Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
I don’t have the money to go beyond books, movies, and tv which are readily available online. Due to being a neet, I’ve exhausted my available distractions.
LivideLamb
I'm so decaying, feeling like an ashtray
- Jan 5, 2020
- 270
Need energy to work and make money. Need energy to fill out paperwork to get gov't assistance. Need energy to not feel discouraged after you get rejected.
LivideLamb
I'm so decaying, feeling like an ashtray
- Jan 5, 2020
- 270
Most people probably live a very vague, meaningless and shallow life. So, sure, they go through it, but at what cost, and are they truly happy to live it? From what I see around me every 35/45+ years old adults still hasn't fulfilled their dreams and don't seem that happy :/
You know, I speak personally but, for me, I don't have energy because, well, depression. And honestly, it was a shock to find and comprehend that some people just live healthy life and have enough mental stability to just not jump in front of a train.
I'm sorry to tell you: there are no dreams. Nobody told you so. Its all chance, luck, temperament, time, etc. It's just at 35/40 reality sinks. And sometimes, there's nothing to achieve. You're born George Bush. Rich, future President or street urchin in the streets of a city in North Korea.
LivideLamb
I'm so decaying, feeling like an ashtray
- Jan 5, 2020
- 270
definitely agree.
I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, so I guess I shall never be a billionaire ; tragic. But yeah, no dreams no hope. I think the current state of the earth doesn't help.
I don't think we're truly ever happy for the choices we make in life even though we willingly made those choices. You can choose to do X to achieve Y or sit in stagnation and dream. It takes considerable willpower to turn dreams into actions. It would be great if everyone was born rich, but even if everyone was born rich, human nature decides that we need more. Your version of "rich" becomes the new baseline and suddenly you're poor again. My experiences in life have been shitty, lack of childhood, sexual abuse, and now marital abuse. I don't seek happiness much, I rather be content and in the middle rather than either end. At least I have control of that aspect of my life. If given the chance to get out of our situations, would you take it?
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,399
Death is a way and a choice. I use death as my safety net in life. I have SN and I can choose when my time comes to an end or not. Continue to live to see where things goes or is it more of the same BS, death will always be around, death will always be welcoming...knowing that brings me peace amidst the torment of life.
Aha. I know several really rich guys.
I wouldn't. I'm kind of religious. Spiritual. I'm thankful for this crappy life kind of. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Maybe it's hard to understand when I still want to ctb. I love life, hard to explain. I love my misery, joys, bitterness, irony, ..., good people in the world, etc. But I have Ctb as an option. Which I still I'm thankful for.
There is so much you can do when you’re not depressed and have a lot of motivation. As someone who was at some point ‘not-depressed’ (while on medication), I have experience of having the energy and motivation to do things. At my peak I was part of a book club, a fitness club, a group for games, I regularly went to parties, regularly saw friends, I ran at least twice a week, went the extra mile for appearance and so many other things. Now that I’m depressed again, being able to shower, make myself food and tidy the kitchen after is a good day.
A lot of people can adult because they are mentally healthy and have the energy.
A lot of people can adult because they are mentally healthy and have the energy.
Cashewmilk
Specialist
- Mar 10, 2020
- 349
Completely agreed. I sort of know what it feels like to have that perky energy and motivation, because I've had some rare days where I've had it, but it goes away very quickly within a few hours or a day. And when I have that, I know that normal people have 100x more than this and now I can understand how most people persevere and fight or glide through life, and come out on top from the bottom. Unfortunately I have never had that, and most likely never will. And these people will probably never know what it feels like to be totally inadequate and incompetent, and useless, they'll say it's laziness and entitlement, but it's not. It's not laziness if I'm in constant pain and fatigue all the time, and am sick or feeling unwell most of the time, or feeling like there is a huge burden on my shoulders and it feels like a mountain, or like there is no way out. Trust me, I've gone through my options over and over, and I just don't have many. CTB is pretty much the only option that will bring me relief, everything else is torture and horrifying. I absolutely wasn't prepared for adulthood at all, I was dragged and forced throughout school and dropped out in highschool, attempted my first CTB at 14, and fell into a long drug addiction at 21. I'm still in my addiction but it's sort of manageable right now, but it's going nowhere and my health is getting worse, and I don't even want to stop using. I just want to die, I don't want to do life I don't want to be a wage slave and work most of my life and barely have time to do anything for myself. Life is just so pointless it's painfully true.
signifying nothing
-
- Sep 13, 2020
- 2,553
I try to take the view that when I'm depressed and doing very little I'm at least minimising my effect on the planet.
I wonder too how much of what people do is just unproductive flailing, they too just trying to fill the time until they can die.
I wonder too how much of what people do is just unproductive flailing, they too just trying to fill the time until they can die.
Deleted member 17949
Visionary
- May 9, 2020
- 2,240
Honestly I don’t mind being alone to much. I chat with people online and am still relatively close to my parents as I live with them. I’d be content if I didn’t have mental health issues
I think most people get through adulthood by keeping their head in the clouds. This is how I do it and it’s really a self preservation tactic my brain uses to keep me from killing myself. I can’t tell you how many lives I’ve lived inside my head. It must be what’s it’s like to be an actor, experiencing a lifetime of events in a few months of shooting then moving on to the next life never really having to be you except in between jobs. That’s probably why Hollywood is such shit, eventually these people have to come back to reality and they realize how absurd it is so they abuse drugs/alcohol, get a divorce because they hate the person they married for the wrong reasons and then escape back into a role or self destruct. But I digress, we all live a terrible lie, are you able to accept the role and play the part or are you too lucid to fall for the trick in which case you might as well **** yourself, you’re already dead.