Discussion The belief in the Matrix and the need to escape it. Or am I just going crazy?

[monkeyfff]

I have been going crazy the last couple of days maybe even weeks. Compulsively masturbating every 1 to 3 hours at days where I am doing nothing but rotting in bed. And after a suicide attempt with morphine (too low of a dose unfortunately) I have been going insane because of the Matrix.

I have always been a fan of the Matrix trilogy and the Animatrix series and I have always held them in high regards and as something that shaped who I am today (a loser). At this point in my life I believe in predeterminism and the fact that everything is just a chain reaction of the start of the beginning (for some that could be the Big Bang for others Allah or God). I don't believe in free will and I believe everything is happening according to that first domino that fell. This is something I want to write about in the future, but I will leave it at that for now.

The Matrix fits into this as it's based on a simulation (multiple even) and fits in my world view. I have started to believe that I am in the Matrix with all of you and that I have to escape it as this is the domain of the Devil aka hell. I have also began to view everyone as potential demons trying to do the Devil's bidding and keeping me chained in the Matrix. Yes, I have begun fearing and hating people silently as a result. I am restless and everything that goes against this belief feels like a test or manipulation from the Devil. I am starting to somehow believe that perhaps those who off themselves escape the Matrix and the Devil is just experimenting with us and testing us for some unknown reason. I don't know the motivation behind that but it feels like it. The Animatrix series has an episode called Kid's Story which I am even more obsessed with as it includes themes like suicide which I believe to be one of the ways to escape the Matrix. This is all crazy I know and many of you might push back on it which of course will prompt me to subconsciously view you as demons for doing that for the Devil.

I know I am rambling a lot but I just want to know if I am going crazy. I have this wish that I could off myself and escape the Matrix. I don't claim to know what is beyond the Matrix. Perhaps there are more layers of this prison. Perhaps the Matrix not even ruled by the Devil like I am starting to believe. I don't know. I am getting scared of myself, but simultaneously do like the fact that I might be fighting back against the system, the programming, breaking and cracking the code. Rebelling and flipping everyone off with the middle finger metaphorically does feel euphoric and exhilarating but this is probably just part of the script, of the chain of events that have to and need to occur.

Maybe there is no escaping the Matrix. Probably not. We are fucked.

 

[derpyderpins]

Well, with this stuff, what I try to do to feel less "crazy" is not get too fixated on specifics.

I think your general sense of feeling trapped, there being unseen forces that are not widely known or recognized, and whatever has 'power' over us being malicious, are things a lot of people are feeling in one way or another. Lots of people, particularly online, are moving to spiritual beliefs like gnosticism and the idea that the Christian 'God' is the demiurge, a lesser god who believes himself to be the Almighty and has us trapped here in this world.

Where I've personally been drifting is that we have a higher 'state' of consciousness that we can reach and that our modern lifestyle moves us away from that state. I try to consider it from a neuroscience standpoint, that we're stuck in disregulated default modal network overdrive, which makes us experience time more closely to linear while also losing our higher functions of creation an deeper thinking. I also firmly believe in a type of spiritual energy that we can't really identify or measure yet being related to yet.

But whether it's your concept of the matrix, gnosticism and their pursuit of gnosis (enlightenment) to break free from the reincarnation cycle and find the true god, my view of needing to free our minds from the self-made cages we've got them in, or one of many similar views, there is that same theme of escape, a feeling that many people - being trapped - are not seeing or considering the important things, and a sense that forces are working against us.

So just considering the idea of a matrix doesn't make you crazy. And wanting to solve it by finding an escape isn't crazy.

I think the caution has to be losing yourself in paranoia, isolation, and hatred. In all of these explanations, *that* is actually a way that the controlling power keeps the questioners trapped, right? Strong anger and negative emotions get them trapped in another way. If other people don't see it, it's not malice. They're doing their best in a difficult situation. They may never see things as you do, but that doesn't make getting upset with them or looking down on them have any value.

I firmly believe that human connection is necessary in every escape scenario. Finding some well meaning confidants willing to explore with you is a good goal.

And yeah, we're probably fucked. But let's do our best and uncover what we can in the time we have.

 

[monkeyfff]

In all of these explanations, *that* is actually a way that the controlling power keeps the questioners trapped, right?

This is I think one of the most important questions for me to answer if there is any answer to it at all.

Thank you for taking your time reading my ramblings. I appreciate it very much.

 

[FF777]

how do you have enough extra energy to believe all of this stuff?.. that would get exhausting to me after a while..

can you do hypotheticals?.. hypothetically if you're just going crazy and the world isn't a huge matrix simulation controlled by lord satan or what ever, then how is any one supposed to convince you of that when you will just see their arguments through the context of "wait but maybe satan is making them say this to me to keep me enslaved"? lol....

all of these extraordinary claims (of being in the matrix) kind of requires extraordinary evidence to start believing in it, but where is the evidence?.. i would think a person should default in just believing this is real life and not a simulation, because that is the simplest and most probable explanation, and then they can start creating theories of other possibilities when they start seeing evidence of it.. and not just flimsy evidence..

