Has life just become a monotonous bore for anybody else?
It's almost like I'm doing things on auto pilot now. For example, it's a little after 3 PM here and I'm starting to think about what I want for eat and if I'm going to be forced to cook anything. Luckily, yesterday I made that chicken and rice so I'll be eating the rest of that tonight. Two minutes in the microwave.
However, I don't really eat because I'm hungry or because I enjoy the food. I'm just eating because I have to take meds at night that require food and because I haven't eaten for the rest of the day.
Then after dinner, I'll take out my contact lenses and put on my pajamas, even if it's 5 PM. Then I spend the evening watching the same old things on TV, sometimes with the sound off and sometimes not, and surfing the net. Either on this site or, if it goes down, looking at Pinterest or something until the site comes back up. While I'm doing that, I'm either eating chips or cookies or candies or something of that sort and drinking either soda, hot cocoa, or liquor. Some nights I'll have music on instead of the TV, but when I'm typing on here I usually have to shut the music off while I'm typing because I can't type and listen to the music at the same time anymore because of my brain fog and my inability to concentrate. Then I just do that until I get so tired that I can't stay awake, which can sometimes not happen until 4 AM or 5 AM the next morning. Then I eventually fall asleep. Then I wake up the next morning and I'm immediately upset that I woke up because I feel like total crap- again! And then the day starts all over again and it's the exact same thing as it was the day before.