Discussion The humane thing to do

[onthefence]

I had an idea epiphany today- I don't have to keep doing this. I have a way out that is likely effective and not super painful. I just need to get over knowing that my family will hate me for it and they will struggle. I hope that if I actually manage to CTB they will realize I did it because the pain and fatigue are just too much. Leaving is the humane option for me. My issues are never going to go away and I'm so tired of fighting to figure out why I should live. Has anyone here known someone who CTBed and felt like it was the right thing for them? And was able to forgive them for not being able to hold on any more?

 

[TheHolySword]

I can't say if it was the right thing for them because I did not know what they were going through. But I can say I was never angry or upset with them. I forgave them immediately. It hurt like hell though and it still does. It's been over 5 years and I still think about and miss them every single day. It broke my heart realizing how dark and alone things must have been. I spent a lot of time wondering if things could have been different if I had known what I did not. But in the end it's okay they couldn't hold on. I just hope they aren't suffering anymore. I hope they're happy and I hope they're at peace.

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

I can't read minds, so I don't know what the person I knew was going through either. I don't know if it was the right thing for them either, everything seemed like things they could recover from where I was, but I'll never know how much mental anguish they were going through. But I'm not angry with them for CTBing, and I can see why they did what they did. I don't feel like CTBing is something you have to apologize for. Yes, it impacted me very harshly, but it was their own life, and they chose their own way on how they wanted to handle things.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't know anybody personally who has killed themselves yet but, if they were to kill themselves, I wouldn't really feel sad because I don't think that death is bad for the being who is dead. My sister died via a natural death and I never felt sad about it. Instead I felt happy because she was no longer suffering but I couldn't show this happiness to anybody because apparently that would make me seem like somebody who is evil even though I don't understand why. People act like death is an evil but it honestly isn't. I have yet to see a valid argument as to how death is bad for the being who is dead

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand feeling so tired of suffering, I also just wish to be free from this painful existence, it sounds like you've suffered a lot, I hope you find the peace you search for.