but even if satan is controlling the matrix, or lizard people have us in a huge simulation, or just what ever theories are out there are true, does it really change much?.. it's kind of like reading political news and people get upset over the news but then they still go outside of their house to the grocery store or go for a walk in the park and nothing really changes significantly.. you can still just live your life and enjoy the steak..

as far as the domino effect and not having free will, those 2 things actually aren't mutually exclusive like you think they are.. hypothetically IF there were some omniscient being that could know 100% of how every cause & reaction of every single atom in the whole universe will end up behaving, then yes they could predict how every thing will play out, but realistically no one has the power to know what 100% of the atoms in the universe are going to do all the time constantly, and so subjectively no one knows what the future holds.. As far as the free will part, even if there WERE a being that knew how things would play out, it would be in the context that they know what every being/human/animal is going to choose to do with their free will, but that doesn't mean that that free will doesn't exist.. it's basically like if you put a mouse in to a box with a piece of cheese in it and a piece of ginger in it, you know the mouse is going to start eating the cheese and not the ginger, but that doesn't mean his free will isn't choosing to eat the cheese, it's just that you know what his free will is going to decide to do, but he still has the free will..

Try pushing a random key on your keyboard right now... you can choose any letter or number etc that you like.. you have free will to choose which one key you want to push, but what if i told you i already know which one you are going to end up deciding to push?.. that doesn't mean you aren't using your free will to think and decide which key you feel like pushing, it's just that i already know which one it's going to be.. it's the mouse curiously asking "how did you know i was going to pick this cheese?"..

good luck out there neo..

 

[monkeyfff]

how do you have enough extra energy to believe all of this stuff?.. that would get exhausting to me after a while..

I honestly just want out and I need a way to rebel against the system. I don't know, I just don't want this life, existence and world. I fully reject it but the fear that there is nothing beyond this hell or even worse that there is some form of reincarnation or permanence scares me. This is all out of instinctual subconscious desperation.

can you do hypotheticals?.. hypothetically if you're just going crazy and the world isn't a huge matrix simulation controlled by lord satan or what ever, then how is any one supposed to convince you of that when you will just see their arguments through the context of "wait but maybe satan is making them say this to me to keep me enslaved"? lol....

That's what is keeping me from fully committing to the belief. I don't know if I am trapping myself or if I am truly trapped by the Devil. It stresses me out knowing that this belief or any belief really is so unfalsifiable.

all of these extraordinary claims (of being in the matrix) kind of requires extraordinary evidence to start believing in it, but where is the evidence?.. i would think a person should default in just believing this is real life and not a simulation, because that is the simplest and most probable explanation, and then they can start creating theories of other possibilities when they start seeing evidence of it.. and not just flimsy evidence..

The worst part of this is that I don't have any evidence except my unacceptance of this reality. I want to believe because otherwise I am screwed. This whole belief is not based on logic it's not founded on logic this is pure desperation and a need to escape what I am and this reality. I can't stand it, I just don't want it.

but even if satan is controlling the matrix, or lizard people have us in a huge simulation, or just what ever theories are out there are true, does it really change much?.. it's kind of like reading political news and people get upset over the news but then they still go outside of their house to the grocery store or go for a walk in the park and nothing really changes significantly.. you can still just live your life and enjoy the steak..

For me it means a lot, it means that there are actors that caused my existence and my suffering. That there are those that could have done things differently that could've not made me like this or changed what life is about. It makes it harder to accept this reality as it wasn't then just by mere chance or by everything being predetermined and out of anyone's control. Actual sentient forces or beings that have caused my pain. I can't accept that.

as far as the domino effect and not having free will, those 2 things actually aren't mutually exclusive like you think they are.. hypothetically IF there were some omniscient being that could know 100% of how every cause & reaction of every single atom in the whole universe will end up behaving, then yes they could predict how every thing will play out, but realistically no one has the power to know what 100% of the atoms in the universe are going to do all the time constantly, and so subjectively no one knows what the future holds.. As far as the free will part, even if there WERE a being that knew how things would play out, it would be in the context that they know what every being/human/animal is going to choose to do with their free will, but that doesn't mean that that free will doesn't exist.. it's basically like if you put a mouse in to a box with a piece of cheese in it and a piece of ginger in it, you know the mouse is going to start eating the cheese and not the ginger, but that doesn't mean his free will isn't choosing to eat the cheese, it's just that you know what his free will is going to decide to do, but he still has the free will..

Try pushing a random key on your keyboard right now... you can choose any letter or number etc that you like.. you have free will to choose which one key you want to push, but what if i told you i already know which one you are going to end up deciding to push?.. that doesn't mean you aren't using your free will to think and decide which key you feel like pushing, it's just that i already know which one it's going to be.. it's the mouse curiously asking "how did you know i was going to pick this cheese?"..

free will
2 of 2
noun
1: voluntary choice or decision
I do this of my own free will.

2: freedom of humans to make choices that are not determined by prior causes or by divine intervention

Number two is the definition of free will I use. With the domino effect each choice is determined by prior causes thus there is no free will in my opinion. Your examples aren't sadly free will as that was already predetermined by things that happened prior.

good luck out there neo..

Unfortunately I am not Neo and I never will be on his level. I am just a sad blob of meat, bones and water that cries, but thank you for taking your time reading my stupidity.