Discussion The Good in Suffering

[wilted_biography]

Yes, suffering in general feels as cursed as it gets with an endless laundry list of negative aspects….BUT…

Is there a personal up-side to your pain? I feel as though it has carved me into a simpler, kinder, more modest human being with a real sense of deepened empathy and compassion. Widened patience. More giving and generous with my time. And a true feel for myself and the world.

Is there any "positive" benefit you see within yourself due to your immense experience with pain?

 

[hush hush]

Yes, suffering in general feels as cursed as it gets with an endless laundry list of negative aspects….BUT…

Is there a personal up-side to your pain? I feel as though it has carved me into a simpler, kinder, more modest human being with a real sense of deepened empathy and compassion. Widened patience. Mostly non-reactivity. With a true feel for myself and the world.

Is there any "positive" benefit you see within yourself due to your immense experience with pain?

"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in suffering" Nietzsche
Life is a process of trying to rationalize the suffering brought about by your existence. Personally, I find no meaning in suffering, since the aim of life is killing your time until time kills you. I cannot rationalize it so I would be more than willing to give back "the gift of life". Certainly, the less suffering you experience, the less likely it is to question life.

 

[toasterbath]

yeah but i now see being an INFP and having a lot of empathy/compassion/emotional intelligence as a bad thing. i get used by other people a lot, stepped on, and i've helped other people too much to the point where i should have been focusing on myself. it's a cold world where you need to be a wolf to get ahead.

 

[8evergo]

Yes, suffering in general feels as cursed as it gets with an endless laundry list of negative aspects….BUT…

Is there a personal up-side to your pain? I feel as though it has carved me into a simpler, kinder, more modest human being with a real sense of deepened empathy and compassion. Widened patience. More giving and generous with my time. And a true feel for myself and the world.

Is there any "positive" benefit you see within yourself due to your immense experience with pain?

yes :

life is pain

 

[Someone123]

If it's a reasonable amount of pain that's one thing, it there is real hope of getting your life to work that's one thing, but when it leads to ctb it is not worth whatever you can learn from it.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I could never see suffering as being positive. To me all suffering is unnecessary and I would have been better off without it. Life is completely meaningless and it is just a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it. If I never existed I would have avoided all this pain. I was perfectly fine not existing until I was forced to live.

I think that people try to see pain as being positive in some way as they do not want to accept that it has no purpose and it is a way to cope with how life has treated them. The truth is, that life is random and everything is determined by luck and chance. Some people are just unlucky in life. The cruelty and unfairness of life is so horrifying and that is all that suffering will ever be to me.

 

[8evergo]

If it's a reasonable amount of pain that's one thing, it there is real hope of getting your life to work that's one thing, but when it leads to ctb it is not worth whatever you can learn from it.

life is pain yes I have experienced so much pain or do you think because of a pain people want to go know what unforeseen pain I suffer how can you cope with something like that

 

[Someone123]

life is pain yes I have experienced so much pain or do you think because of a pain people want to go know what unforeseen pain I suffer how can you cope with something like that

There are no easy answer. I do wish I knew what I know now when I was younger, my life would have turned out much better.

 

[obafgkm]

Suffering makes sense if there is potentially greater good ahead. Pure suffering, like illness with no chance of recovery, is meaningless.

 

[ExtraordinaryDefeat_]

Yes, suffering in general feels as cursed as it gets with an endless laundry list of negative aspects….BUT…

Is there a personal up-side to your pain? I feel as though it has carved me into a simpler, kinder, more modest human being with a real sense of deepened empathy and compassion. Widened patience. More giving and generous with my time. And a true feel for myself and the world.

Is there any "positive" benefit you see within yourself due to your immense experience with pain?

Suffering made me sentinent and full of compassion towards people suffering mentally. My intelligence also seems to have increased because of my "awakening". I'm also mentally stronger than an average person (who hasn't experienced a depressive episode, ofc). I also learned to be grateful towards little things I have and I often have those magical moments where I'm just focused on listening to my favourite album or petting my cat. Those moments are priceless for me.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I think there can some value in suffering. It could build resilience, among other things….like others have said, empathy, compassion, gratitude.

I used to feel like there was an upside to my suffering. Now it feels like there's no benefit. I feel like I've regressed back into the total piece of shit I was in 2020. Fuck.

Anyway. Yes there can be some benefits, I guess it just depends on the person and their circumstances, etc. :|

 

[Callie Arcale]

Living with debilitating, chronic pain has zero up sides. There's no wisdom, no dignity, no lessons. There's only suffering. Meaningless, endless suffering.

 

[Rapière]

I feel as though it has carved me into a simpler, kinder, more modest human being with a real sense of deepened empathy and compassion

Suffering made me sentinent and full of compassion towards people suffering mentally

It could build resilience, among other things….like

Can someone explain to me why empathy is supposed to be beneficial?You just suffer more for the sake of other people. Your tears won't be able to fill the bellies of starving african children nor cure anyones depression, so you're literally just making yourself more miserable for things outside of your control.

