the little bit of hope i had left is now gone.

[bambibambam]

this is gonna be sort of a vent post, but recently i made a post on here about being a NEET/hikikomori girl who wanted to look for a job. i have been extremely unlucky so far and one of my applications was flat out rejected which i get, i knew it wasn't supposed to be easy considering i never finished high school due to constant bullying which led me to withdrawn completely from society. i was doomed from the start. i'm so scared. i was hoping if i could get a steady income maybe things would be slightly better for me, and that i'd finally have a way to purchase SN since i found a source but now i'm scared because i don't have any money, and eventually my mom will get sick of me and kick me out soon. i'm really terrified and don't know what to do with my situation.

 

[Judah]

I remember when you posted that you needed to find a job, it's unfortunate to feel like doors are closing on you. I was Neet for 6 months until I recently managed to find a remote job, but it's very hard when you have nothing.
So I hope you can find a way around your bad situation, where have you tried to look for a job?

 

[Linda]

One way or another, you have to get out into the world and start doing things. You could set yourself a very easy goal first, and then achieve that goal. Then set one that is slightly harder, and so on. Once you are more confortable getting out there, you will be better placed when it comes to getting a job.

Is there a reason you were bulied at school?

 

[FireFox]

Hello OP

I was unemployed for 2 years because of the covid19 pandemic which came months later after graduating university. During that period I thouht I would never get a job but I did get one after 3rd lockdown ended in my country. I got my first part time job at 24 and then my first full time job at 25.

I understand how you feel unemployment is frustrating because the fate of your application is in the hands of that 1 recruiter or hiring manager. Being unemployed I have had moments where I felt so powerless, hopeless and alone as no one around me was understanding because they all had jobs to go.

My advice:

● Find a learning institution to finish your high school education so you can get that certificate. What country do you live in? Different countries have adult education programmes for people who didn't finish high school.

● do volunteer work if you can afford it because it helped me meet people and learn new skills and get references for job applications. This helped me find a job

● don't let the rejections get to you. It is NOT your fault the job market isn't fair. Our parents could walk in to any job they wanted our generation doesn't have that.

● YouTube has excellent rescources on how to get your CV noticed and to do better in applications and interviews. It helped me a lot

Unemployment is pure hell, I am unemployed again but my experiences have taught me and now I can say to you. You will find a job. It may not feel like it now trust me an employer will one day notice your potential and the good things you have and will hire you.

 

[bambibambam]

One way or another, you have to get out into the world and start doing things. You could set yourself a very easy goal first, and then achieve that goal. Then set one that is slightly harder, and so on. Once you are more confortable getting out there, you will be better placed when it comes to getting a job.

Is there a reason you were bulied at school?

i know but i made an effort and had an interview last week, i guess it was quite obvious that i had social anxiety but i really tried my best to seem outgoing.

as for a reason for being bullied : i was always "weird" and overall a very troubled kid. i was diagnosed very late with autism so i never got the help i needed. i was socially awkward and a little chubby and it didn't help that i was the only asian girl in my classes, + my english vocabulary wasn't the best so i was always targeted. i lost a lot of weight tho and focused a lot on my physical appearance but it was too late..by that point i dropped out completely during the 9th grade because the bullying got to me, it was very intense and sometimes it was physical. so i'd just walk out the school crying and eventually just stopped going and isolated myself.

 

[FireFox]

I remember when you posted that you needed to find a job, it's unfortunate to feel like doors are closing on you. I was Neet for 6 months until I recently managed to find a remote job, but it's very hard when you have nothing.
So I hope you can find a way around your bad situation, where have you tried to look for a job?

@Bread with milk Unemployment is frustrating because the fate of your application is in the hands of that 1 recruiter or hiring manager. Being unemployed I have had moments where I felt so powerless, hopeless and alone as no one around me was understanding because they all had jobs to go.

Older People do not get it. They really don't. Older people were so lucky they could walk into any job they wanted and had a chance of an interview. My generation we do not have that. 1 job vacancy 100s of people are applying, employers have high demands of what they want in an employee even trainee and entry level jobs they want 3 years experience.

Congratulations on getting a job.

 

[Judah]

Older People do not get it. They really don't. Older people were so lucky they could walk into any job

Not anymore, lately it has become common to be rejected from a job for being "overqualified"

Congratulations on getting a job.

Thanks!

