Terrifying dream last night about my SN

[Rue89]

I had a weird and terrifying dream last night. I dreamed that I was home alone and the doorbell rang. When I opened the door there were two policemen and Scott Walker (why, idk???). They said they had a warrant to search the house, but they wouldn't say what for. I was free to move around the house, so after they searched my room I went in there and found that my SN was gone. When I came out of my room they were in the kitchen and one of the policemen was holding my bottle of SN. He said, "It's technically illegal for you to have this and I know what you're going to use it for, but I'll give it back to you this time." Then he handed it to me and they left.
(Yes I know it's not illegal in the US to own SN. It was just part of the dream.)

I woke up shaking. My mind was still in the dream and it took me a minute to realize it wasn't real. But I checked my closet to make sure my SN was there anyway. Of course it was. It still gives me the creeps thinking about the dream. I guess I probably had the dream because I'm planning to ctb soon so my SN has been on my mind a lot lately, and my biggest fear is someone finding it and stopping me. My mom is the only person who could possibly search my room, but she has no reason to. Still I worry about it. I hope I don't have any more dreams like this before I go.

 

[beyond_aquila_rift]

This happened to me. Like almost exactly. It's so weird how we have these dreams. I've been getting closer and closer to ctb and I've had horrendous nightmares. One was similar to this. I didn't write it down so I don't remember many details but someone found out about my ctb plan and took my SN, and I basically lost all chance to follow through with ctb in any way. There was no way out. Woke up so terrified. I hope I don't have that nightmare again.

*hugs

 

[lostangel]

I suggest finding a hiding place for your SN. So if that ever happens your SN will be safe. For the dreams though I think it's your brain trying to make sense of all this. I have had weird dreams but after googling them some of them reflect fears or subconscious thoughts that I have suppressed. This may be happening to you. Hope everything goes well though!

 

[ssaaahmo]

I hope you find peace and things go okay for you.

 

[InTheAirTonight]

I want to do full suspension hanging with belt postion like this below, which will be loose, not tight. It's not all the way around the neck like a tight belt. Like this person below. Will it work?

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Wonder how much it would cost for someone to take me out.

It sounds melodramatic but this site is the only support that I, as well as so many other users, have. If it was taken down... the thought is making me start to panic.