the end is near

[here_for_now]

want to know what happens if you piss off federal agents? take a look

as i'm making this post, my panic attacks and anxiety has reached an ultimate peak. my chest is tight, my heart hurts i feel like i might honestly pass out due to anxiety or have a heart attacks but i actually hope that happens. this is the first time in my life ive had so much panic i'm...

sanctioned-suicide.net

so if you haven't read my first post take a gander

but honestly the feds won, they're probably celebrating but im killing myself tonight or very soon if my attempt fails.

the latest tactic they love to do is fake 'friend' street theater. every time i try to make friends by putting myself out there of course i make a friend with a person working with the feds and their goal is to basically ruin my hopes of making friends by basically treating me so shitty and ghosting me.

they did this about 30 mins ago while i was researching was to kill myself, they made a compromised fake friend call me and basically give me false hope (i didn't take the bait i knew the game) but i don't get any hope anymore, and then he said he'll call me back... sure buddy still waiting on that call.

but tonight hopefully i can ctb in peace. i will be hanging myself or doing some version of that

i know this is 'letting them win' but i dont care, if the feds do want me to kill myself, then thats something we both can agree on.

they've made life so miserable that suicide became the logical choice.

they love it when i'm miserable, but i can't stop them.

i hope they find a better way to find meaning, even know i can't hate them because i wont do what they did to me, but maybe if they find a different way to have fun people like me don't have to suffer in vain.

please pray for me that my suicide attempt tonight goes well.

i'll be really trying my best to die since that's my only way at freedom.

they've blocked off all sources of self medication they plant drug dealers that scam me so i can't even medicate myself to treat my health conditions or anything.

and if i go to a doctor they will also be compromised and give me nothing.

but at least i realized something, i don't care anymore about living because i don't have any will to live.

i will never work with this people or cooperate because ill kill myself instead.

these people have brought me great suffering in life and they've laughed in my face and mocked me in my face, they don't view me as a person i'm nothing but a tool for them to have a nice chuckle.

they are not to be trusted, take their stalker tools away from them and they are just hurt people who hurt people that's all.

i see their humanity, they want to feel powerful so they step on people to feel good.

i won't reject them, i don't like them of course, but they are hurting just like me, but they just torture people instead of self medicate.

goodbye yall, it's been a shitty life