 

[FireFox]

i know but i made an effort and had an interview last week, i guess it was quite obvious that i had social anxiety but i really tried my best to seem outgoing.

as for a reason for being bullied : i was always "weird" and overall a very troubled kid. i was diagnosed very late with autism so i never got the help i needed. i was socially awkward and a little chubby and it didn't help that i was the only asian girl in my classes, + my english vocabulary wasn't the best so i was always targeted. i lost a lot of weight tho and focused a lot on my physical appearance but it was too late..by that point i dropped out completely during the 9th grade because the bullying got to me, it was very intense and sometimes it was physical. so i'd just walk out the school crying and eventually just stopped going and isolated myself.

@bambibambam222 I was the werid girl who also got builled too and being a black girl at school I experienced misogynistic bullying from the black boys in my class and racist bullying from the white boys at school.

I always getting into fights at school and being the school outsider was lonely. I had a section of the school population who hated me and made my life hell and another section didn't want to know me and excluded me from their friendship groups.

One of the boys I had a crush on at school I thought he was different but he was like everyone else at school who thought I was the werid girl and didn't want to be seen with me at school.

I do not miss school.

Not anymore, lately it has become common to be rejected from a job for being "overqualified"

Thanks!

@Bread with milk Really I didn't know that. I get rejected for not having enough experience even in entry level and trainee positions it is so frustrating.

 

[Enigma the orange]

i know but i made an effort and had an interview last week, i guess it was quite obvious that i had social anxiety but i really tried my best to seem outgoing.

as for a reason for being bullied : i was always "weird" and overall a very troubled kid. i was diagnosed very late with autism so i never got the help i needed. i was socially awkward and a little chubby and it didn't help that i was the only asian girl in my classes, + my english vocabulary wasn't the best so i was always targeted. i lost a lot of weight tho and focused a lot on my physical appearance but it was too late..by that point i dropped out completely during the 9th grade because the bullying got to me, it was very intense and sometimes it was physical. so i'd just walk out the school crying and eventually just stopped going and isolated myself.

Go back to school, look at a trade you can study? You don't need a job yet, focus on gaining some qualifications or learning a trade.

 

[Linda]

i know but i made an effort and had an interview last week, i guess it was quite obvious that i had social anxiety but i really tried my best to seem outgoing.

as for a reason for being bullied : i was always "weird" and overall a very troubled kid. i was diagnosed very late with autism so i never got the help i needed. i was socially awkward and a little chubby and it didn't help that i was the only asian girl in my classes, + my english vocabulary wasn't the best so i was always targeted. i lost a lot of weight tho and focused a lot on my physical appearance but it was too late..by that point i dropped out completely during the 9th grade because the bullying got to me, it was very intense and sometimes it was physical. so i'd just walk out the school crying and eventually just stopped going and isolated myself.

I'm very sorry to hear how you were treated. Bullying is dreadful, but at least there will probably be less of it outside a school environment.

If you want to start making something of your life you have to find a way to tackle the social anxiety. You may never be rid of it entirely, but you may learn to manage it so it's much less of a problem. Is there anywhere you can get to interact with a fairly small number of people, who you will see regularly (so you get used to them)? It's always easier to interact with people you know. That would be a first step. You have to make some kind of first step befor you can go further.

I'm not autistic, but when I was younger I was not very comfortable interacting with large numbers of complete strangers. But I found that it gets easier with practice. Now, after a career in the business world, I can do it with what appears to outsiders to be supreme confidence - but in fact I still don't really like interacting with large numbers of complete strangers. (I can talk to an audience easily, because there is less interaction involved, but I'm still not comfortable working my way around a group of people at a party.) You can improve this. But it won't improve without some effort from you.

Does that make any sense?

 

[bambibambam]

I remember when you posted that you needed to find a job, it's unfortunate to feel like doors are closing on you. I was Neet for 6 months until I recently managed to find a remote job, but it's very hard when you have nothing.
So I hope you can find a way around your bad situation, where have you tried to look for a job?

yeah.. i took some advice from the comments in that original post and got an interview for a warehouse job last thursday, i thought i did an okay job at presenting myself and then i got an email this morning saying they won't go further with my application.

 

[Judah]

saying they won't go further with my application.

I've had to read that message hundreds of times in my email, and it's frustrating too.

 

[bambibambam]

@bambibambam222 I was the werid girl who also got builled too and being a black girl at school I experienced misogynistic bullying from the black boys in my class and racist bullying from the white boys at school.

