The problem with therapy

[rs929]

Not only 1, but like 10 of them during all these years.
I guess my health insurance sucks but it seems I'm not alone. Many people here (who even posted on this thread) have had bad experiences too.

Yes but you're from completely different worlds
95% of therapists in Arg have a freudian/lacanian psychoanalytic education. In the rest of the world they're mostly CBT, except it seems in some cases they don't apply CBT but crappy talk therapy worse than psychoanalysis.
There is no evidence of the psychoanalytic approach although it works for some, but there's a great deal of evidence that CBT works.
Also, it's wrong that CBT works for just for "mild" cases. It was originally developed for clinical depression (aka major depressive disorder) and there are new techniques like Dialectical Behavioural Therapy for BPD.
Also, I have read meds are not useful for mild cases but for severe ones.
And I say this taking a lot of medication and doing regular therapy
I insist, there are A LOT of crappy professionals in every area, even cardiologists killed patients with wrong medication. But the problem is not the discipline, just the mediocre professionals.

EDIT: I'm a psychology student - I'll delete this later because I told some people I browse this forum and they might identify me with so much data. But that's my source

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes. Talk at some point doesn't help anymore. Except if it's someone close to you that actually knows you as a person and not as a conglomerate of certain symptoms.
For me, the problem with therapist was always the same - I didn't get the feeling they see and validate me as a human being. For them the solution always seemed simple. I find that disrespectful.

I even added my dog on my previous comment because he's a great listener lol.

Exactly! I also found that attitude very disrespectful. Most of them just don't take their job seriously.

Here's why I like comparing therapists to teachers:

I'm not a perfect teacher but according to my students, I'm much better than the "typical teacher" who just wants you to do boring textbook exercises and send you home instead of explaining things properly in a fun way so that you learn a lot about that subject and maybe become so interested in it that some day you could major in it.
I've had students who became teachers and also some others who can use their English and Spanish perfectly. I'm so proud of them.

My point is, I wish I could just get a therapist who really understands how I feel instead of giving me pro-lifer talks or send me to a psych ward if I show no improvements.

I know the good ones are out there but damn, it's so difficult to find them, especially here in Argentina haha.

 

[TriggerHappy]

I felt quite happy and understood by most of you because I realized I'm not alone: you also had a bad experience with therapists.

Why is it that therapy usually doesn't work? Here's my opinion:
[QUOTE:]
To begin with,...

...Anyway, I'm not saying all therapists are bad. I know there are some awesome ones out there but it's really difficult to find them. Just have a look at the experiences our dear SS fellows had and you'll see.

Having said this, my vent is over and I think those are the problems with therapy.

Hugs and love,

Matt

Some very valid points and arguments made - I do however find some struggling to come to terms with your acceptance of your situation; in spite of your insight and willingness to risk by sharing...

- MIGHT I SUGGEST YOU TALK TO SOMEONE??!!!

LOL (joke) M!GS

 

[WornOutLife]

Some very valid points and arguments made - I do however find some struggling to come to terms with your acceptance of your situation; in spite of your insight and willingness to risk by sharing...

- MIGHT I SUGGEST YOU TALK TO SOMEONE??!!!

LOL (joke) M!GS

I guess I just need a "therapist" who provides "therapy" (no pun intended). Do you know any of them? lol

 

[TriggerHappy]

Makes me think of the "you can bring a horse to the water, but you can't make the horse drink it".

Drown the fucking horse.

- jokes aside a fantastic thread - made me think a lot about relationship archetypes & architectures...
The-rapists are people too - with their own aims / ideals and expectations...

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

My point is, I wish I could just get a therapist who really understands how I feel instead of giving me pro-lifer talks or send me to a psych ward if I show no improvements.

I know the good ones are out there but damn, it's so difficult to find them, especially here in Argentina haha.

If you think Argentina is bad try Croatia. Last time I was hospitalized I was assigned a new therapist. During my whole stay of 10 days she talked with me once for 10 minutes. That, and the abismal way all of the patients were treated by the staff, was pretty much a turning point for me to forfiet my right for any medical help. I gradually tappered of all of my meds and when I go to see her from time to time I don't tell her shit. And she doesn't inquire. She doesn't give a damn.

I don't know. Maybe I should try and find a good psychologist, maybe there is someone out there, but during the years I have developed a phobia of doctors, after being mistreated and neglected on so many occasions.

