Venting The only reason I didnt ctb by now

[obei]

My family. Ive been adopted by them, and they showed me so much love. Ofc they can be hard sometimes but I still know that they deeply care about me. I feel so bad about shattering their harts like this. No mother should bury their child. My only hope is to make a good last letter that they can cling on to for hope and maybe continue on living and making memories even after I die.

 

[tpboy]

I feel for you. I wish i could advise you better.

 

[drennedrat]

I feel. It's so hard to leave a good family. I'm in the same boat. I hope they can still have fun without me and not let it affect them too much.

 

[Zegers]

It's understandable but i can't live for others, some say it's selfish and it's not selfish that they want you to live when you don't want to? I'm sorry but i have to go my way.

 

[wagner2029]

My family. Ive been adopted by them, and they showed me so much love. Ofc they can be hard sometimes but I still know that they deeply care about me. I feel so bad about shattering their harts like this. No mother should bury their child. My only hope is to make a good last letter that they can cling on to for hope and maybe continue on living and making memories even after I die.

are you undergoing any treatment? are you taking any medicine? how long have you been suffering?

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

Same. I wish I CTB when I was angry at the world. Now I feel guilt over wanting to leave my parents with a dead son.

 

[obei]

are you undergoing any treatment? are you taking any medicine? how long have you been suffering?

Yes,yes, and around since 2017 I started showing signs of depression

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's your life and your decision, you don't have to live for others. But yes I really understand that you don't want to hurt your parents. That's also sth that worries me with my own plans. It's a tough decision that doesn't make it easier when everyone is so much anti-suicide. I hope you find peace in whichever way you decide to go.

 

[アホペンギン]

I understand your situation but you should consider the way you will feel over how others feel. But, its your family we're talking about so I understand that it would hurt so much knowing that you will ruin them after they figure out they you ctb so, I can't advise you that much. I'm glad your family was so good to you and they did a good thing by adopting you but I see how this can really stop you can make you very doubtful while deciding to ctb and ultimately delay your date. Just do whatever you feel to be right, I hope you'll figure something out soon!