The Official 2020 Everything But The Kitchen Sink Post

[BlueWidow]

You have hope or are trying. nothing wrong with that. And you are definitely trying. And we're kinda rooting for you ;)

Thanks :) I'm exhausting all my options before I think about ctb

Yeah @Squiddy, we're all rooting for you. And I agree it's good to exhaust all of your options because ctb is permanent, or it better damn well be because I don't intend end up back here again. Anyway, so it is best to exhaust all your options before you decide to go this route. Plus, if you've tried everything else, then no one can say that you didn't try. Well, they can still say it, but that doesn't mean it'll be true. At least you'll know you tried. A lot of times other people don't give us credit for all the trying that we do before we make the final decision to go ahead. But we know we tried, right?!
How many times you want to keep trying is up to you. In my own personal case, 36 years trying to overcome the depression and 25 years trying to overcome the thyroid problem with pretty much no results to show for it at all, but at least I tried.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

at least I tried

that's exactly how i feel. No one can tell me anything because i tried my best and i did it for as long as i did.

 

[Squiddy]

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Yeah @Squiddy, we're all rooting for you. And I agree it's good to exhaust all of your options because ctb is permanent, or it better damn well be because I don't intend end up back here again. Anyway, so it is best to exhaust all your options before you decide to go this route. Plus, if you've tried everything else, then no one can say that you didn't try. Well, they can still say it, but that doesn't mean it'll be true. At least you'll know you tried. A lot of times other people don't give us credit for all the trying that we do before we make the final decision to go ahead. But we know we tried, right?!
How many times you want to keep trying is up to you. In my own personal case, 36 years trying to overcome the depression and 25 years trying to overcome the thyroid problem with pretty much no results to show for it at all, but at least I tried.

This is my 8th year of therapy. If this doesn't go well, then I'll potentially try shrooms or acid once I get off some of these meds

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I'll potentially try shrooms or acid once I get off some of these meds

do that, highly recommended! and shrooms at least has been shown to be as efficacious as SSRIs on depression symptoms.

 

[Squiddy]

do that, highly recommended! and shrooms at least has been shown to be as efficacious as SSRIs on depression symptoms.

Reason I can't take them right now is because of my lithium and invega

 

[Carina]

Yep exactly what @BlueWidow and @Backwood_tilt said about the trying everything too.

Even if no one else cares, at least you yourself knows that you tried, and there wasn't anything else. It can be quite peaceful/calming to know that.

 

[BlueWidow]

This is my 8th year of therapy. If this doesn't go well, then I'll potentially try shrooms or acid once I get off some of these meds

I've actually heard some good things about both of those, as well as ketamine. I don't know how much any of those cost, but I've heard some of them or possibly all of them are at least somewhat effective, if not very effective. I do hope they're on the cusp of some major breakthroughs. It's going to be too late for me, but I really hope that they eventually find an answer and millions of people won't have to suffer the way they do now. If they're going to continue this current model they have where they focus on medicine as the answer, then they need to find the correct medicine, instead of just shoving pills and therapies that don't work at people.

do that, highly recommended! and shrooms at least has been shown to be as efficacious as SSRIs on depression symptoms.

In my case that's not a very ringing endorsement. I've been on all kinds of SSRIs and none of them did anything for me, except give me horrible side effects. I didn't feel the slightest bit better on any of them and I quit every one of them on my own without a doctor, cold turkey, and I didn't have any effects from it at all. I might as well have been taking sugar pills.
Exactly the same with the Synthroid for my thyroid problem. I would've been better off just buying sugar pills because at least they would've been cheaper and my thyroid still would've been slowly losing function for all those years.

 

[Carina]

I've actually heard some good things about both of those, as well as ketamine. I don't know how much any of those cost, but I've heard some of them or possibly all of them are at least somewhat effective, if not very effective. I do hope they're on the cusp of some major breakthroughs. It's going to be too late for me, but I really hope that they eventually find an answer and millions of people won't have to suffer the way they do now. If they're going to continue this current model they have where they focus on medicine as the answer, then they need to find the correct medicine, instead of just shoving pills and therapies that don't work at people.

In my case that's not a very ringing endorsement. I've been on all kinds of SSRIs and none of them did anything for me, except give me horrible side effects. I didn't feel the slightest bit better on any of them and I quit every one of them on my own without a doctor, cold turkey, and I didn't have any effects from it at all. I might as well have been taking sugar pills.
Exactly the same with the Synthroid for my thyroid problem. I would've been better off just buying sugar pills because at least they would've been cheaper and my thyroid still would've been slowly losing function for all those years.

