The Official 2020 Everything But The Kitchen Sink Post

[BlueWidow]

Oh good, the corovirus thing is in my county

I saw something on TV that claimed that it originated in snakes. It came from people consuming snake meat. Apparently, a lot of diseases start out that way. And it isn't just exotic animals either, or exotic for the western world. It also happens with animals that we consume here, such as cows and pigs and chickens. It's not a cultural thing. I'm not sure how it happens that the illness jumps from the animal to the person.
I wonder how it is that you can consume some animal meat and it's perfectly fine, but you consume other animal meat and it makes you sick. How does the virus jump from the animal meat to the human?

 

[Jean4]

I used to love lunchables. Now they give me migraines. Stupid brain being all picky and not liking preservatives.

I love lunchables. I don't like blueberries and scallops, but will eat then if I had to.

 

[Carina]

Not sure what's going on. My mood seems to be all over the place today.

Earlier today I was really angry and irritated for no particular reason. Now I just kind of feel empty and depressed. I'm trying to eat my dinner and I don't even want it. I'm struggling to eat at least enough so I can take my pills. Everything just seems so futile.

I'm a little worried about swallowing the SN.
What if I can't do it? I know people have complained about this before on this forum, but I wish there was a switch that you could flip to just eliminate yourself. Turn yourself off like a light. I'm so tired of being here and dealing with all the crap involved with existence. In a way, I'm envious of my husband, at least he got to have drugs while he was dying. But I don't really know what the process was like for him. I just know they gave him drugs to mask any horrible effects that the family might notice. It's ironic to me that they gave him drugs and forced him to die when he didn't want to. I would give anything to have drugs and be able to die, and they won't let me have any.

Can, can't swallow... you've got enough for another day or try. Other things though... that could be the limiting maybe.... who knows though. You might not have hesitation when the time comes though too... hard to tell

 

[BlueWidow]

Can, can't swallow... you've got enough for another day or try. Other things though... that could be the limiting maybe.... who knows though. You might not have hesitation when the time comes though too... hard to tell

Guess I need to get myself into a headspace where I convince myself that my husband's family is on their way to invade my house and stay with me for a month, or that my SIL is on her way to drag me to another doctor's appointment if I don't swallow the SN right now. LOL!

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Whoa.... that.... is that a lifetime supply?!??!

And that's supposed to make you less depressed?

 

[Jean4]

Order places! Will be here tomorrow between 9-11 am

 

[Carina]

Or maybe he is saying it's not your time. ;)

Stan is mysterious.... I mean he did give us the bible on SN....
I'm still impressed by how much people respect and keep him around here.... it is so touching

 

[Backwood_tilt]

woo! 7 hours at the psych hospital today, ending with the Psychiatrist who saw me basically telling the meeting was "redundant" (since they also separately scheduled me to see his colleague, another psych tomorrow) and that he thought i was "happy" and could not think of anything to help me. He was basically trying to usher me out of his office as quickly as possible.

I'm not particularly upset, as this is more or less what i was expecting. Guy did his job, and was very respectful and empathetic. But as we often discuss here, these people are not trained to deal with what we are going through.

Guy even suggested Electroconvulsive therapy even though i've never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety or any other mental disorder outside of PTSD.... he must have really been feeling desperate!

 

[Jean4]

Stan is mysterious.... I mean he did give us the bible on SN....
I'm still impressed by how much people respect and keep him around here.... it is so touching

They have no choice. I will nag people into remembering him.

 

[Carina]

Oh wow that reminds me I need to practice lieing in the mirror saying "I am not actively suicidal" and I just chuckled typing that.... UGH!

They have no choice. I will nag people into remembering him.

And then some will join him... and he'll be like "oh wow you used my guide! and we never met!"

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I'm a little worried about swallowing the SN.
What if I can't do it?

Yeah i am not going the SN route due to the digestive issues that could crop up. I would be a shoe in for nausea and whatever else, given my existing health problems.

I think, until we do it, we can find any particular thing to worry incessantly about. I keep worrying that i'm going to fall over during exit bag and that will lead to disrupting the process and failure.

At the risk of sounding like a pro-lifer, just have faith in yourself and the process! you have done so much work and preparation, trust that you've taken all the necessary precautions. You must believe in yourself!

 

[BooGirl]

I just took another shower. I don't know why. I just wanted too.

I took one this morning, which I don't normally do. I guess that today is a day of unusual showering habits.

 

[Jean4]

Oh wow that reminds me I need to practice lieing in the mirror saying "I am not actively suicidal" and I just chuckled typing that.... UGH!

And then some will join him... and he'll be like "oh wow you used my guide! and we never met!"

It's his legacy. No different than someone using a cookbook ;)

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Oh wow that reminds me I need to practice lieing in the mirror saying "I am not actively suicidal" and I just chuckled typing that.... UGH!

Yeah it's not fun. I hope your practicing helps.

thankfully i find it pretty easy to lie about that, and i have this cover of "well i'm considering euthanasia" so we get to discuss death to some length, comfortably.

 

[Carina]

Yeah it's not fun. I hope your practicing helps.

thankfully i find it pretty easy to lie about that, and i have this cover of "well i'm considering euthanasia" so we get to discuss death to some length, comfortably.

