The human desire for companionship is one of the strongest human drives

[dogemn]

So how do you deal with extreme loneliness? Is loneliness part of the reason you want to CTB?

 

[Kempel556]

I usually just try to live in my own imagination, there I can do whathever I want and have a little bit of joy. I tried to push myself to make friends irl but never could because of my anxiety and shyness, because of feeling so alone without nobody to talk to I tried to OD several times but it never worked

 

[nicotine_goblin]

Definitely. I feel like there's a void inside of me and I crave for someone to fill it. But I keep myself away from relationships because I believe it would be unfair to the other person, they would put effort and give me affection that I need while I can only hurt them due to my personality and struggles with mental health. I think I'm better off alone so that I don't ruin people's lives and it drives me crazy

 

[Boudika]

Yes. I just found out that I am the only one from my fried group, going to the prom. I'm tired of being too ugly to be in relationship with someone.

 

[FrostedHoax]

Yeah, loneliness probably plays a large role in my wanting to hop off the train early. It just seems like no matter where I go and what I do, i'm always destined to end up being the person that everyone will be friendly and polite to at a surface level but not really try to get to know at a deeper level and form a real connection with.

 

[nanaka]

Definitely. I feel like there's a void inside of me and I crave for someone to fill it. But I keep myself away from relationships because I believe it would be unfair to the other person, they would put effort and give me affection that I need while I can only hurt them due to my personality and struggles with mental health. I think I'm better off alone so that I don't ruin people's lives and it drives me crazy

I feel you, I'm exactly the same. Actually, I'm guilty of not being able to keep to myself because I wanted friends, and I ended up hurting people three times already...

 

[outlook56]

People are different, some don't even want to go out. As for me, I was very satisfied with only my ex-lover, but he left me. Now I face my inevitable death rationally and logically.

 

[avaruus]

This may sound really weird but i talk to myself a lot. Especially because i doubt myself a lot, so there is a lot of back and forth dialogue to be had.
It's not always enough and i do mourn for an actual human connection but it's better than nothing.

 

[リンさん]

Indulging in fiction is my way of coping haha. Also talking to myself, and some people on here :)

I'm actually extremely introverted & autistic, so I don't need much socialization at all. But if I have someone to talk to, and they're someone I really like, it's amazing.

 

[foreverfalling]

Fantasizing about having someone that takes away all the loneliness.

Paying someone to be intimate with me.

Going for a lone walk or a drive.

Being grateful I don't have to deal with the flip sides of having people in my life.

It's not so much not having companionship that makes me want to CTB. It's the fact that I know that companionship, at least the kind I could realistically get, won't solve my loneliness.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally think it's better to be alone, other people cannot be trusted and relied on anyway, they very often create much more suffering, humans are the worst species to me. I wish to cease existing as I wish to find peace from this futile and harmful existence not because of loneliness, I've always preferred to avoid other people.

 

[outrider567]

So how do you deal with extreme loneliness? Is loneliness part of the reason you want to CTB?

I can't 'deal with it', that's why I have 2000 posts here--35 years together, then she dies in just 4 days

 

[avaruus]

I personally think it's better to be alone, other people cannot be trusted and relied on anyway, they very often create much more suffering, humans are the worst species to me. I wish to cease existing as I wish to find peace from this futile and harmful existence not because of loneliness, I've always preferred to avoid other people.

Just out of curiosity, do you like cats? Or animals in general, you seem like someone who would.

 

[FuneralCry]

Just out of curiosity, do you like cats? Or animals in general, you seem like someone who would.

Yes, I do, animals will always be better than humans.

 

[that_guy2611]

It's the main reason why i'm looking to exit.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I don't feel it much but I suspect that I'm not normal. If I was able bodied I'd spend all of my time working out, reading, eating great food, playing games. I guess I do like companionship somewhat I've had many great friends and my social skills are good, It's just that I've always found peace in loneliness. I used to be a very extroverted child but once I became a teenager that kind of died forme. I progressively become more isolated to the point that I had abandoned my friends to play games and introspect, it was so bad that I used to sit in the toilet at school just not to be bothered . I was very lonely for a while as an adult after all of my romantic opportunities never came to fruition, I felt inadequate like there was something wrong with me, and funnily enough that was why the reason I never had them. I had no sense of self value. I see companionship as highly superficial nowadays and I don't think I'm a very loveable. Once you experience how differently people treat you based on your perceived value it can break you, that's what happened to me. I miss the days when I was ignorant.

