That feeling when you are alone at home

[whatevs]

I'm home alone, well perhaps my brother is in his room gaming but we barely talk. It's a rainy day. I'm alone and feeling empty and restless. I've been sick for 10 years. Tomorrow I will feel diseased and tired, and the next, and the week after that, and perhaps all my life after that. I'm destined to take my life with this illness, and I've known it since a long time.

Life is one task after another, one exertion after another, hurdles to jump over, fights to have, puzzles to decipher. It's very hard and painful, the same old struggle for survival that our cells remember from millions of years ago, thinly disguised by civilization, but if you aren't enjoying yourself what are you surviving for?

 

[lifecouldbedream]

Buddhists have acknowledged that life is mostly pain and suffering. I suppose if you are not enjoying life but do not want to die, your best option would be attempting to find peace by accepting your circumstances. The meaning of life is subjective to everyone, which is why I think that if you truly believe your life has no meaning then it is okay to end it if you so wish. For me, my meaning is to experience and learn of the ways that reality functions. To live with a companion and experience life with them.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not see any point to living personally, it is just suffering for the sake of it. All that humans do is just pass the time until they eventually die.
I think that many people are still alive as it is difficult to leave this world, if there was an option to fall asleep and never wake up without having to go through the ctb process, many would probably choose that. Maybe some other people fear death, and they find it hard to let go of this life as this existence is all they know.

 

[whatevs]

I do not see any point to living personally, it is just suffering for the sake of it. All that humans do is just pass the time until they eventually die.
I think that many people are still alive as it is difficult to leave this world, if there was an option to fall asleep and never wake up without having to go through the ctb process, many would probably choose that. Maybe some other people fear death, and they find it hard to let go of this life as this existence is all they know.

Most people are attached to life and wouldn't kill themselves no matter how easy and painless it was. Personally I'm trying to get something out of existing instead of just ending it but it's not being all that successful.

 

[eriuwU.200]

Hello, what you are going to read is not the same as you spend your day to day, but I am a person with Glaucoma, blind. My life is to be blind and mistreated all my life, at home, at school... forever and it will never stop. I also want to leave here since I was a little girl but I don't know how or when. I'll just tell you: let's be happy.

 

[whatevs]

Hello, what you are going to read is not the same as you spend your day to day, but I am a person with Glaucoma, blind. My life is to be blind and mistreated all my life, at home, at school... forever and it will never stop. I also want to leave here since I was a little girl but I don't know how or when. I'll just tell you: let's be happy.

Do you have spare happy pills lying around?

 

[Istanbulite]

Hello, what you are going to read is not the same as you spend your day to day, but I am a person with Glaucoma, blind. My life is to be blind and mistreated all my life, at home, at school... forever and it will never stop. I also want to leave here since I was a little girl but I don't know how or when. I'll just tell you: let's be happy.

I am so sorry to hear. How do you type while blind...hope it is not a rude thing to ask

 

[JakeFlake]

I am so sorry to hear. How do you type while blind...hope it is not a rude thing to ask

Thanks for asking what I wanted to.

 

[TakeMeBack07]

Most people are attached to life and wouldn't kill themselves no matter how easy and painless it was. Personally I'm trying to get something out of existing instead of just ending it but it's not being all that successful.

I'm searching for that, too. i'm ashamed to say my timidness prevents me from searching too far from comfort though. it feels like i'm trapped in hopelessness and shame

 

[JinnDX]

I do not see any point to living personally, it is just suffering for the sake of it. All that humans do is just pass the time until they eventually die.
I think that many people are still alive as it is difficult to leave this world, if there was an option to fall asleep and never wake up without having to go through the ctb process, many would probably choose that. Maybe some other people fear death, and they find it hard to let go of this life as this existence is all they know.

So beautifully written. Nothing to add.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm always home alone, so I don't know how the feelings of emptiness and restlessness compound when I find myself that way. It's just always that way. I guess it's my normal. Not sure what situation would amplify it more. Maybe reminiscing about better days. I don't know.

 

[whatevs]

I'm always home alone, so I don't know how the feelings of emptiness and restlessness compound when I find myself that way. It's just always that way. I guess it's my normal. Not sure what situation would amplify it more. Maybe reminiscing about better days. I don't know.

That's interesting. I have a big family and the house is seldom empty. I think I would be suicidal in a very real way if I was alone all day. Right now I'm trying to fight suicide the best I can.

 

[Judy Garland]

Buddhists have acknowledged that life is mostly pain and suffering. I suppose if you are not enjoying life but do not want to die, your best option would be attempting to find peace by accepting your circumstances. The meaning of life is subjective to everyone, which is why I think that if you truly believe your life has no meaning then it is okay to end it if you so wish. For me, my meaning is to experience and learn of the ways that reality functions. To live with a companion and experience life with them.

And the Buddhists are telling the truth. Life IS mostly pain and suffering. Even the smallest type of suffering like feeling a small hunger pain, or even the urge of needing to urinate...all of that is suffering. I'm tired. This is not how life was meant to be. It's really not.

 

[eriuwU.200]

Don't worry, I have an iPhone phone and it has a screen reader; A screen reader is a voice that reads what appears on the screen for blind people. That's why I can read the messages and Answer them

 

[whatevs]

You have a special keyboard too, no? But how do you know how to respond to a person? For responding I need to click on reply etc

 

[eriuwU.200]

Yes

 

[ikadasui]

Sadly at this point it's because I don't want to dissappoint my raid team on a game. I know I'll eventually opt out early, but I can't stomach the thought that my last bastion could turn to dislike me If I fuck them over. I'm starting to accept more and more though that with my life in the shambles it is, that I'm gonna have to settle. Far too drained and in my insane household I live in what could be considered combat zone stress. I won't be able to maintain any bonds in this state despite what I desire

 

[eriuwU.200]

I understand, as the only person with a disability in a family that will always remind you that you are nobody or anything, where you are mentally abused 24/7 and that you have no friends or support, it's horrible, I want to leave here but I wait at the right time.

 

[whatevs]

I understand, as the only person with a disability in a family that will always remind you that you are nobody or anything, where you are mentally abused 24/7 and that you have no friends or support, it's horrible, I want to leave here but I wait at the right time.

My family is supportive in fact, they are not perfect but without them I probably would have died already. Although sometimes I do wonder if my parents aren´t actually holding me and my brother back. He is also chronically ill and lives with the three of us.

 

[eriuwU.200]

I don't want to disturb, but could you know the disease they live with?

 

[whatevs]

I don't want to disturb, but could you know the disease they live with?

I have some unknown sleep disorder and my brother has chronic pericarditis.

 

[eriuwU.200]

Uy… I'm very sorry to ask such a thing