
veryhappyhuman
Specialist
- Aug 25, 2021
- 340
I recently read somewhere that weed helps calm the mind and remedy depressive thoughts for a bit. Someone even said it was a cure for suicidal ideation. Luckily I'm in a country where it's legal so decided to try it for the first time in my life (note, I've never even smoked tobacco or had alcohol before). Being a complete virgin to drugs I decided to start slow, so took an edible with 15 mg THC and 10 mg CBD. It was a proper cannabis establishment so I knew it was genuine.
The effect lasted for about 5 hours and I didn't enjoy one minute of it. At the start, I began uncontrollably laughing at nothing. It was mildly amusing for a few minutes to find myself laughing that hard after a long long time. But soon, I found myself desperately wanting to stop but couldn't (think of it like someone tickles you for like an hour -- it starts out fun for the first 5 sec then quickly becomes torture). After that the real nightmare started. Weird noises, everything sounding like loud music playing inside my ear, paranoia that I ll get arrested for some reason (even though some part of me knew I'd done nothing illegal in my life) that made me curl up on my bed, visual defects (like a zoomed out laptop screen no matter how close I brought it to my face) and on and on. I put on a comedy video on youtube to try and relax but I couldnt focus on what the guy was saying even for 5 sec. I got some dinner at my usual, favorite place but couldn't even enjoy the taste. It tasted extremely bitter (but the bitterness kinda came from the back of the throat as opposed to the tongue, which made it 10x worse). It was an absolute assault on all my senses. It also did not stop my CTB thoughts at all, in fact ironically I was wishing the weed I took would kill me by itself. I was just internally screaming and begging for the effects to stop the whole time; maybe externally screaming too, who knows.
I'm not saying weed is bad or trying to discourage anyone from getting high. Maybe it is pleasurable for others, maybe you need less of a fucked up mind to enjoy it. It's just sad that there's quite literally nothing in the world to help me at this point.
The effect lasted for about 5 hours and I didn't enjoy one minute of it. At the start, I began uncontrollably laughing at nothing. It was mildly amusing for a few minutes to find myself laughing that hard after a long long time. But soon, I found myself desperately wanting to stop but couldn't (think of it like someone tickles you for like an hour -- it starts out fun for the first 5 sec then quickly becomes torture). After that the real nightmare started. Weird noises, everything sounding like loud music playing inside my ear, paranoia that I ll get arrested for some reason (even though some part of me knew I'd done nothing illegal in my life) that made me curl up on my bed, visual defects (like a zoomed out laptop screen no matter how close I brought it to my face) and on and on. I put on a comedy video on youtube to try and relax but I couldnt focus on what the guy was saying even for 5 sec. I got some dinner at my usual, favorite place but couldn't even enjoy the taste. It tasted extremely bitter (but the bitterness kinda came from the back of the throat as opposed to the tongue, which made it 10x worse). It was an absolute assault on all my senses. It also did not stop my CTB thoughts at all, in fact ironically I was wishing the weed I took would kill me by itself. I was just internally screaming and begging for the effects to stop the whole time; maybe externally screaming too, who knows.
I'm not saying weed is bad or trying to discourage anyone from getting high. Maybe it is pleasurable for others, maybe you need less of a fucked up mind to enjoy it. It's just sad that there's quite literally nothing in the world to help me at this point.