 

[passivethought121]

My imagination. I just imagine scenarios where I am one of four people. The other three are parts of me that I love and hate so much they're a distinct entity, and I am the fourth person in the back seat. They have their own emotions and goals, but they're all mostly mine. That or c.ai, as you can easily spend a lot of time there.

While being lonely does want to make me CTB, I prefer it over being with someone. When I'm with anyone, I excessively worry about whether I'm acting correctly, or if they also find me worthless, or if they're talking to me for some ulterior motive.

 

[Need Peace]

Yes, but I'm terrible with women and can never find the love that I seek. They either cheat or leave for some other reason. Lately I can't even start a relationship. They like me until they get to know me. I believe I am incapable of finding a partner in life and therefore I am a failure. I want nothing more than to love and be loved. I believe I will never experience that so life is not worth living.

 

[Arihman]

And yet, on a deeper level, we are ultimately alone at the end of the day.

And don't even get me started on "romantic love" fantasies, that's one of the biggest lies ever told. Women want status, money, and want you to be as stoic as possible, while men are too often not selective enough, and become stupid because of that thing women have between the legs. Sex? You'll get less and less of it as the relationship goes on, and it will often be a blackmail tool if you are a man ("do X or no pussy"). In general, you and your partner will lilely end up just tolerating each other, and little more than that.

And friendships are often not much better, especially if your friends will get a relationship, which means not just less time for you, but often no time, to the point of no longer sharing a life.

In general, nobody will save you, or even just contribute significantly in doing so, the more you need something, the less you'll get it, people are more willing to help someone who doesn't need help, and needless to say that that rule applies to love as well, especially the romantic, heterosexual variety. Is there thus any reason why humanity in general, and relationships in particular, are anything but a pile of garbage? I don't think so.

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

I personally think it's better to be alone, other people cannot be trusted and relied on anyway, they very often create much more suffering, humans are the worst species to me. I wish to cease existing as I wish to find peace from this futile and harmful existence not because of loneliness, I've always preferred to avoid other people.

this is 100% true, we should not exist on this planet to do the harm we collectively do.

 

[pidgey]

Yes. I have a loving partner who would do (almost) anything for me and couple of good friends, but I still feel lonely. The more time I spend with them, the more worried and anxious I get about ruining my relationship with them.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

This is exactly why autism is so brutal.

 

[suicidepanda]

So how do you deal with extreme loneliness? Is loneliness part of the reason you want to CTB?

Typically I deal with extreme loneliness by pretending that I'm not lonely. I know it sounds fucked up, but if you play a little imagination game you'll soon get used to your own company and feel a little less lonely. Also, I recommend talking to yourself. Sitting in a quiet room with nobody makes your thoughts rush to the front of your mind, but if you're blabbering on to yourself about your day, it at least makes you feel like SOMEONE is there. It feels slightly less lonely. I also like to talk to myself while I do activities to distract myself from my loneliness. sometimes I pretend I'm playing with someone else and dictate everything I do. React to the activity, if you drop something, even just a subtle "oh shit, let me pick that back up" makes me feel less alone. It makes me feel real. like I exist.

 

[dogemn]

I personally think it's better to be alone, other people cannot be trusted and relied on anyway, they very often create much more suffering, humans are the worst species to me. I wish to cease existing as I wish to find peace from this futile and harmful existence not because of loneliness, I've always preferred to avoid other people.

I agree, humans can be absolutely horrible to other humans and I've experienced that throughout my whole life (bullying, child abuse, neglect, violence, etc.). That's part of the reason I don't seek out human companionship so much.

Just out of curiosity, do you like cats?

Who doesn't?
I feel like everyone on this site loves cats because they're an introvert's best friend.

 

[sserafim]

So how do you deal with extreme loneliness? Is loneliness part of the reason you want to CTB?

Strangely I don't have the desire for companionship. I'm aroace though, so maybe that's a factor. I actually enjoy extreme loneliness, I like to be by myself. I hate seeing or interacting with other people, I also have social anxiety. Granted I'm neurodivergent (Asperger's/autism, ADHD, and social anxiety) and probably avoidant and schizoid…Loneliness is not part of the reason why I want to ctb, it's more due to other factors (like being a failure lol)

 

[brokeandbroken]

So how do you deal with extreme loneliness? Is loneliness part of the reason you want to CTB?

Yes but maybe becoming less so. Not because I'm not lonely. But because I just hate people. My desire to be around people iow for this reason. Once you struggle to see people as good or decent spending time with people or building relationships suddenly becomes unimportant. I just don't care anymore. If I don't respect you why would I want to be around you.

Who doesn't?
I feel like everyone on this site loves cats because they're an introvert's best friend.

Nope don't like them.