whatevs
Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
- Jan 15, 2022
- 2,914
We have had some threads regarding either Hinduist or Buddhist approaches to 'enlightenment', which would be something similar to the Classical (?) Greek concept of ataraxia, but grander in scope, I think. I want to share with the users interested in such things something that's interesting, at least to me. I have been toying with this idea for some time. If we have a word for the peak of virtue or lucidity, why don't we have a concept or word for peak spiritual 'abysmation'? I say this because, as much as some parts of me have been forged through years of suffering to become more compassionate, wide-scoped and open-minded, I notice that overall I fall more into the spiritual abyss than enlightenment, and obviously most people in the forum do too.
Why would this be useful or relevant? You see, oftentimes in life we find that we can't see one extreme, but we are plunged into another, which lets us infer the other extreme should be somewhere, since our reality is dualistic, or binary, or at least our way of understanding the world is. I don't hold a simplistic, anthropomorphized, theistic worldview, but a good analogy would be to say that you have never seen God but that you know plenty about the Devil, so you imagine both entities to exist since you know at least one. Likewise, at the end of the day I personally know more about feeling alienated from others, hating them, desiring them harm, feeling hateful or ambivalent regarding life itself than to actually feel at a sentimental level that I am one with them, that I love them, that I forgive everyone etc. I understand that we are one AS AN ABSTRACTION and an abstraction only. In reality, I feel very distanced from everyone, and that's not very enlightened but rather the headspace where criminals dwell. Think about it. How do you think a serial killer felt regarding their victims? Closely related in the cosmic family of all things?
We have to be very careful with words and even concepts because they often trick people into thinking they understand stuff when they don't. Words > Ideas > Feelings. This is why a child rapist can pose as a nationally celebrated comedian for decades or a politician can bamboozle the feeble minded into thinking he is benevolent and responsible. The stupidest people cling to words, the mid-wits cling to ideas, and the ones that are really fucking serious about getting at the bottom of things look at feelings, which in judging people translates to things like 'how can we now what actually motivates someone, what are their values', 'who the person associates with', 'does the person show the correct emotions when faced with sob stories and the harship of others?' etc. Neurologically too, it's easy to see how feelings, especially base ones related to instincts are much older and more powerful than the cultural and social stuff.
So here are two examples of how I am the opposite of enlightened. I've known for years now that pornography is, for all intent and purposes, outrageously legal sexual abuse recorded for profit. I know for a fact, looking at these naked bodies, often compelled to show agressive grins as they do their thing, that what I am looking at is some kind of Samsaric epitome, like some kind of outer circle of Dante's inferno where pleasure, addiction and pain intertwine intimately. Again, the opposite of enlightenment, no doubt about it, but I can't actually stop masturbating to it. I'm enthralled, like the man and woman chained by Satan in the Devil's tarot card.
The last example, which has an humorous undertone, has to do with my encounters with a chubby, rude package carrier. You see, a year ago I was watering my garden with the headphones put on. When I heard someone screaming at me, took them out and saw the chubby carrier standing impatiently at the door. He had screamed at me disrespectfully, and when I approached and apologized because I was listening to music (I have social anxiety so often I will say the first thing that comes to mind), the carrier mockingly replied that 'It's OK, king, here is your package, here, take it. See, you, milord'. From that day on, the few times this same carrier has ended in my house I have been called chief, boss, marquis, the lot, each time with me getting menacingly closer to him with the door in between but unable to ask for respect. Today I realized that the next time he comes and talks to me like that, I will come out, confront him physically and dare him to mock me again, taking some pleasure in shoving him if need be.
For things like these, I realize I am probably more unenlightened than enlightened. I'm in the dark spiritually, just struggling not to become a 'bad person' (or kill myself), so the energy to be good just isn't there.
Why would this be useful or relevant? You see, oftentimes in life we find that we can't see one extreme, but we are plunged into another, which lets us infer the other extreme should be somewhere, since our reality is dualistic, or binary, or at least our way of understanding the world is. I don't hold a simplistic, anthropomorphized, theistic worldview, but a good analogy would be to say that you have never seen God but that you know plenty about the Devil, so you imagine both entities to exist since you know at least one. Likewise, at the end of the day I personally know more about feeling alienated from others, hating them, desiring them harm, feeling hateful or ambivalent regarding life itself than to actually feel at a sentimental level that I am one with them, that I love them, that I forgive everyone etc. I understand that we are one AS AN ABSTRACTION and an abstraction only. In reality, I feel very distanced from everyone, and that's not very enlightened but rather the headspace where criminals dwell. Think about it. How do you think a serial killer felt regarding their victims? Closely related in the cosmic family of all things?
We have to be very careful with words and even concepts because they often trick people into thinking they understand stuff when they don't. Words > Ideas > Feelings. This is why a child rapist can pose as a nationally celebrated comedian for decades or a politician can bamboozle the feeble minded into thinking he is benevolent and responsible. The stupidest people cling to words, the mid-wits cling to ideas, and the ones that are really fucking serious about getting at the bottom of things look at feelings, which in judging people translates to things like 'how can we now what actually motivates someone, what are their values', 'who the person associates with', 'does the person show the correct emotions when faced with sob stories and the harship of others?' etc. Neurologically too, it's easy to see how feelings, especially base ones related to instincts are much older and more powerful than the cultural and social stuff.
So here are two examples of how I am the opposite of enlightened. I've known for years now that pornography is, for all intent and purposes, outrageously legal sexual abuse recorded for profit. I know for a fact, looking at these naked bodies, often compelled to show agressive grins as they do their thing, that what I am looking at is some kind of Samsaric epitome, like some kind of outer circle of Dante's inferno where pleasure, addiction and pain intertwine intimately. Again, the opposite of enlightenment, no doubt about it, but I can't actually stop masturbating to it. I'm enthralled, like the man and woman chained by Satan in the Devil's tarot card.
The last example, which has an humorous undertone, has to do with my encounters with a chubby, rude package carrier. You see, a year ago I was watering my garden with the headphones put on. When I heard someone screaming at me, took them out and saw the chubby carrier standing impatiently at the door. He had screamed at me disrespectfully, and when I approached and apologized because I was listening to music (I have social anxiety so often I will say the first thing that comes to mind), the carrier mockingly replied that 'It's OK, king, here is your package, here, take it. See, you, milord'. From that day on, the few times this same carrier has ended in my house I have been called chief, boss, marquis, the lot, each time with me getting menacingly closer to him with the door in between but unable to ask for respect. Today I realized that the next time he comes and talks to me like that, I will come out, confront him physically and dare him to mock me again, taking some pleasure in shoving him if need be.
For things like these, I realize I am probably more unenlightened than enlightened. I'm in the dark spiritually, just struggling not to become a 'bad person' (or kill myself), so the energy to be good just isn't there.
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