the impact of me ctb will had in my loved ones

[illbedead]

I feel so sad for my family when they get the notice. i really dont want to bring such an awfull event to their lives. we have never lived something like that in our family or close. but have had enough of life's bullshit like everyone else in this world.
but ctb no, i'll be me that present that to them. i would love to pretect them from going thru something like this. i have a little sister that dont deserve to loss the one sister that gets her. dont want to cooperate with her struggle and depression, dont want her to be worst or follow my steps. also i help my brother with his little daughter and im the one he prefers cus he trust me. i dont want my little angel to miss me, or my brother to feel more alone in his prenting journey…and i could keep going, but stuff like that. but at the same time, i have my own agony and shit, im sure of the decision of go. and know that this decision will be the only bad selfish decision that i'll take for myself. putting me first for once. but still pretty hard to forgive myself for doing it.

 

[Vizzy]

I feel so sad for my family when they get the notice. i really dont want to bring such an awfull event to their lives. we have never lived something like that in our family or close. but have had enough of life's bullshit like everyone else in this world.
but ctb no, i'll be me that present that to them. i would love to pretect them from going thru something like this. i have a little sister that dont deserve to loss the one sister that gets her. dont want to cooperate with her struggle and depression, dont want her to be worst or follow my steps. also i help my brother with his little daughter and im the one he prefers cus he trust me. i dont want my little angel to miss me, or my brother to feel more alone in his prenting journey…and i could keep going, but stuff like that. but at the same time, i have my own agony and shit, im sure of the decision of go. and know that this decision will be the only bad selfish decision that i'll take for myself. putting me first for once. but still pretty hard to forgive myself for doing it.

Don't worry, your parents have other kids so they will move on to take care of the other kids, yes it will cause pain temporarily but at some point they have to move on to take care of other kids

You brother and sister will think about you sometimes but as they grow they have to take care of their stuffs so eventually thinking about you will be minimal

You death will be hurting but it ain't gonna destroy their life, if you are only kid to your parents that's different but it is not like that in your case

Hope you find peace

 

[MusicEnjoyer:D]

I feel the same way, and i'm in a similar situation. I think they will forgive us, eventually, and understand the pain was so big we had to leave them behind.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

If i CTB the impact on my loved ones would be horrible, unfortunately they wouldn't be able to ever understand this step. And unfortunately this is probably the main reason why I'm still here. So sad.

 

[SoftWorries]

As someone who's had suicide in my family it had a very big impact.

For my family it split us apart entirely. I'm not in contact with any of them as a direct impact of the death. I'm suicidal as a direct impact of the death/having been witness to a violent death.

But you can't live for them. It's too much to ask of a person to suffer so they don't hurt others. There's no way not to feel loss when you lose someone. I think there's a way to come to terms knowing that the ones you leave behind will be in pain but also feel solidity about your decision

Your loved ones don't live in your mind. If they did you'd probably want them to have freedom from pain. Only you can understand what it's like to be you

 

[FuneralCry]

The fact is that even if suicide makes other people feel sad, none of us are obligated to continue existing, if people don't wish to deal with loss then they shouldn't so selfishly procreate, making a decision that one has every right to make could never be "bad", it's a personal choice deciding when to leave, after all we are destined for nowhere but to die anyway and in death everything will be forgotten about for us. Eventually we very likely won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here, it's just the reality, death is the most normal thing and in comparison existence is so meaningless and impermanent.