Of one thing I'm sure though. Being borderline violent or even just condescending with someone who is suicidal is not productive at all. I don't know what the right way is, but that is not it.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I guess I just need a "therapist" who provides "therapy" (no pun intended). Do you know any of them? lol

It's simple, if you just pay for the more expensive ones then they'll obviously have the solutions.

Or just take the $500 per hour you'd waste on some idiot and microdose some MDMA from the darknet with money to spare, at least the latter will have a positive effect.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Here's why I like comparing therapists to teachers:

I'm not a perfect teacher but according to my students, I'm much better than the "typical teacher" who just wants you to do boring textbook exercises and send you home instead of explaining things properly in a fun way so that you learn a lot about that subject and maybe become so interested in it that some day you could major in it.
I've had students who became teachers and also some others who can use their English and Spanish perfectly. I'm so proud of them
My point is, I wish I could just get a therapist who really understands how I feel

That is actually a great analogy. That reminds me of that saying, that a true leader leads by example. Not by giving orders from a pedestal. You are successful as a teacher because you don't consider yourself superior to your students. I mean, I'm sure you are well aware there must be a hierarchy to maintain order, but you treat your "higher" position, your experience and knowledge as a vantage point and not as a place of power. This virtually eliminates the feeling of hierarchy in your students, so as they feel as a valued part of a group insted of being forced into a project. It seems to me you have learned a great deal about being a good teacher just by being a student.

Point being: stepping into someone else's position is the first step of validation. And validation is the first step of humanizing another person. And that goes a long way.

 

[WornOutLife]

That is actually a great analogy. That reminds me of that saying, that a true leader leads by example. Not by giving orders from a pedestal. You are successful as a teacher because you don't consider yourself superior to your students. I mean, I'm sure you are well aware there must be a hierarchy to maintain order, but you treat your "higher" position, your experience and knowledge as a vantage point and not as a place of power. This virtually eliminates the feeling of hierarchy in your students, so as they feel as a valued part of a group insted of being forced into a project. It seems to me you have learned a great deal about being a good teacher just by being a student.

Your words made my day brighter. Thank you so much.
You're right. I don't feel superior to anyone. My students are human beings just like me. Some of them even end up becoming my friends lol.
I've had terrible and excellent teachers. I do my best to follow the example of those great teachers I had and never ever do what the bad ones did.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I think therapy can only help someone get over a regular trauma, but is useless with most mental illnesses. CBT biggest wast of time in my life.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think therapy can only help someone get over a regular trauma, but is useless with most mental illnesses. CBT biggest wast of time in my life.

This!!
For instance, they seem to be quite useful for couples and work problems but as regards suicide and deep depression? Seldom!

 

[Celerity]

Why do you call cognitive behavorial therapy as cancer ?
Just curious

A lot of other comments have made really great points, but truly it's the way that most (especially short-term) CBT simply identifies your negative thoughts as irrational instead of exploring *why* you have them in the first place. CBT also starts from the assumption that negative, non-adaptive thoughts are inherently irrational, which is not true. If anything, irrational optimism is adaptive.

There also just isn't as much evidence for it as practitioners would have you believe. The cognitive science underlying it is pretty sound, but in actual practice, they can't even beat psychoanalysis. Meta-analyses (reviews of many scientific studies/trials) have shown this. What has always mattered the most is the relationship between the client and the therapist. Good therapists are good therapists full stop, no matter what modality, though I am very easily irked by CBT.

Also, having had some graduate-level training in psych myself, I am less inclined to take a discipline seriously if its disciples literally do shots about its bewildering ineffectiveness.

 

[lonerclown666]

Therapy dont work you just waste time and money

 

[WornOutLife]

Therapy dont work you just waste time and money

In my case, the only positive thing about therapy was that I didn't spend a single penny because fortunately, my health insurance covered all the expenses.
As for "the treatment", I can only say that talking to a wall would've worked better.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

In my case, the only positive thing about therapy was that I didn't spend a single penny because fortunately, my health insurance covered all the expenses.
As for "the treatment", I can only say that talking to a wall would've worked better.

Don't forget to bring your tape recorder that repeats you saying "No" over and over again when the "wall" asks if you're suicidal.

 

[WornOutLife]

Don't forget to bring your tape recorder that repeats you saying "No" over and over again when the "wall" asks if you're suicidal.

I almost forgot about this.
You just made my day!

