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Oct 17, 2019
Just a note, I'm not actively trying to CTB right now, but I feel that it's the most likely way I'll eventually die... So I spend a lot of time thinking about, and researching various methods.. So that I'll be best informed when I eventually do make the decision. I feel strongly that we have the right to take our own lives, and I think it's really fucked up that it's so difficult to find resources and information. I'm glad this forum exists.

Here's my main ideas so far. I'm weighing their efficacy, amount of planning required, and expense.

* Jumping. For a long time I wasn't sure where I would do this, but recently I did a little research and found a bridge that is ~3 hours drive from my apartment. It's a bit taller than the Golden Gate. Given that only 4% of people survive the Golden Gate drop, I think this is a pretty safe bet.
Efficacy: At least 96%
Planning: Very little, just get in the car and go
Expense: Low, just have enough gas to get there ($25)

* Electrocution. I have this idea to take a car battery, hook up a power inverter to it. Probably with some kind of timer, and then connect the leads to my chest. Not sure whether front to back, or side to side would be better. Then it would send 120v and over 500amps straight through my heart. I think? I don't really understand enough about the physics to make sure this would work though. Definitely still needs more research.
Efficacy: ???
Planning: A bit, with acquiring the battery, inverter, and setting everything up
Expense: ~$100

* Gun. I don't have the ability to legally purchase a firearm, since I have been involuntarily committed before. But I found these world war 2 era flare guns.. It is possible to get what is called a "sub caliber adapter", that makes them work with different types of bullets. I can't remember off the top of my head, but I believe there were 2 different types and one of them supported shot gun shells.. Which would be more ideal for this circumstance. I am aware that the most effective place to aim is in your mouth, upwards a little bit.. To get the brain stem. It's apparently legal for me to buy both of these things separately.
Efficacy: ??? I don't know if I would fuck it up somehow. I would probably want to fire a test shot first to make sure everything worked properly. I'd probably also take a fuckload of Aspirin first, that way I'd bleed a lot.
Planning: Moderate to heavy... Requires buying the gun, subcaliber adapter, and bullets
Expense: Hundreds. Today I can't find a good site to buy the flare guns, but when I looked before it was at least a couple hundred.

* Driving into something at high speed. I've considered this for a long time. My dad actually tried to commit suicide this way when I was younger. He still wore his seatbelt, and survived. I wouldn't make that mistake. I'd probably do it on the highway, late at night (3am), find a straightaway and get as fast as possible (Over 100mph), no seatbelt, and drive into a column under an underpass or something.
Efficacy: I think this would be pretty efficient
Planning: Not too much
Expense: Not too much

* Drowning while tripping on Bendadryl. I used to use Benadryl recreationally, so I know how this would affect me. There's a railroad bridge at a hydroelectric dam near me. I'd be tripping on 1 gram of Benadryl or more, and have weights tied to my ankles.. Then I'd exhale and roll off the bridge into the water. I also just did a little research, and apparently you can buy "weight vests". So that might be a pretty good way to drag me down too instead of weights around my ankles.
Efficacy: I think this would be pretty efficient. I'd make sure to do the math of how much weight I would need to hold me down, that way there's no chance that I would float back up.
Planning: Minimal
Expense: Just the weights, not too much

* SN. This seems to be one of the most fabled, desirable ways to go according to this forum. I'm certainly interested in it, but I'm also concerned that I'd screw something up, like finding an impure source of it or something.
Planning: Moderate
Expense: Minimal

That's all for now. I might come back later to add more. If you have any comments or ideas about how to ensure things are more effective, please let me know.


The name's Cedrik
Jun 23, 2023
So jumping and electricution are a really painful way to go and I think would be a last resort.

The flare gun is a really interesting idea. The only problem would be the flare gun itself since I was able to find a store that sells 37mm to 12g adapters for flare guns for only 40€. Edit: the adapter only takes 12g flares but there are still other flare guns that can take bullets.

For the drowning I really don't have any experience with drugs so I don't have any idea how it would play out. high speed car crash I also don't know a lot about.

SN is the best way to go but don't forget about the antiemetics that are prescription only. That can be a problem.
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Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
Jumping probably best from your list. Electrocution sounds painful and unreliable.
Drowning after some anti histamine is not likely to work.
SN is massively over hyped it's prone fo failure and takes days of prep and planning, SI will kick in.

Toxic Waste

Apr 24, 2023
From this list I would say the gun method is the best and the electrocution method is the worst


Apr 15, 2022
I'd do more research on the jumping method, as far as your choice of location. Many jurisdictions have put in place very effective barriers to keep people from being able to climb to the top in order to do just what you're saying. I'd check it it out for certain.

I don't like the electrocution idea. I have no idea if your idea would even work. I don't think I'd want to be the guinea pig to try it only one time, the one time being the one that counts.

I have no idea what that type of gun and adapter is that you're talking about. If you go this route, just as you said, you really need to do some testing to make sure it will fire in the way you need it to. If this method is even plausible, I'd certainly use the adapter that fires shotgun shells.

I'd completely forget all about the driving into something at high speed. Too many variables are out of your control with this method.

The drowning scenario could work, I guess. I think the only way that weights can be effective, though, is if they are attached in such a way as to be unremovable by the person - chains with locks and no accessible key kept on your person when entering water.

SN. Hard to find anymore for most. Other drugs are necessary for peak effectiveness.

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