I'm just needing to not get locked up.... like my brain had this uncontrollable desire to buy 2 more bottles today.... for no reason.... TODAY and the appointment is friday... like... why... makes no sense at all. so yeah. Definitely need to practice lieing. In theory the package could show up Thursday/Friday... so hoping it shows up before appointment so it's not sitting there too... just in case (if it shows up friday)
the 'actively' is the keyword I need to get trained to lie about basically

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I'm just needing to not get locked up.... like my brain had this uncontrollable desire to buy 2 more bottles today.... for no reason.... TODAY and the appointment is friday... like... why... makes no sense at all. so yeah. Definitely need to practice lieing. In theory the package could show up Thursday/Friday... so hoping it shows up before appointment so it's not sitting there too... just in case (if it shows up friday)
the 'actively' is the keyword I need to get trained to lie about basically

Yeah you need to rehearse. Practice that emotional regulation, don't slip up. I was specifically asked "are you planning suicide or looking into methods at all". Thank god they don't have my SS membership on file to pull up my comment history

When i read the stories of people who didn't intend to reveal suicidal planning but ended up doing so anyways (as they allege, unintentionally) it always confuses me. But i get how with intense emotions, the stress of the situation, that can come out in covert (but overt to the listener) ways.

Don't worry, you got this!
------------
@LegaliseIt!

see above, didn't go so well

 

[Carina]

Yeah you need to rehearse. Practice that emotional regulation, don't slip up. I was specifically asked "are you planning suicide or looking into methods at all". Thank god they don't have my SS membership on file to pull up my comment history

When i read the stories of people who didn't intend to reveal suicidal planning but ended up doing so anyways (as they allege, unintentionally) it always confuses me. But i get how with intense emotions, the stress of the situation, that can come out in covert (but overt to the listener) ways.

Don't worry, you got this!

yeah... that's the other thing... I normally go in like "don't tell them anything!"

Then I get asked "are you depressed?" yep
"are you suicidal?"yep
"do you have a plan?" yes
"a date?" yes
me (thinking): *wtf am I doing shut up?!?*

so totally need to get responses of lies rehearsed lol

 

[BlueWidow]

Wow! They just announced a fifth possible case of the coronavirus in my area.
it seems to be continuing to spread even though they've supposedly tried to clamp down on people traveling. Unless this is the residual effects of people that traveled before they started trying to forbid people from traveling.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I took one this morning, which I don't normally do. I guess that today is a day of unusual showering habits.

I shower like 4 times a day. It's the only place I can cry

 

[Carina]

Wow! They just announced a fifth possible case of the coronavirus in my area.
it seems to be continuing to spread even though they've supposedly tried to clamp down on people traveling. Unless this is the residual effects of people that traveled before they started trying to forbid people from traveling.

5th in yours, technically 2nd in mine (but one's in my county, so that's like "next door" so to speak! :D

 

[Backwood_tilt]

yeah... that's the other thing... I normally go in like "don't tell them anything!"

Then I get asked "are you depressed?" yep
"are you suicidal?"yep
"do you have a plan?" yes
"a date?" yes
me (thinking): *wtf am I doing shut up?!?*

so totally need to get responses of lies rehearsed lol

the pearl is obviously your admission of suicidal planning

edit - carina on friday:

 

[Carina]

the pearl is obviously your admission of suicidal planning

edit - carina on friday:

oh yeah... that's totally me rofl...like yep......

It's like just a time I want to get an accurate diagnosis just to see what the psychiatrist says I have. I just kind of want to know. I have a feeling he's just going to say "major depressive disorder" as it's in my file and not change anything. because funny thing is I've either been in depressive state when around him, or in a confidently happy like state where I kind of controlled the conversation and go the pills I wanted. when he took it as "no longer depressed"

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Wow! They just announced a fifth possible case of the coronavirus in my area.
it seems to be continuing to spread even though they've supposedly tried to clamp down on people traveling. Unless this is the residual effects of people that traveled before they started trying to forbid people from traveling.

It has a 1-14 day incubation period, apparently, but I think that it is being minimized to avoid panic. Statistically, it is still less dangerous than the flu.
I'm such a little ray of sunshine.
Goodnight Sinksters!

 

[BlueWidow]

It has a 1-14 day incubation period, apparently, but I think that it is being minimized to avoid panic. Statistically, it is still less dangerous than the flu.
I'm such a little ray of sunshine.
Goodnight Sinksters!

Goodnight! Sleep well.

 

[Carina]

It has a 1-14 day incubation period, apparently, but I think that it is being minimized to avoid panic. Statistically, it is still less dangerous than the flu.
I'm such a little ray of sunshine.
Goodnight Sinksters!

Night!
-----------------------
I swear slipping in verbal comments when in pain is going to get me in trouble if I'm not careful.
--------------------------
omg.... lawyer just got pushed back.... again....
I seriously don't even care... I don't care about the things...
If the stuff has been paid for, I don't care... just get the stuff to pay for the things
and get me money on top or whatever...
if not after... I seriously.... do....not.....care....

Originally it was December... then jan... then first week of feb.... now feb 10th.

------------------------------

It's his legacy. No different than someone using a cookbook ;)

Not this type though ;)Sorry, couldn't help it lol Stan was great :)

 

[Jean4]

Good night everyone. It's another insomnia night. I can feel it.

 

[Carina]

Good night everyone. It's another insomnia night. I can feel it.

Well I hope that maybe you could sleep though

 

[Morphinekiss]

Good night everyone. It's another insomnia night. I can feel it.

Have you tried yoda nidra? It's the only thing that gets me to sleep.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Good night everyone. It's another insomnia night. I can feel it.

Hang in there. Do the edibles make a difference for you? They didn't for me so i moved to vapourized THC heavy stuff and that seems to help suppress dreams and get me to sleep.

 

[BlueWidow]

Good night everyone. It's another insomnia night. I can feel it.

Goodnight! I hope you can sleep.