Stardate 832940, 10:18 pm.
I should get an actual pattern for stardate.
My ass is has frozen!
Literally!
I've been to my father's place today for a weekly visit. He fucked his leg up by slipping on some oil his neighbor accidentally dripped in the middle of the building's hallway. Don't ask me how that happens accidentally, that's beyond my simple mortal comprehension.
I've mentioned I'm having trouble sitting comfortably today. He poked my ass. It felt abnormal for an ass, apparently, so he asked to take a look. Being the logical person I am, my first thought was "Fuck. Ass tumors!", but no, no, it's a frostbite on my right buttcheek.
Let me tell y'all, even at the age of 30, taking your pants off and mooning your father feels as weird as it did when I was a kid. Actually, no, it felt a thousand times worse.
He suggested rubbing warm olive oil on it.
It kinda helped, though left me with a slippery ass.
Just... just what the fuck...