Venting the frustrating concept of “choice”

[dra1ncoreslwt]

just quickly putting this out here because I've been overthinking it.

the way I can be so clear about what goes through my mind here in this website is a bit concerning because I don't want to seem like I'm choosing to be miserable, my methods of SH and other stuff I've had stuck in my mind are simply because I'm desperate to cope and again it's stuck in my mind, as well as looking for info on ctb. so it's not as easy choosing not to do something and choosing to "be better" I really wish it was. anyone else?

 

[Ki_Nam]

I'm here by choice and I had thoughts to ctb for a while now, even before coming here. We don't choose to be miserable, we just are if we are. It's natural to be desperate to try and cope with what you are going through.

Trying to "be better" - whether you meant it as trying to be a better person or trying to better your life to cope and be less miserable is just as difficult. It is an uphill battle, as with EVERYTHING else. Nothing is ever easy. But yes... I wish things were easier, whatever we decide to do.

 

[cogmachine]

no one really wants to be miserable, staying like that and feeling isolated has never been easier. it's understandable why you would think you want this, but even feeling like you want to stay / be in misery already is a glaring problem (as in, maybe you want for something bad to happen to you because you need a reason to feel like this, or you believe your reasons aren't "good enough"). i hope the best for you.