 

[Julgran]

Yes, suffering in general feels as cursed as it gets with an endless laundry list of negative aspects….BUT…

Is there a personal up-side to your pain? I feel as though it has carved me into a simpler, kinder, more modest human being with a real sense of deepened empathy and compassion. Widened patience. More giving and generous with my time. And a true feel for myself and the world.

Is there any "positive" benefit you see within yourself due to your immense experience with pain?

This is an interesting question.

The only upside that I have noticed about myself is that I have quit caring or worrying about how other people view me, and my life feels almost free of consequences. For example, having become suicidal, there's no need to worry about work or about disagreeing with other people, since such occurrences are only temporary events that may be followed by suicide eventually - so why worry..?

 

[wilted_biography]

Can someone explain to me why empathy is supposed to be beneficial?You just suffer more for the sake of other people. Your tears won't be able to fill the bellies of starving african children nor cure anyones depression, so you're literally just making yourself more miserable for things outside of your control.

With empathy, you gain understanding. It is deeper than just sympathy. With true empathy, we will not inflict additional harm onto something or someone we truly feel and understand. So yeah, the benefit to empathy is not spreading unnecessary, additional pain…I'd argue that's a pretty damn good benefit.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

With empathy, you gain understanding. It is deeper than just sympathy. With true empathy, we will not inflict additional harm onto something or someone we truly feel and understand. So yeah, the benefit to empathy is not spreading unnecessary, additional pain…I'd argue that's a pretty damn good benefit.

Yes, this is a great comment. Empathy tends to help other people feel understood and valued, which can make a huge difference.

 

[Rapière]

With empathy, you gain understanding. It is deeper than just sympathy. With true empathy, we will not inflict additional harm onto something or someone we truly feel and understand. So yeah, the benefit to empathy is not spreading unnecessary, additional pain…I'd argue that's a pretty damn good benefit.

Sometimes inflicting harm on others is unavoidable. In a world where we are all competing for limited resources, being unable to harm others for your survival and wellbeing sounds like a weakness to me.

 

[newave3]

This is an interesting question.

The only upside that I have noticed about myself is that I have quit caring or worrying about how other people view me, and my life feels almost free of consequences. For example, having become suicidal, there's no need to worry about work or about disagreeing with other people, since such occurrences are only temporary events that may be followed by suicide eventually - so why worry..?

Exactly, why should we care about anything......death awaits.

 

[Julgran]

Exactly, why should we care about anything......death awaits.

Precisely, but the emphasis is on the not worrying part. After all, we are born and then we die within 90 years, mostly, so why worry about surviving for a few days or years more - or if life could have been better..? Life itself is just a temporary stop in an infinitely long duration of nothingness, or a brief experience of this particular life between many other lives, depending on what you believe in.

This doesn't mean that we should disregard other people and treat them badly - but, rather, not to get hung up on how someone may perceive us or how we could have done something differently.

 

[newave3]

Precisely, but the emphasis is on the not worrying part. After all, we are born and then we die within 90 years, mostly, so why worry about surviving for a few days or years more - or if life could have been better..? Life itself is just a temporary stop in an infinitely long duration of nothingness, or a brief experience of this particular life between many other lives, depending on what you believe in.

This doesn't mean that we should disregard other people and treat them badly - but, rather, not to get hung up on how someone may perceive us or how we could have done something differently.

Well said. The worrying part is what I have been doing my whole life until I started having suicidal thoughts. Since the thoughts started a couple of years ago, I just shrug my shoulders at everything and everyone and say "Yeah, whatever."
IRL, I don't let people anger me much anymore. I always try to remember, "He or she who angers you, controls you."

 

[Julgran]

Well said. The worrying part is what I have been doing my whole life until I started having suicidal thoughts. Since the thoughts started a couple of years ago, I just shrug my shoulders at everything and everyone and say "Yeah, whatever."
IRL, I don't let people anger me much anymore. I always try to remember, "He or she who angers you, controls you."

You seem to have a healthy mindset

 

[Shu]

Sometimes inflicting harm on others is unavoidable. In a world where we are all competing for limited resources, being unable to harm others for your survival and wellbeing sounds like a weakness to me.

What country are you from?

 

[Rapière]

What country are you from?

How is this relevant to the discussion?

 

[VirtualSnow]

How is this relevant to the discussion?

I'm not the one that asked, but as far as I know, some countries' cultures tend to be more individualistic, so it might give some background for that opinion, it's understandable to not want to give that information though.

 

[Shu]

Y

How is this relevant to the discussion?

You mentioned limited resources that's why I'm asking.

 

[Rapière]

Y

You mentioned limited resources that's why I'm asking.

Germany.