Venting The feeling of being spiritually contaminated

[audison]

Ever since I was little whether it be on a conscious level or not, I think maybe I've always felt that I'm not a person in the same way that most people are people. Maybe the way I look and my disease reinforces this feeling, but the best I can describe it is it feels like there is something so inherently disgusting about me spiritually that even my body knows it. It's like my body is magnetically attracted to filth. Deep down I feel like maybe I will never be able to adapt to life and the reason is because I just don't have the nature or body that is compatible with sustaining life.

As far back as four years old even I was quite a feral child and can vaguely remember thinking of myself as akin to more of an animal than a person.

I know that this is very personal but I like to treat this as a personal diary and felt the need to externalize this in some way.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry you feel that way about yourself. :) It doesn't matter how you look tho, you've been born a human, just as the rest of us~ If you weren't, you wouldn't have been able to type pr even think up all that! xD And in regards to spirituality and being attracted to filth, we all have temptations but as people we are all also blessed with the willpower to resist them, unlike animals. Do your best out there! o7

 

[icanfeelthesoil]

Ever since I was little whether it be on a conscious level or not, I think maybe I've always felt that I'm not a person in the same way that most people are people. Maybe the way I look and my disease reinforces this feeling, but the best I can describe it is it feels like there is something so inherently disgusting about me spiritually that even my body knows it. It's like my body is magnetically attracted to filth. Deep down I feel like maybe I will never be able to adapt to life and the reason is because I just don't have the nature or body that is compatible with sustaining life.

As far back as four years old even I was quite a feral child and can vaguely remember thinking of myself as akin to more of an animal than a person.

I know that this is very personal but I like to treat this as a personal diary and felt the need to externalize this in some way.

i relate to this so much i literally dont know what to say. Ive never felt akin to animals but i felt akin to ghosts, demons (i grew up in a catholic country with a catholic dad) and monsters in horror stories and shit lol. Its hard to describe it better, and id love to know more abt how u feel cuz man its crazy i didnt know someone else felt this way too

 

[audison]

i relate to this so much i literally dont know what to say. Ive never felt akin to animals but i felt akin to ghosts, demons (i grew up in a catholic country with a catholic dad) and monsters in horror stories and shit lol. Its hard to describe it better, and id love to know more abt how u feel cuz man its crazy i didnt know someone else felt this way too

Haha yeah, super hard to articulate but I think I've always felt this way too! Trippy to hear I'm not the only one

 

[sppplmgwiwlkiwbtft]

Can somewhat relate, I too have a feeling that there is something deeply wrong with me, that I'm not as human as others are, that I don't belong in this world, that I am already dead or somehow doomed ??

 

[lylas]

I kind of feel this. Has taken me a while to fully recognize that I feel this way because I am inclined towards optimism.