The day draws nearer and i’m terrified

[MLongshaw]

Top of the rail?

Yeah, right at the top. If you still can't I guess you're not ready or need a different method. Myself I couldn't go through with your way

 

[Volatile]

Yeah, right at the top. If you still can't I guess you're not ready or need a different method. Myself I couldn't go through with your way

The rail appears circular so I won't be able to really stand on it. Yeah I don't like my way but it's a sure thing from the height I chose. I can't fail if I attempt

 

[MLongshaw]

The rail appears circular so I won't be able to really stand on it. Yeah I don't like my way but it's a sure thing from the height I chose. I can't fail if I attempt

I wish you the best whichever way it turns out to be for you.

 

[Volatile]

I wish you the best whichever way it turns out to be for you.

Thank you. To you as well.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

Hugs to you as well <3

 

[RoloTomasi]

Are you doing it tonight or really soon?

 

[Volatile]

Are you doing it tonight or really soon?

The next week or so. I can't stop crying. :(

 

[RoloTomasi]

The next week or so. I can't stop crying. :(

I see, gonna miss that Captain Planet avatar and those threads about unusual methods.

 

[Volatile]

I see, gonna miss that Captain Planet avatar and those threads about unusual methods.

:(

 

[Livide Lamb]

Good luck with this method. Hope you find peace.

 

[WanderingEremite]

I plan to jump from a very high bridge.

The reason the day is fast approaching is because my money is almost gone. My parents who are barely making it financially will give me money. I can't leech off them anymore. It's not fair to them. The issue is I can't ctb after I accept money from them because then they'll end up feeling like they aided my death.

The money given to me would partially be used for gas to get to the destination. Their guilt would be huge and they don't deserve it.

I'm so afraid though.

This isn't intended to guilt trip you or anything like that, but to offer what I think is a realistic appraisal of your situation.

It's very unlikely that your parents would be more seriously harmed by giving you money than by your ctbing. The latter would almost certainly be vastly more harmful to them. Therefore, if your immediate reason for ctbing is to help your parents, you can be virtually certain that it's better, given your interest in helping them, for you to accept their financial assistance and delay ctbing until there are other reasons for doing so (which perhaps there won't be in the future).

 

[Flashman72au]

I plan to jump from a very high bridge.

The reason the day is fast approaching is because my money is almost gone. My parents who are barely making it financially will give me money. I can't leech off them anymore. It's not fair to them. The issue is I can't ctb after I accept money from them because then they'll end up feeling like they aided my death.

The money given to me would partially be used for gas to get to the destination. Their guilt would be huge and they don't deserve it.

I'm so afraid though.

Should you be concerned about the people who have to deal with the situation after you have jumped?

 

[Flashman72au]

Mine is also coming, same method.

Hugs to you.

Same question - what about the people who have to deal with the aftermath? Can't you find a cleaner method?

 

[Volatile]

Should you be concerned about the people who have to deal with the situation after you have jumped?

No I don't care

 

[Volatile]

Same question - what about the people who have to deal with the aftermath? Can't you find a cleaner method?

I don't care

 

[Flashman72au]

I don't care

Sad - maybe you should care about other people and not just yourself.

 

[286165]

I try and keep that in mind that death is universal but deep down I feel like I'm going to live forever. That thought makes this all harder. I suppose it's from being told all your life that death is evil and scary.

I've been suicidal since I was a teenager. I never imagined myself as an adult. I went to college and picked a major and thought about a certain careeer because that's just the thing to do in your twenties, right? Got fired from my first job in my field out of college, everything else has been one failure after another, and now I'm in my mid twenties and I still have no idea what the next year of my life might look like. Having a steady job, getting married, contributing to society in some way, those just all seem like things other people get to do, not me. The reality is, I'm getting older, and therefore closer to dying. But it doesn't feel real. I don't feel any different from when I was 16, 18, 21– in the brief intervals in which I haven't wanted to die, aging and dying wasn't scary, it was too far away to worry about. But when you start trying to plan your death, you remember that even if you don't die now, you will, and things only MIGHT get better by then, and they might get worse, or just be the same, only now you're old.

