She seems very controlling and manipulative.
Her bf drives by and checks on you when she isn't there?! What do they think you're going to do? Does she just want to keep you there so you'll continue to keep paying for everything? Does she have a job or pay for anything? Do you share any of the expenses, or do you pay for everything?
I don't even know what to say. That sounds a lot like my dad. He was very paranoid and was always coming home unannounced and so on thinking he was going to catch me doing something, though I never figured out what it was that he thought I was doing. He always accused me of plotting against him. It made no sense. But then again he was an alcoholic and I think he was paranoid because of that.
I think he checks to make sure the house is ok... as it's on the way to the post office that he goes to... and he doesn't have internet at home (and he won't just take my username/password for free wifi so he can use at his place because updates would take too long) so he stops by to check messages.
Some are shared, although a lot like anything of importance are mine... or she pays and then is like "I need money in my account" or I look and her account is overdrawn, so I put money in her account just so it's not an overdraft fee that would just be more than not.
She's been on disability for 10 years now? it's been a while. so her income is set. it's the only reason I've just been wanting a single payment worthwhile so she can survive for a while, and even though the boyfriend annoys me--he can at least move in and together they'd be comfortable.
And while I know he can show up or drive by at random times, he wouldn't come inside except in the daytime. He has a key to the house.
So like when she does possibly with little notice go with her friends overnight, I know I"d be able to do something, and he wouldn't come in, it provides a window of 10:30-6am where there's basically 0% chance of anyone showing up shy of emergency (literal emergency--like her or her friend going to ER)
So... basically a clear window... just... semi rushed if not given warning... and it could be canceled at last minute, whereas if I could've scheduled things--it would've been set in stone basically