Sometimes I hate how edits are together when you react lol

It so sucks when meds react different with people. Every single pill I've been given for antidepressants I blow though quickly (as in they work briefly, but my brain is like 'thanks, I'm immune now, so what's next?'
Normally I just don't need them longer... this time though? yeah... I'm here so that answers that.

 

[Squiddy]

I've actually heard some good things about both of those, as well as ketamine. I don't know how much any of those cost, but I've heard some of them or possibly all of them are at least somewhat effective, if not very effective. I do hope they're on the cusp of some major breakthroughs. It's going to be too late for me, but I really hope that they eventually find an answer and millions of people won't have to suffer the way they do now. If they're going to continue this current model they have where they focus on medicine as the answer, then they need to find the correct medicine, instead of just shoving pills and therapies that don't work at people.

In my case that's not a very ringing endorsement. I've been on all kinds of SSRIs and none of them did anything for me, except give me horrible side effects. I didn't feel the slightest bit better on any of them and I quit every one of them on my own without a doctor, cold turkey, and I didn't have any effects from it at all. I might as well have been taking sugar pills.
Exactly the same with the Synthroid for my thyroid problem. I would've been better off just buying sugar pills because at least they would've been cheaper and my thyroid still would've been slowly losing function for all those years.

Ketamine is way too expensive for me currently. I wish they would legalize psychedelics though

 

[Backwood_tilt]

@BlueWidow yeah im just speaking on the research that i _have_ seen but i haven't thoroughly investigated in a long time.

Speaking from experience, hallucinogenics have been a crucial part of my recovery, and from what i can observe it's done the same for the people around me. I've never heard anyone struggle with them the way they have with SSRIs.

 

[BlueWidow]

Ketamine is way too expensive for me currently. I wish they would legalize psychedelics though

Well, since they recently made mushrooms the lowest priority in Colorado, hopefully just like with marijuana, all the other states will follow suit. I guess they didn't technically legalize them like they did marijuana, but they made them a very low priority so you probably won't get arrested if you're in possession of mushrooms. I don't know if they would ever do anything with other psychedelics, but they should. If it was up to me, they'd just legalize everything and let people use whatever the hell they want to and have complete control over their own bodies and their own health. Then people wouldn't have to go begging doctors, which is probably the reason they don't legalize all of it. They know if they did a lot of doctors would be out of business and so with a lot of drug companies.

 

[Squiddy]

Well, since they recently made mushrooms the lowest priority in Colorado, hopefully just like with marijuana, all the other states will follow suit. I guess they didn't technically legalize them like they did marijuana, but they made them a very low priority so you probably won't get arrested if you're in possession of mushrooms. I don't know if they would ever do anything with other psychedelics, but they should. If it was up to me, they'd just legalize everything and let people use whatever the hell they want to and have complete control over their own bodies and their own health. Then people wouldn't have to go begging doctors, which is probably the reason they don't legalize all of it. They know if they did a lot of doctors would be out of business and so with a lot of drug companies.

I'd also make everything legal. I mean come on now, it's my body. You shouldn't be telling me what I can and can't put into it.

 

[BlueWidow]

@BlueWidow yeah im just speaking on the research that i _have_ seen but i haven't thoroughly investigated in a long time.

Speaking from experience, hallucinogenics have been a crucial part of my recovery, and from what i can observe it's done the same for the people around me. I've never heard anyone struggle with them the way they have with SSRIs.

Yeah, in a way it's kind of sad for me that all this stuff is coming to the forefront now when it's really too late. Even if I found some way to get over my depression, I'd still have my thyroid and everything else pulling me down, so it wouldn't really do me a lot of good. And over all of that is the fact that my husband is not here, and it's just not worth the struggle for me anymore. If they had done this 20 years ago, maybe something would be different right now.
Then again, if my husband wasn't here, it probably wouldn't be any different. I can't imagine any circumstance under which he is gone and I'm okay with that enough that I would be willing to try to build a life without him.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I'd still have my thyroid and everything else pulling me down, so it wouldn't really do me a lot of good. And over all of that is the fact that my husband is not here, and it's just not worth the struggle for me anymore

Yeah i know what you mean.

i still have my physical illness and am partnerless, so i don't even bother with the hallucinogenics right now. Doesn't make a difference to me.

 

[Carina]

Depression for me sucks. Being in 8/10 pain non stop.... with things to lower pain in me--that's what really kills me.

 

[BlueWidow]

Depression for me sucks. Being in 8/10 pain non stop.... with things to lower pain in me--that's what really kills me.

Yeah, And that's one of the things I think a lot of people don't get. Most people who are depressed are not just depressed. They've usually got several other issues on top of it.

 

[Carina]

Yeah, And that's one of the things I think a lot of people don't get. Most people who are depressed are not just depressed. They've usually got several other issues on top of it.

