The dildo has my vote too ! Trying it tonight - but pretty sure it won't damage my brainstem - so this is NOT a good-bye thread !

Yay, suicide by dildo, two votes.
Seriously, I was recently asked if I had a plan. I took a long, dramatic pause and responded yes.
I was then asked about my plan. After another, even longer dramatic pause, I responded "suicide by... dildo", with a very straight face.
She already had the pen in her hand and was taking very detailed notes already.
She looked down at her paper and began to write, she paused.
I saw her eyes, trying to visualize how "suicide by dildo" might work. I wish I could see what images she had in her mind.
She looked at me and said, I'm sorry can you say that again. I repeated, suicide by dildo. You know, a dillll doooo (with hand gesture).
Then I explained to her that a person can be suicidal and still maintain a sense of humour.
It worked!!