Venting The daily routine of a 19 year old loser

[prettyclam]

7:00 AM- Wake up & scroll on my phone until my father goes to work. I'm only allowed to get out of bed once he leaves.

10:00 AM- Eat food if there is any. I usually eat junk like hot cheetos, or sometimes a single piece of fruit.

10AM to 4:00PM- Lay in bed ruminating my depressed thoughts.

4:30PM to 8:30PM- Go to my part time job that pays less than minimum wage. Endure homophobic comments from my manager who doesn't know I'm lgbt.

9:00 PM- Return home then eat dinner which is either air or more junk. Text my girlfriend. Pretend I'm getting better.

10:00PM- Shower, read fanfiction lol, then sleep.

This is the life I'm supposed to fight my depression for. There's absolutely no reason why I should keep living. I don't contribute to society. I'm not a good daughter, friend, girlfriend, ect. I don't light up rooms when I enter them. I'm not a bubbly extrovert nor a sweet introvert. I'm not a person and I'll never be. I've tried before but after my hard efforts, my daily routine boils down to above. I don't understand why people think there is some kind of magical untapped potential and motivation inside depressed people. Maybe there is for some, but for those like me, there's nothing.

 

[Esc9434]

You are still young and can turn things around.

No one always have the answers, especially at your age.

First, ask yourself what do you want in life? What do you uniquely bring to those around you?

Second, start taking care of your mental and physical health better.

Third, ask yourself what are you good at? Or, what you want to do?

Fourth, utilize LLMs with the answers from point #3 and ask what job best suits you if you cannot figure something out on your own.

Fifth, start networking to find a better job. In America, you can utilize the county, public library, Goodwill, and etc. to help you find a better job/career of some sort. Join Nextdoor app to find out what is going on in your community. Join some career subreddits.

Sixth, don't forget to do self-care during this new journey. That is important. Don't forget to have fun and be kind to yourself.

Good luck.

 

[prettyclam]

You are still young and can turn things around.

No one always have the answers, especially at your age.

First, ask yourself what do you want in life? What do you uniquely bring to those around you?

Second, start taking care of your mental and physical health better.

Third, ask yourself what are you good at? Or, what you want to do?

Fourth, utilize LLMs with the answers from point #3 and ask what job best suits you if you cannot figure something out on your own.

Fifth, start networking to find a better job. In America, you can utilize the county, public library, Goodwill, and etc. to help you find a better job/career of some sort. Join Nextdoor app to find out what is going on in your community. Join some career subreddits.

Sixth, don't forget to do self-care during this new journey. That is important. Don't forget to have fun and be kind to yourself.

Good luck.

Tysm for the motivation my depression gets so bad that I can't find it for myself. I still have time until my SN comes so I might as well follow your advice. I had been trying to get another job (even though I might not be alive much longer to work it) through online applications. Those don't really work though so I'll try your in-person approach of things