?
 
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Lone_Gray_Wolf

Lone_Gray_Wolf

Fate plays chess with 2 queens
Aug 21, 2020
263
Body stitching? I'll have to look that up. Do you use a regular needle and thread, or do you get medical sutures?
Regular needle and thread. Just make sure of disinfecting it before using it. If you are interested, can PM or do research on your own.

Good luck
 
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Insomniac

Insomniac

𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
May 21, 2021
1,357
Last edited:
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Insomniac

Insomniac

𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
May 21, 2021
1,357
By doing opiates other drugs that make me happy andess depressed and anxious
hmmm
By doing opiates other drugs that make me happy andess depressed and anxious
don't you feel like relieving psychological pain by physical pain (like cutting) is "healthier" than doing hard drugs?

I know it's a fucked up question but here we are
I used to cut a lot for that exact reason. I stopped for years but did it again a while back. I might do it again tonight.
You'd think that it'd be easy for frequent cutters to commit suicide. since the pain if slicing themselves doesn't bother them more than that.

I wonder why it's so rare to hear that someone committed suicide by exsanguination. very strange.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,932
I do not participate in any form of self harm, but I understand it can be a relief for others. We need things to help us cope with the pain that this life gives us. I wish you the best.
 
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Insomniac

Insomniac

𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
May 21, 2021
1,357
I do not participate in any form of self harm, but I understand it can be a relief for others. We need things to help us cope with the pain that this life gives us. I wish you the best.
People who self harm subconsciously do so to avoid having to harm others to relieve their pain. they chose to destroy themselves when others hurt them.

There are two types of people: the murdererous and the suicidal.

there are also people who break important things/objects instead. I think it's smarter even though they might end up financially ruined.
 
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