I always getting into fights at school and being the school outsider was lonely. I had a section of the school population who hated me and made my life hell and another section didn't want to know me and excluded me from their friendship groups.

One of the boys I had a crush on at school I thought he was different but he was like everyone else at school who thought I was the werid girl and didn't want to be seen with me at school.

I do not miss school.

@Bread with milk Really I didn't know that. I get rejected for not having enough experience even in entry level and trainee positions it is so frustrating.

i'm really sorry, human beings can be so cruel. i still can't fathom how badly other children can treat each other but i guess it's just life, i unfortunately wasn't strong enough to deal with it and just constantly ran away and i guess the consequences of running away and not furthering my education has caught up to me now.

 

[FireFox]

i'm really sorry, human beings can be so cruel. i still can't fathom how badly other children can treat each other but i guess it's just life, i unfortunately wasn't strong enough to deal with it and just constantly ran away and i guess the consequences of running away and not furthering my education has caught up to me now.

@bambibambam222 Don't feel bad there are many people who have similar stories of not finishing high school due to severe bullying, mental illness and family problems.

It is just not talked about enough in society. More people will talk about how awesome secondary school/high school was than how difficult it really was.

Good luck with everything I am rooting for you

 

[dragonofenvy]

I'm in a similar situation to you. I quit my job last month because of how much of a toll it was taking on both my mind and body, and how I was treated as nothing more than a tool instead of a person. I've been shotgun-blasting my applications to various places, but even when I think I'm doing a good job it's not good enough.

But it's not actually your fault, much of it is actually the employer's. This article and this video may be of interest to you. In a nutshell, some employers are posting ghost job openings to make themselves look better to investors since it makes it look like the company is growing, or to take your information and sell it on a database, or have you on a "talent pool." I encourage you to try to apply to many jobs. I made the mistake of just doing one or two at a time, but now I'm getting lots of interviews since I applied to lots of places. It gives me a lot more options instead of feeling pressure to accept the first thing that comes my way. To be fair though you then have to go through a lot more effort, and might need to deal with a lot more interviews which does suck. Also, anecdotally, it still hasn't worked out for me, but again I blame employers. I get asked when I can do an interview, I tell them when, and then I'm ghosted. Perhaps because it's a ghost job?

I used to think the people who said you have to apply to dozens, hundreds of places were exaggerating. Now I'm beginning to think they may be right. It's hard for me especially since I live in an area with a low population, which means a low amount of jobs. Keep going with it and eventually, you might land something. At the very least, it's at least proof that you're trying so that your mom can hopefully understand that you're putting in the effort and not kick you out. Various agencies also help unemployed people get jobs. I don't know how those work, I've only used them once, and they kind of just forced me into a job I didn't like, but at least it was enough money to live in an apartment. I'm considering using them again. Maybe that's an option?

But don't blame yourself. Recruiters have unrealistic expectations. They want the absolute perfect candidate and refuse to compromise. But there are still some that are more than willing to give you a chance. They gave me a chance. I don't see why they wouldn't give you one.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sadly, it's very common to be rejected from jobs. Not hear anything at all, get into a short list and then be dropped for someone else. It doesn't always seem to matter how well educated or qualified you are. A friend has a degree and plenty of experience but has had enormous trouble finding work recently. I have two degrees and I must have been rejected from loads of jobs by now.

In terms of wage slave, retail work, I actually had a much easier time when I was young and inexperienced. Last year, I got rejected by a chain company that in the past, I worked for for 9 years! It was a case of- 'The computer says no.' It was all online. I've never learnt to lie on those aptitude tests...

It can be all sorts of reasons though. We are always in competition with other people. Sometimes, hundreds of other people. Employers will simply opt for the person they think will be best. Doesn't necessarily mean you weren't good. It's just there was likely someone else who had more relevant experience. That they thought would fit in better with the people already employed there. That was more enthusiastic about the job role and likely to stay in the job. Could be anything.

It's a horrible phrase but- it is just life unfortunately. All you can do is keep going. Really though- I think that's part of the problem. We aren't told that it's normal to have these struggles and disappointents when looking for work when I think, a lot of the time, it is.

It actually helped me so much when I was about to leave uni that a former student came to the end if year show. He gave a brief speech and said- 'You've all got a rough few years ahead.' That was so valuable though- to know that it's normal to struggle to begin with. Otherwise, you'd assume the reason you were failing was because you were just crap. I hope you do get a positive response soon. All you can do is to keep trying and know that you aren't alone in being rejected. Good luck!