 

[dovistico]

The problem with therapy is that it's a fakity fake ass profession that doesn't actually do anything. "12 rules for life" by Jordan Peterson has done more for me than any therapy. I bet if everyone here read that book half of us would leave the site

Really? This book was one of the worst books I have ever read. It is political propaganda, not a self-help book. Furthermore, Jordan Peterson himself does not live by these principles, as he had big addiction problems and at the same time is very dismissive and blaming towards sufferers of mental illness.

 

[ShutUpEli]

Therapy itself just doesn't work. Like, you're telling me I feel like shit and instead of just catching a quicker way out I have to go out of my way to find the holy grail of therapist among about 50 others, all whom charge me by the touch/how long I bother to look through them. Are you kidding me?

 

[WornOutLife]

Therapy itself just doesn't work. Like, you're telling me I feel like shit and instead of just catching a quicker way out I have to go out of my way to find the holy grail of therapist among about 50 others, all whom charge me by the touch/how long I bother to look through them. Are you kidding me?

I couldn't agree more!
I've tried seeing 10 different therapist throught these years. I've had more than enough!
My wall and dog are much better psychologists and listeners!

 

[brokenwaves]

i feel like therapy is helpful if you have very mild issues, or just need somebody to talk to. i'm sure it is helpful for people with not much emotional intelligence so need their emotions explained to them. i never found it helpful because they sit there explaining to you why you're feeling certain ways, expecting this to somehow fix your mental illnesses & meanwhile i'm there saying yes i already know this but thanks here's €90. i am capable of thinking rationally, i could write a thesis on what i feel and why i feel it, i can discuss at length the effects trauma has had on me.....this has not fixed anything lmao

 

[Ch92921]

Words do not solve inborn biological problems.

But about people who are born autistic or with learing dissbilties? What if these people suffer? Do they go to a therapist and then everything is fine?

 

[Desi]

Problem with therapy is you ending up acting indefinitely. Talking about me , of course. I was more confused on the way out than when i went in, i couldn't identify anything anymore, confusion instead of clarity.
The other funny thing is i stumbled across a novel written by my therapist at the public library, his first book. The story of a man who is pregnant, see the psychanalytical content ? I read, it was too abstract, you could tell the professional trying to overimpose his psychanalytical concepts on the story.

 

[FuneralCry]

I was nearly forced to do therapy last year and I had a lucky escape as its my idea of hell as I have communication problems. It's even worse when talking therapies are suggested as an solution for physical health problems, I found that quite insulting. I just don't understand people who think that positive thinking and talking can fix all problems. I feel like my thoughts are rational for my situation and don't need to be changed. Those type of people are delusional and haven't suffered enough themselves. I think having a pet is better than seeing a therapist!

 

[Rolliewoo]

I've seen a few therapists and i can honestly say they've made me feel worse every time. They mean well but have never helped me, they basically just repeat back the information you tell them, like parrots....as if doing this means they understand you. I think like others have said, they mean well but perhaps experience over education would be more beneficial in some instances.....maybe we need to see older shrinks going forward or perhaps more help can be sought from people who have been through shit and recovered

 

[Sinai Silence]

Some therapists I've seen have definitely made me feel worse but none have improved my mental wellbeing at all. Like has CBT actually worked for anyone with any major issues?
I feel like it's best suited for someone who's under the weather, not people with complex and long term mental illnesses.
People I talk to irl say how useless therapy and CBT was for them. I wish I listened to them earlier but didn't really consider other options at the time.

 

[LoupDeFeu]

I always wonder if therapists are trained to lie and tell you that your life has far more potential to improve than it does.

 

[myopybyproxy]

I always wonder if therapists are trained to lie and tell you that your life has far more potential to improve than it does.

they likely believe it themselves - most people have been brainwashed, otherwise they wouldnt be so optimistic - and if they dont they would have a hard time putting up that facade for long

 

[needed_]

I have to say that I'm very lucky to almost always have had very good therapists and I've always had quite a close relationship to them. But what drives me insane is that my current therapist - after all my psych history - doesn't believe I would actually kill myself now. It helps me of course because I don't want to be hospitalised, I want to die. But it somehow breaks my heart that he, knowing me so well, does not see how deep the pain is. He just went on vacation and only asked if I can promise not to do anything. How stupid is that, of course I lied. But he should know I'm lying... I don't want to be saved, I just want him to know how much pain I'm in