Sorry I definitely migrated from your original statement but I meant to say that I agree, it does feel like I'm going to live forever, it's like an inverse of the impending death I'm otherwise obsessed with. It's probably a bipolar thing.

 

[Volatile]

Sad - maybe you should care about other people and not just yourself.

I care about my parents. Everyone else is just an Extra in this video game called Life

 

[Ice Poseidon]

I care about my parents. Everyone else is just an Extra in this video game called Life

Have you thought about moving in with them and helping them out? They could be your purpose in life since they are also struggling.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

I've been suicidal since I was a teenager. I never imagined myself as an adult. I went to college and picked a major and thought about a certain careeer because that's just the thing to do in your twenties, right? Got fired from my first job in my field out of college, everything else has been one failure after another, and now I'm in my mid twenties and I still have no idea what the next year of my life might look like. Having a steady job, getting married, contributing to society in some way, those just all seem like things other people get to do, not me. The reality is, I'm getting older, and therefore closer to dying. But it doesn't feel real. I don't feel any different from when I was 16, 18, 21– in the brief intervals in which I haven't wanted to die, aging and dying wasn't scary, it was too far away to worry about. But when you start trying to plan your death, you remember that even if you don't die now, you will, and things only MIGHT get better by then, and they might get worse, or just be the same, only now you're old.

Sorry I definitely migrated from your original statement but I meant to say that I agree, it does feel like I'm going to live forever, it's like an inverse of the impending death I'm otherwise obsessed with. It's probably a bipolar thing.

We all feel immortal in our 20's even 30's feels far away 40's the reality of death is real 50's feels like I've had about enough why wait around for significant aging and death. The average life expectancy is about 85 that seems too long expecially if you are unpaired without children,

 

[Flashman72au]

I care about my parents. Everyone else is just an Extra in this video game called Life

that's good - and I accept what you want to do and would like you to go as peacefully as possible.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

Same question - what about the people who have to deal with the aftermath? Can't you find a cleaner method?

I would suspect most injury to be internal injury from blunt force trauma (over the water) don't imagine there would be much of a mess. The success rate is around 99% higher than in firearms, and much cleaner. I could never throw myself off what amounts to a 90 story building but I certainly respect those who can, it does make a statement, and I have always felt a bit of awe at the people with such determination.

 

[Volatile]

Have you thought about moving in with them and helping them out? They could be your purpose in life since they are also struggling.

I can't. They live in a retirement home. Anyway we don't live well together. Visiting is a different experience than living with them.

 

[Volatile]

I would suspect most injury to be internal injury from blunt force trauma (over the water) don't imagine there would be much of a mess. The success rate is around 99% higher than in firearms, and much cleaner. I could never throw myself off what amounts to a 90 story building but I certainly respect those who can, it does make a statement, and I have always felt a bit of awe at the people with such determination.

What statement would it make?

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

What statement would it make?

To me it's like a rejection of society in a very loud voice. It's hard to put a finger on it unless you have been near a place at the moment it happens, to me it feels a bit holy, and makes you think deeply about life, all the rediculously roadblocks, it's like witnessing an earth shattering event, just that feeling.

 

[Ice Poseidon]

I can't. They live in a retirement home. Anyway we don't live well together. Visiting is a different experience than living with them.

That's a good point.. I'm sorry.

 

[typx]

I was in free fall once. Related to something called rope access. I only fell a foot or so. But time slowed to a crawl and when I realized there was nothing I could do to stop my fall a sense of peace came over me. I think it was my internal desire to just stop. The rope caught me and o was okay, whatever it was, there was finally some peace for those brief moments.

 

[Volatile]

I was in free fall once. Related to something called rope access. I only fell a foot or so. But time slowed to a crawl and when I realized there was nothing I could do to stop my fall a sense of peace came over me. I think it was my internal desire to just stop. The rope caught me and o was okay, whatever it was, there was finally some peace for those brief moments.

Sounds glorious