Yep. And that isn't even all of it. It's also why I'm going to the psychiatrist this friday, but, not really expecting much. I'm mainly just hoping that maybe, just maybe, I might get an accurate diagnosis just to see what is wrong with me.

 

[BlueWidow]

Yep. And that isn't even all of it. It's also why I'm going to the psychiatrist this friday, but, not really expecting much. I'm mainly just hoping that maybe, just maybe, I might get an accurate diagnosis just to see what is wrong with me.

I'd say it's better to have a diagnosis than not have a diagnosis. That's true.
You must be feeling more confident that you're going to be able to fake your way through it and not reveal your plans to anyone? I know you were a little worried about that the other day.

 

[Carina]

I'd say it's better to have a diagnosis than not have a diagnosis. That's true.
You must be feeling more confident that you're going to be able to fake your way through it and not reveal your plans to anyone? I know you were a little worried about that the other day.

Still am, but... just hoping I can lie enough to stay out of involuntary. Just not saying "active plans" should be enough for that

omg I just laughed at that... yeah probably shouldn't laugh if asked that--that'd get questioned. can't even type that with a straight face.

 

[Squiddy]

Still am, but... just hoping I can lie enough to stay out of involuntary. Just not saying "active plans" should be enough for that

omg I just laughed at that... yeah probably shouldn't laugh if asked that--that'd get questioned. can't even type that with a straight face.

Fortunately, I didn't get hospitalized for my self harm and passive suicidal thoughts

 

[Carina]

Fortunately, I didn't get hospitalized for my self harm and passive suicidal thoughts

yeah, catch with me is, the thoughts are active. And technically potentially event-time based. So they could have reason to detain me, or call the long-term stay place that keeps people for months. So have to keep that part out of it, or at least make them think it's not active and not with a time, and maybe that lithium stopped desire to actively do things (semi-true)

 

[Squiddy]

yeah, catch with me is, the thoughts are active. And technically potentially event-time based. So they could have reason to detain me, or call the long-term stay place that keeps people for months. So have to keep that part out of it, or at least make them think it's not active and not with a time, and maybe that lithium stopped desire to actively do things (semi-true)

Lithium killed my active suicidal thoughts.

 

[BlueWidow]

Still am, but... just hoping I can lie enough to stay out of involuntary. Just not saying "active plans" should be enough for that

omg I just laughed at that... yeah probably shouldn't laugh if asked that--that'd get questioned. can't even type that with a straight face.

Maybe you should practice saying it with a straight face in the mirror.

 

[Carina]

Maybe you should practice saying it with a straight face in the mirror.

dammit I just laughed thinking of it... yeah.... might have to..

well then, I just discovered a way to make myself laugh rofl

 

[Squiddy]

Med time

 

[BlueWidow]

Lithium killed my active suicidal thoughts.

Really?! I think that may be the one drug I've never been on. Of course, I think they only give it to bipolar people. correct? And I've never been diagnosed with bipolar, just straight up depression. Though I still know it's not just straight up depression because of the periods I have that I told you all about where my thoughts race and I can't sit still. I'm going to have to go back in the thread and find out what you all called that so I can look it up.

Med time

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@Jean4 will be proud and happy that you remembered them!

 

[Squiddy]

Really?! I think that may be the one drug I've never been on. Of course, I think they only give it to bipolar people. correct? And I've never been diagnosed with bipolar, just straight up depression. Though I still know it's not just straight up depression because of the periods I have that I told you all about where my thoughts race and I can't sit still. I'm going to have to go back in the thread and find out what you all called that so I can look it up.

They give it to people with depression who have really bad suicidal thoughts and you're probably thinking of mania

 

[BlueWidow]

They give it to people with depression who have really bad suicidal thoughts and you're probably thinking of mania

That's kind of odd because I've been depressed and had bad suicidal thoughts since I was 13 more or less and I don't think I've ever been offered lithium. I've been on just about every other drug there is for depression.

 

[Jean4]

Sleep is overrated

 

[Carina]

Really?! I think that may be the one drug I've never been on. Of course, I think they only give it to bipolar people. correct? And I've never been diagnosed with bipolar, just straight up depression. Though I still know it's not just straight up depression because of the periods I have that I told you all about where my thoughts race and I can't sit still. I'm going to have to go back in the thread and find out what you all called that so I can look it up.

Lithium is supposed to stop suicidal people from being suicidal too--it's like the "instant suicidal thought killing pill"

In me, it killed the countdown. But it came with a cost, I have no countdown, but it's because it can be any day without warning, or a time with a short warning. I never stopped doing things, I never stopped buying, I started doing more destructive behaviors... so really it just stopped a countdown.