Help Terrified

[Egddios]

What about a truck at 90km deserted motorway at night

If you dressed all in dark colors and laid in the highway, maybe. I've heard of people doing this. Late at night, there's usually a lot of cargo trucks and car carriers (my father was a truck driver for 30+ years, he sometimes tells me of encounters he's had on the road at night).

I would choose train over this method though, and would go to the tracks at night. Later the better, however your husband may wake and notice you've gone, which may start the alarm. And again, dress in dark colors.

 

[Ghost2211]

There has got to be a better option than train. Aside from collateral damage there is the noise and lights. It's not like it will sneak up on you. That sounds really scary.

 

[Lastsauce]

I know you feel horrible and have great urge to get out of the trap as soon as possible, severe anxiety is not nice at all.

 

[SettOne1994]

Hehe, love it. You know fwiw, if that's your main problem I'd hate to see you go through with it. I do feel it would be a waste. Don't get me wrong, I understand, my father did the same thing and it led to divorce, but he really is a POS, you know, and I do feel neither he nor your hubby are worth it. But that's your choice ofc and I suppose there's more, hm. Sorry about that.




Ok, I agree, if this was the method, it's probably best to use a freight train. As mentioned because of the passengers, but I honestly don't see a human stopping a train. A locomotive weighs 100-225 tons (thats more than a tank, possibly thrice that), factor in the wagons and momentum and it seems impossible.

As for delays, no one likes them, but I just don't feel it's a factor when we consider someone's life being destroyed (possibly more, depending on the driver). I live near some train tracks and we've had some suicides over the years, but I've also heard people on the train complaining and joking about the "idiots" who'd done it on another day of all days because it was a nuisance to them. Fuck those people. Sorry.

yes no human can derail a train with his body. By the way ive seen in germany passenger trains are not that fast , if you want to reduce your agony check the time when those superfast trains with goods show up they run like hell...this can save you time and agony...remember the neck in the rails is less painful then jumping in front of the whole train

 

[Cave Johnson]

...the other method that forces a fellow human to murder you against their will...t.

Just an aside here, stepping in front of a train while the train is moving 100+km/hr and being subsequently killed by said train does not by extension make the person conducting the train your murderer. Now that's not to say the conductor wouldn't feel responsible, but a sense of responsibility for an action that was taken outside of your control which you couldn't have stopped even if you wanted to does not make you responsible for that action.

...I suspect the train would be the same. Most people will view it as selfish...

To be honest here, there are a lot of people that think CTBing is selfish no matter the method used. choosing one method over another based on how selfish/unselfish those that survive you think you were seems... Vain and pointless. Personal opinion here though.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Just an aside here, stepping in front of a train while the train is moving 100+km/hr and being subsequently killed by said train does not by extension make the person conducting the train your murderer. Now that's not to say the conductor wouldn't feel responsible, but a sense of responsibility for an action that was taken outside of your control which you couldn't have stopped even if you wanted to does not make you responsible for that action.

Yup, I need to reframe that. Thank you for pointing out my error.

If someone is conducting a train and a person steps in front of it and dies, the train killed them, not the conductor, who is therefore blameless. Potentially deeply affected, potentially traumatized, potentially not, but in fact blameless. It is the responsibility of the one doing the stepping, and they won't be around (hopefully) to be held accountable. But that does not release the accountability. The goal is self-assault, but a byproduct is emotional assault on the conductor due to negligence or intent by the one stepping.

Don't mean to sound cold. This is all serious stuff with multiple perspectives. This perspective doesn't take into account the motivating anxiety of the OP, but potential outcomes of an act it may potentially spark. I care about the OP and her pain, I wish her the best possible release from it, in life, or via the best death if there is no better solution. I pray there are better options for her and, in this case, for an innocent other.

I apologize to @Tamazi 123 for the condemnation in my original post. I was not in fact speaking with reason, I acted in ignorance. You do not deserve condemnation, you deserve peace. I sincerely apologize if my words compounded your anxiety or brought other bad feelings. Thank you, @Cave Johnson for making me and others reading aware of my error.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm so sorry your anxiety is so bad that you are thinking of such a thing. I have faced similar anxiety and I know how it feels to want everything to stop, right now.
You've had the pitfalls and details of such an action explained to you very eloquently and there's nothing I can add to that. I hope that you can make the right choice.