Help The fear is setting in.

[SNastablesalt]

I have wanted to ctb for as long as I remember. since I gained my consciousness. I've been a lurker on this site since the video we all know and hate came out, and I thank it for allowing me to come to this site. I have attempted before but, they were all me acting upon impulse, I've never had a date planned out before, until now. My date I've set is one week from now, the 30th November 2023. I have been unable to attain any of my dream methods (N, SN, CO, or the night night method) so I'm sticking with a plain old overdose. But you don't really need all the backstory, So I'll get to my point now. I am fucking terrified of dying, out of no where. Even though I know it's the one thing I desperately want, I'm terrified. I guess it's pure fear of the unknown. I'm scared that there is a heaven and hell, and that I'll burn and suffer for eternity. I'm scared that there's not, and when I'm gone, it will just be pure nothingness. no black, no white, just nothing. and I need to come to terms with it because, I have to ctb on the date I've planned, or I don't think I ever will. how did you guys come to terms with dying?

 

[thewalkingdread]

So I'll get to my point now. I am fucking terrified of dying, out of no where. Even though I know it's the one thing I desperately want, I'm terrified.

Yeah... That's the general experience/feeling. SI is kicking in...

how did you guys come to terms with dying?

Unfortunately, there is no other way around it... And that's why most of us are still here. If It was that easy to CTB, this place wouldn't exist...

 

[tpboy]

i can tell you most likely we will go to the same place we came from before we are born. i am in the same situation that you are. i think the only way i will be able to summon up the courage is if my levels of physical suffering and indignity get to a point that i really have no other option. im very close to there now.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally find the thought of eternal nothingness to be very comforting, to me death means peace as I very strongly believe we just cease existing. What I fear is this existence instead where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer, all I wish for is eternal nothingness where all is forgotten about.

 

[gbi2]

Even though your conscious mind is telling you you want to die, your subconscious mind and your body wants to live. This is why when people think suicide is a cowardly act, they don't understand how much courage it takes to overcome the subconscious as it manifests as fear.

 

[Yaffle]

Unfortunately, there is no other way around it... And that's why most of us are still here. If It was that easy to CTB, this place wouldn't exist...

100% the absolute truth

 

[Aliceinborderline]

Maybe its not your time then, like its your choice and theres no saying a over dose will work but perhaps just take a sec to think it over and if needed give your self some more time. For me i feel it is best done on impulse as setting a date only leads to anxiety

 

[pawlessz]

I have wanted to ctb for as long as I remember. since I gained my consciousness. I've been a lurker on this site since the video we all know and hate came out, and I thank it for allowing me to come to this site. I have attempted before but, they were all me acting upon impulse, I've never had a date planned out before, until now. My date I've set is one week from now, the 30th November 2023. I have been unable to attain any of my dream methods (N, SN, CO, or the night night method) so I'm sticking with a plain old overdose. But you don't really need all the backstory, So I'll get to my point now. I am fucking terrified of dying, out of no where. Even though I know it's the one thing I desperately want, I'm terrified. I guess it's pure fear of the unknown. I'm scared that there is a heaven and hell, and that I'll burn and suffer for eternity. I'm scared that there's not, and when I'm gone, it will just be pure nothingness. no black, no white, just nothing. and I need to come to terms with it because, I have to ctb on the date I've planned, or I don't think I ever will. how did you guys come to terms with dying?

sorry thats irrelevant but cal pfp!!

 

[SNastablesalt]

sorry thats irrelevant but cal pfp!!

YESYESYESYESYESSSS

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's the fear of the unknown but if you are really ready to go it will be easier to overcome SI when the pain of life is bigger than the pain of dying.

may I ask you what's your OD method?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

.Lets say today I suddenly get hit by a truck . and I got knocked out and died quickly on the street. 1 second after Death I won't exist. So I won't know I'm dead or that i don't exist nor want for anything. after death is non-existence forever. It will be like it was before i was born say the year 1859 when Darwin wrote his theory of evolution. I didn't exist in 1859, nor 1900 nor any year or day of the previous 13.8 billion years before i was born. All that time i had no problems , no worries , no pain no suffering . It was only when i was born that all the problems began for me. I've had to carry these 70 kilograms of trillions of cells they call a human body around for many years, feed it 3 times a day , keep it safe from injury and the cold with expensive housing, nutrition food . I had to carry around these 70 kilograms of meat this prison for all those years everywhere i go against the law of gravity and of entropy ( the most powerful law in the universe that makes everything break down , decay , all systems break down die). It's a huge burden and responsibility i never asked for. furthermore I live everyday under constant threat of even more unbearable torture happening to me as it is for every sentient being. after death i wont be under that threat nor have to do anything , no problems , no chance of extreme pain or suffering ever. there is no chance of consiousness again ever no afterlife no reincarnation because only the brain creates conscoiusness.

If i get hit by a truck and die people will say " that's sad how unlucky" . if get hit and live paralyzed .they'll say i'm lucky i'm alive . I say i am unlucky only cause i live and was born. the dead cannot suffer nor be unlucky as i won't exist. i hope i die soon but i'll have to do it myself.

I think fear arises from the unkown or thinking of future pain. but I know after death is non-existence foreever so there can be no pain after death ever. Why would I fear never having pain again?

Plus we are all going to die anyway so why fear the inevitable?

 

[Life'sA6itch]

I agree with pthnrdnojvsc, "I hope I die soon but I'll have to do it myself." I want there to be nothingness, I don't want to feel or experience things at other's hands any more. I'm only alive at this point because I have yet to find something that effing puts me out forever. Tried 3 times and failed each time. It's insane, just prolonged suffering while the pro-lifers spout "good vibes only" and similar garbage.

 

[thefinalcut]

It is simple math for me. It is perhaps easier for me, facing the fact I am closer to the end the beginning. I only have so many years left. I wanted to at least make it to the coast first and spend my remaining years watching the ocean. But I was let go from my job right in the middle of financing. Being realistic, I have 9-10 years of time left. Beyond that, I find no point in continuing on a line of decay. I find no point in supporting life artificially through medication. So regardless of my circumstance, it will end... but now it seems sooner rather than later. I don't want to die, but I cannot fight aging. It is a zero sum. I refuse to let entropy drag it out.

 

[rosenwasser]

I understand the stress of SI because I've been there. However, one thing pro-lifers often say really applies here: You can always ctb tomorrow (unless there is a risk of someone finding out and "saving" you). If you aren't in a rush, you can take your time, do some stuff you enjoy, reflect about life and suicide. In my experience, the SI fades (but doesn't really fully disappear) after some time if the decision is firmly made. It's just the subconscious freaking out.

 

[errorsinmypast]

Even though your conscious mind is telling you you want to die, your subconscious mind and your body wants to live. This is why when people think suicide is a cowardly act, they don't understand how much courage it takes to overcome the subconscious as it manifests as fear.

So very very true, nothing cowardly about ctb